1 November 2003
Another Year, Another Halloween
I ended up working on Halloween night this year, just like I do every year.
I’m not complaining, really. In it’s own way Halloween night is probably one of the most amusing nights of the year for me. Why is that, you ask? Simple. Halloween night serves as a showcase for just how low this sad sorry species of ours will go in pursuit of a good time.
Every year Red’s in West Edmonton Mall plays host to a Halloween extravaganza. Every year the show sells out. It isn’t hard to understand why when you look at some of the door prizes that are being given away. Of course, being Halloween, there’s a contest to decide the best costume, so everybody comes dressed up. So every year I get an eyeful.
The most popular costumes for women this year seemed to be Naughty Nurses, Cheerleaders, and Catholic Schoolgirls. Am I complaining? Hell no! I see more skin on Halloween night than I do any other time of the year.
One girl came out dressed as Uma Thurman's character from the movie Kill Bill, complete with Katana.
The two girls who were manning the front counter in the Bowling center were dressed up as Beauty Pageant Contestants. Before the crowds hit and started filling the place up they decided that it would be a good idea for them to get something to eat, while they had the chance. It’s moments like that when I wish that I owned a camera. I would have loved to get the image of two beauty queens stuffing their faces before the big show on film.
On the male side of things there seemed to be a definite savagery theme happening. There were lots of characters from the Lord of the Rings. One fellow came dressed as William Wallace from Braveheart. A couple of guys came with mock chainsaws attached to their hand like that one character from Evil Dead 2.
One fellow came in wearing a Police K-9 uniform accompanied by a Seeing Eye dog. Beautiful dog, but I promised myself that if the little bastard pissed on one of my lanes I was going to take it out on the guy who brought him to the show.
One fellow came in dressed in a bow tie, Chippendale cuffs on his wrists, and a red thong. He spent his night dancing from one part of the building to another. He attempted to dance in the middle of the approach but I stopped him before he could really get started. I would have loved to let him do it, but he didn’t seem to be making any money so demanding a cut would be impossible.
One guy came dressed in surgical scrubs, wearing a surgical mask and a sign that said, “I have SARS!”
The sheer variety among the costumes is impressive in and of itself. It’s obvious that people spend a lot of time preparing for this event every year.
Of course, there are always some costumes that just shouldn’t see the light of day. One guy came dressed as a homeless man, complete with a cardboard box that had a sign on it proclaiming that it was his house. I guess humor is in the eye of the one laughing at it.
I didn’t see my favorite costume of the night, though, until I got off work. Like I do every night I went across the street to Humpty’s to kill time until the busses were running again. Michelle was dressed up as Cleopatra. She was wearing a long purple velvet dress, some kind of plastic thing around her neck that draped a little ways over her shoulders, and a black shoulder length wig. And there I was dressed up as a Red’s Pinsetter Mechanic. I felt like such an asp.
The last time I talked to her about it she was undecided about what she was going to wear. I suggested dressing as a French Maid. She told me to roger myself.
All I know is, next year I really have to get myself a camera. Maybe I’ll try to get hold of some of the pictures taken by some of the Red’s staff and scan the best of them. We’ll see what happens.