8 April 2003

Morale Building

The responses to this Musing begin here ...

A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes that she is beautiful - he just hadn't noticed it at first. - W. Wilson Smith

I've had some time to think about some things lately, especially since I started taking the Anti Depressants. I don't know if this has been true for anyone else but I found that when I stopped being a walking dead man I was able to look back and see how my depression was effecting not only me, but also some of the people around me.

I've heard people say that you always know when you're loved. You can feel it. I've come to believe that's true, but I've also come to believe that you can be blind to that knowledge.

I've written before about Testosterone Poisoning. I've identified this as a condition which all males of the human species have had to face at one time or another. I've also acknowledged that some of us suffer from it more than others.

When I crafted the idea of Testosterone Poisoning it was with the intention of making light of the situation I found myself faced with, trying to find some amount of good cheer in a quickly deepening emotional and mental depression. But one of the denizens of the alt.callahans newsgroup pointed out to me that I might have something there and proposed the idea of cultural testosterone.

I think that he may be onto something there, but I'm going to shelve that discussion for another time, once I've had a chance to work out a definition for and pathology of Cultural Testosterone Poisoning.

What I've been more concerned with lately is morale building.

I've found since I started taking that daily pill that my overall morale and outlook on life is markedly better than it was pre medication. It kind of grates on me somewhat that I had to turn to a drug to achieve this, but I have come to terms with the idea for one simple reason: I like who I am on the medication better than I like who I was when I wasn't on the medication.

So, not that I have this new found surge in my overall morale, how do I go about hanging onto it, or, even better, building on it?

Simple, look at all the ways in your life in which you are blessed, look at all the things in your life that make you feel good about things. Concentrate on those. The more you try to feel good about yourself the better you will feel.

So, in the hopes of inspiring a round table discussion, I'll begin with what raises my morale:

There is a small group of people who always make me feel cared for and appreciated, no matter what happens to be going on in my life. Originally there were Three, but the Three have since become Four, and the addition of the newest member of my personal Inner Circle is most welcome.

First and foremost there is Michelle. Michelle is the ultimate personification of the word Mom, a lovely young lass with a kind and compassionate heart. She always has a kind heart and a ready smile for the people she cares for, and can always be counted on to make time for you if you need it. She is my friend and confidante, my conscience, my reality check.

Michelle also has a Chocolate fetish, which I have taken great pleasure in feeding on occasion, especially when she insists that she needs to go on a diet. The expressions of mock outrage on her face as she sits across from me happily gulping down a chocolate bar can be quite entertaining.

The next member of the Four is Charlene. Char is the lead bartender most nights at the pub I've been frequenting off and on for the last decade or so. She has a quick wit and a ready smile, and makes no effort at all to hide who her favorite people are.

Since I started taking the Anti Depressants Char has imposed a moratorium on my tipping her on the grounds that tipping in excess of two hundred percent is far too much money for a guy who has to buy meds to be spending on a barmaid. All right, then, have it your way. Char has a chocolate fetish too. If I can't spoil her one way I'm going to spoil her another. So there.

I worked with Carly when I was working as the Pinsetter Mechanic in a bowling alley. She's one of the bar servers and would frequently be working in Bowling or in Billiards. Carly is a true beauty, and possesses the kindest heart I have ever encountered in a human being. It was she who blackballed the bar staff into getting to know me when they had no intention of giving me the time of day because I didn't work in their department. It was she who encouraged me to not only get to know the rest of the staff, but to get to know her as well.

She's a good friend, and I've come to care about her a great deal. There really isn't anything that I wouldn't do for her.

The last member of the Four, and the most recent addition, is Anna. Anna took it upon herself to adopt me as her Big Brother, and has taken her responsibilities as Little Sister quite seriously. When I was at my lowest she wouldn't leave my side, perhaps for fear that I was going to do something stupid or rash. Of course, I had no intention of doing any such thing, but when a cute curly brunette decides she feels the need to turn my shoulder into a pillow I am not going to say no.

Anna has a remarkable amount of Empathy, especially in someone so young. She sees the emotions of the people around her in colors which she assigns to specific emotions, and she loves her Big Brother a lot more now that he's not projecting all dark and murky.

So, there you have it, folks. These Four are the reason I am still alive, and the reason why I can think about building my Morale.

So, now here's the question. What builds up your Morale?

I eagerly await your answers.

The Responses to this Musing Begin Here ...

From HalfCat on alt.callahans:

I wouldn't say what so much as who.

Namely my sister, Angela.

No matter how bad my day. No matter what has happened, i.e. death in the family, laid off, (a wonderful phrase 'cause you just got screwed!), whatever. I can count on her for a dirty joke, bad pun, funny story, whatever, that will make me smile and feel better than before.

From TBird on alt.callahans:

In the early days of my divorce, I did things I hadn't been allowed to do. I cleaned and sanded my outdoor furniture.  I fixed things.  The feeling of accomplishment and "I CAN DO IT!" was wonderful!