Common Species
by Tom Murray
2001-01-14
Mr. Crow is on the common species list.
He once tried to enter the house of the prophet,
but he was not allowed in because a few
years ago he saved his ego from jumping over Memorial Bridge.
He also rescued his "hootch" and now
he can be seen talking to the cats and the kings.
He fell into a small box and has never been able to get back out.
So angry and disillusioned, he was experiencing facial tics when I told him
that I wouldn't be going to McDuck's with him at dinnertime.
But that is the way it is,
I am getting tired of going to fast food havens
with him when my only reward is a half-a-pack of fries.
I realize I should soon get a haircut
or my style will begin to look like his-retro '73.
It's not his work habits or his fewer hours or even his bark that bothers me,
it's his constant string of opinions...all about him.
Everything is about him, he never listens.
When I showed him the quotation by the
sixteenth century soothsayer Nostradamus,
about how the village idiot will take
over the most powerful office in the
world on the 12th month of the millenium,
ole Crow couldn't just take it in the
light-hearted way as it was supposed to be taken,
he had to give a flowing stream of
shit words about how Nostradamus was innaccurate with some of his predictions.
Not the point Shorty! I laughed when I read it.
And when I pointed out the full moon last night,
he has to tell me how much space junk is on it.
Mr. Crow you don't know how to look at things
in the moment without analysis,
and you don't know how to carry on a one to one conversation.
I should send you to the moon so you could analyize the space junk up there.