I want students to request my class.

I want students to request my class because I was just like them. I scored 5s on Advanced Placement tests in European History, American History, Language & Composition and Literature & Composition, but took pre-calculus three times before I finally passed. I took 11th-grade chemistry as a sophomore, but managed a 70 percent on the state exam. I learned to speak Italian with native flair, but failed health twice. I captained the ice hockey team and also played football, but was picked last for basketball in gym class. I grew up middle-class, but it felt like poverty at Long Island’s wealthiest district.

I want them to request my class because I intend to be the teacher without seeming like the teacher. I will lean on the six years I spent writing and editing for Newsday’s sports section. I have worked on two continents and seen 34 states and 13 countries. My award-winning writing has appeared in dozens of periodicals, including four of the most circulated newspapers in America. I reported every sport from the NFL to high school badminton. I covered New York City politics and the attacks of Sept. 11. My poetry won New York State’s highest honor. I am finishing my first novel, with a non-fiction project to follow.

I want student to request my class because their writing will be read with interest not red with ink. I believe in conferences, not marginal notes. I will chart the year-long improvement in their writing with a computer program I developed. They will not fear new genres or styles because I will write alongside them.

I want students to request my class because I will lie to them and bribe them. Once a week, I will include a false statement in my lessons to keep everyone alert. Students that identify the lie on Friday will receive extra credit. Similarly, if students catch me using grammar or spelling that does not adhere to standard English (unless I seek a specific rhetorical effect), speaking or writing a cliché or ignoring the lessons I teach, I will award extra credit. Students that do not know the answer on a short-answer quiz can receive partial credit if their answers are A) classroom-appropriate, B) related to the topic of the quiz and C) funny enough to make me laugh aloud. These methods worked in classes I took or observed.

Principally, I want students to request my class because they will learn like they never have before. We will perform the works we read. We will use WebQuests to extend learning beyond the 40 minutes in the classroom. We will put characters on trial. We will debate. We will interview experts. We will use literary theories to understand multiple perspectives. We will confront questions most teachers avoid. I want students to request my class, and never forget they were there.