| (Gandalf looks at a map of the Lonely Mountain, in Bilbo�s study) Bilbo: �I can make you some eggs if you li-- Ganda- Gandalf? Gandalf: �Just tea, thank you� Bilbo: �Oh, right. You don't mind if eat, do you?� Gandalf: �Oh no, not at all.� Female Voice: �Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins.� (bangs on door loudly) Bilbo: �I'm not at home! I've got to get away from these confounded relatives, hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moment's peace! I want to see mountains again, mountains, Gandalf. And then find somewhere quite where I can finish my book... Ooh, tea!� Gandalf: �So you mean to go through with your plan then?� Bilbo: �Yes, yes, it's all in hand. All the arrangements are made. (gets the tea, Gandalf takes the lid off for him). Bilbo: �Oh, thank you.� Gandalf: �Frodo suspects something.� Bilbo: � 'Course he does. He's a Baggins! Not some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle.� Gandalf: �You will tell him, won't you.� Bilbo: �Yes, yes.� Gandalf: �He's very fond of you.� Bilbo: �I know. He'd probably come with me if I asked him. I think in his heart, Frodo's still in love with the Shire. The woods, and the fields, little rivers. I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. (feels the Ring in his pocket) I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter, scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday.A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.� (It�s evening, and Bilbo and Gandalf are sitting on the top of a hill together, smoking pipe) Bilbo: �Old Toby, the finest weed in the Southfarthing.� (Bilbo blows a smoke ring, and Gandalf blows a ship to go through it) Bilbo: �Gandalf, my old friend, this will be a night to remember.� (fireworks go off and hobbits are dancing) Bilbo: �Hello, hello.� Frodo: �Go on, Sam, ask Rosie for a dance.� Sam: �Umm, I think I'll just have another ale.� Frodo: �Oh no you don't! Go on!� (Frodo pushes Sam towards Rosie and they dance). Bilbo: �So there I was, at the mercy of three monstrous trolls. And they were all arguing amongst themselves about how they were going to cook us. Whether it be turned on a spit, or whether they should sit on us one by one, and squash us, to jelly.� Bilbo: �And they spent so much time arguing, the weather to's and the why fore's that the sun's first light cracked over the top of the trees, and Poof!" Hobbit kids: (gasp) Bilbo: �And turned them all to stone!� (Gandalf takes some fireworks from the wagon. As he leaves, Merry and Pippin come out from behind the tent to steel some rockets.) Pippin: �Quickly!� (Pippin jumps in to the wagon) (Pippin takes out a cracker) Merry: �No, no, the big one, big one!� (they go inside the tent) Pippin: �It�s done.� Merry: �You're supposed to stick it in the ground.� (pushes it back to Pippin) ippin: �It is in the ground!� (Pushes it back to Merry, who pushes it back to Pippin again) Merry: �Outside!� Pippin: �It was your idea!� (The rocket goes off, and Merry and Pippin are thrown to the ground. The rocket lets out fireworks and turns into a big firey dragon) Frodo: �Bilbo, watch out for the dragon!� Bilbo: �Dragon? Nonsense, there hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years!� (The rocket goes off in to the distance, filling the sky with fireworks. Hobbits cheer) Merry: �That was good!� Pippin: �Let's get another one.� Gandalf: (grabs both by the ears.) �Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. I might have known.� (Merry and Pippin get to wash up the dishes) The hobbit crowd: �Speech! Speech, Bilbo! Speech!� Frodo: �Speech!� Bilbo: �My dear Bagginses and Boffins! Tooks and Brandybucks! Grubbs! Chubbs! Hornblowers! Bolgers! Bracegirdles! Proudfoots!" Proudfoot: �Proudfeet!� Bilbo: �Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday! Alas. Eleventy one years is far too short a time to live amongst such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. I er, I have things to do. (takes the Ring from his pocket) I've put this off far too long. I regret to announce this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye.� (Bilbo puts the Ring on and vanishes and then makes his way back to Bag End, still invisible) Gandalf: �I suppose you thing that was terribly clever.� Bilbo: �Oh, come on Gandalf, did you see their faces!� Gandalf: �There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly!� Bilbo: �It was just a bit of fun! ...Oh, you're probably right, as usual. You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you?� Gandalf: �Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.� Bilbo: �I'm leaving everything to him.� Gandalf: �What about this ring of yours, is that staying too?� Bilbo: �Yes, yes. It�s in an envelope over there on the mantlepiece. No, wait it's... here in my pocket.� (Takes ring out and fingers it) �Why isn't that, isn't that odd, now. Yet after all that, why not. Why shouldn't I keep it?� Gandalf: �I think you should leave the ring behind, Bilbo. Is that so hard?� Bilbo: �Well no... And yes. Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine! I found it! It came to me!� Gandalf: �There's no need to get angry.� Bilbo: �What if I'm angry, it's your fault! It's mine. My own. My precious.� Gandalf: �Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you.� (Bilbo gets angry) |