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| 11/20/01 HELLO ALL... IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO UPDATE MY JOURNAL. A LOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN MY LIFE SINCE MY LAST POSTING. WELL, I DID SEE MY NEW DOCTOR AND SHE WAS VERY UNDERSTANDING AND COOPERATIVE. SHE GAVE ME THAT REFERRAL THAT I NEEDED TO SEE THE BARIATRIC DOCTOR (DR. COWAN OF MEMPHIS). I WAS SO PLEASED WITH HER...BUT I WAS ILL WITH THIS DEPRESSION MORE THAN I REALIZED. I ENDED UP HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN AND SPEND A WEEK IN THE HOSPITAL. I GOT THE HELP THAT I NEEDED AND THE MEDICATION THAT I NEEDED AS WELL. I AM IN THERAPY ALSO AND I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER. I STILL HAVE ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS AT TIMES, BUT THEY ARE |
| GETTING BETTER. I HAVE LEARNED A LOT AND I DON'T EVER WANT TO BE SICK LIKE THAT AGAIN. I WASN'T AWARE THAT DEPRESSION COULD GET YOU DOWN LIKE THAT AND STRESS ALSO. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I WAS A STRONG PERSON, ABLE TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES MY WAY BUT I REALIZED THAT I WASN'T. ON THE DAY THAT I HAD MY BREAKDOWN, I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT JUST TAKING EVERY PILL THAT I HAD AND JUST LAYING DOWN...BUT FOR SOME REASON, MY SISTER CAME UP TO SIT WITH ME AND SHE SAVED ME THAT NIGHT, HER AND MY COUSIN. THE CALLED 911 AND I WAS ABLE TO GET THE HELP I NEEDED. I WENT TO MY CONSULTATION AND THEY SCHEDULED MY SLEEP STUDY AND PYSCH EVALUATION FOR ME. I FOUND OUT THAT I DO HAVE SLEEP APNEA AND THE PROBLEM WITH MY LEGS CONSTANTLY MOVING. I WAS ALSO CLEARED BY THE PYCHIATRIST FOR THE SURGERY. ON LAST TUESDAY, THE NURSE TOLD THE SHE HAD JUST FAXED THE PAPERS OVER TO MY INSURANCE COMPANY. I CALLED THE INSURANCE COMPANY ON THURSDAY AND THEY STATED THAT IT WAS UNDER REVIEW...SO WHAT I DID WAS JUST PRAYED ABOUT IT AND LEFT IT IN GOD'S HANDS AND I TOLD MY FAMILY THAT IF IT'S MEANT FOR ME TO HAVE THE SURGERY, GOD WILL BLESS ME WITH AN APPROVAL AND IF I GOT DENIED, I WASN'T GOING TO APPEAL BECAUSE IT MUST WASN'T MEANT FOR ME TO HAVE THE SURGERY. YESTERDAY, I GOT A CALL DR COWAN'S NURSE AND GUESS WHAT........ |
| ******I WAS APPROVED...SURGERY DATE:JANUARY 15, 2002********** |
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| WHEN SHE TOLD ME THAT GREAT NEWS....I JUST STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. I WAS TOLD THAT IT WOULD TAKE MONTHS BEFORE I WOULD KNOW ANYTHING, I WAS TOLD THAT MY INSURANCE WOULD NOT APPROVE THE SURGERY, AND I JUST WAS EXPECTING THEM TO DENY ME. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, THEY FOUND IT MEDICALLY NECESSARY AND APPROVED ME WITHIN 3 DAYS. THE NURSE TOLD ME THAT I WAS THE FIRST TO CRY OVER AN APPROVAL, BUT LIKE I TOLD HER...."THESE TEARS ARE TEARS OF JOY." I CALLED MY MOM AND MY SISTER, AND THEY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER. BUT THEY ARE STILL SUPPORTIVE OF MY DECISION. I TEASED MY MOM ABOUT BEING TO RAID HER CLOSET NEXT YEAR LOL....WITH EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THESE LAST PAST MONTHS, THAT NEWS JUST BRIGHTEN MY DAY AND UPLIFTED MY SPIRIT AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT PRAYED FOR ME AND SUPPORTED ME, BUT MOST OF ALL....I THANK GOD FOR THIS BLESSING. WELL THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY RIGHT NOW. I WILL BE UPDATING AFTER I GO FOR MY SCOPE. I ALSO AM PRAYING THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO WING MYSELF OFF OF THESE CIGARETTES, I BOUGHT MY LAST PACK YESTERDAY, AND I WILL BE GETTING A PATCH TO HELP ME. TAATAA FOR NOW. |
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