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EVERY SINCE I REMEMBER, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BIG GIRL. I CAN REMEMBER THE "PRETTY PLUS" BACK YEARS AGO. THINKING BACK ON IT NOW, REALIZING THAT I WAS WEARING A 14 IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL, I DIDNT REALIZE THAT MY WEIGHT WOULD HAVE BECOME A PROBLEM FOR ME THIS LATE IN MY LIFE. I WAS ALWAYS PUT MY WEIGHT OFF AND TOLD MYSELF THAT "I'M JUST THICK, BIG BONED.'' AS I GOT OLDER, I STARTED TO REALIZE THAT I NEED TO TRY TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT. THAT'S WHEN THE DIETING STARTED, ONE AFTER ANOTHER. NOTHING EVER REALLY GIVING ME THAT SATISFACTION THAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, AND I STARTED THIS "BATTLE OF THE BULGE" ABOUT 10 YEARS
AGO. SLIMFAST WAS GOOD, I LOST 20LBS, BUT GAINED 30LBS BACK, I LOVED THAT PHEN-FEN DIET PILL, I WAS LOSING THE WEIGHT...I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT NEW CLOTHES AND WAS HAPPY. BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT DIET PILL. ANOTHER DISSAPPOINTMENT FOR ME. OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE TRIED ALL TYPES OF DIET PILLS AND LOW-FAT DIETS, SOME I CANT EVEN REMEMBER AND NOTHING HAS WORKED FOR ME. THE LAST DIET PILL THAT I WAS ON WAS "STACKER 2 FAT BURNERS" AND DUE TO MY HYPERTENSION, I HAD TO STOP TAKING THOSE BECAUSE THEY RAISED MY BLOOD PRESSURE TOO HIGH. NOW AT 28 YEARS OLD AND 3 KIDS LATER, IM AT MY HIGHEST AT 255LBS AND I AM TOTALLY DEPRESSED. WHEN I STARTED MY RESEARCH ON BARIATRIC SURGERY, I COULDNT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS SEEING. TO SOME PEOPLE, IT MAY EXTREME TO HAVE A SURGERY TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT FOR US WHO HAVE TRIED SO MANY METHODS, IT'S NOT. ITS THE SOLUTION FOR A LIFE LONG ILLNESS...MORBID OBESITY. BEING OVERWEIGHT CAUSES HEALTH PROBLEMS AND I HAVE MY SHARE OF PROBLEMS DUE TO MY OBESITY....

JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW, I AM REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF BECAUSE NEVER HAVE I EVER DISCUSSED MY WEIGHT OR ANY OF THE PROBLEMS THAT'S CAUSED BY ME BEING OVERWEIGHT. I AM, WELL I USED TO BE SO EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT, SO EMBARRASSED THAT I WOULDNT EVEN DISCUSS MY PROBLEMS WITH MY DOCTOR. THANKS TO ALL THE CARING PEOPLE THAT I HAVE MET ONLINE, I HAVE LEARNED TO NOT FEEL SO EMBARRASSED DISCUSSING MY WEIGHT. BEING OVERWEIGHT HAS BROUGHT MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS TO ME. I HAVE HYPERTENSION, DEPRESSION, LOWER BACK PAIN, KNEE, ANKLE, AND FEET PAIN, SWELLING IN MY HANDS AND MY FEET ALSO. I ALSO BELIEVE THAT I SUFFER FROM SLEEP APNEA DUE TO THOSE PROBLEMS ALSO (HAVENT BEEN DIAGNOSED YET)....IT'S SCARY WAKING UP WITH YOUR HEART POUNDING AND RACING, GASPING FOR AIR. MOST NIGHTS, I HAVE TO SLEEP SITTING UP JUST SO I CAN BREATH PROPERLY. IT'S NOT FUM FEELING LIKE THIS AT ALL AND IM READY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.....

I WAS KIND OF SCARED TO TALK ABOUT HAVING THIS TYPE OF SURGERY WITH MY FAMILY, I WAS AFRAID OF WHAT THEY WOULD THINK. TO MY SURPRISE, MY MOM WAS LIKE "GO FOR IT.". THAT'S ALL I NEED TO HEAR TO JUST CONFIRM MY DECISION TO HAVE THIS SURGERY....

IM AT THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY, PRE-OP AS THEY CALL IT. I WENT TO THE DOCTOR (MY FIRST DOCTOR) TO DISCUSS MY WEIGHT AND FIND OUT IF I CAN GET A REFERRAL TO SEE THE SURGEON. WELL HE REFUSED TO GIVE ME ONE, STATING THAT HE FELT THAT I WASNT BIG ENOUGH AND DISABLED...HE STATED THAT I WILL BE PRACTICALLY STARVING MYSELF AND IF I WANTED TO PERSUE THE MATTER, I WILL JUST HAVE TO GET MYSELF ANOTHER DOCTOR. OFCOURSE, I WAS CRUSHED, I BECAME EVEN MORE DEPRESSED. SURELY, YOU THINK THAT YOUR DOCTOR WOULD UNDERSTAND AND HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT TE WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, ATLEAST RESPECT MY DECISION TO DOING SOMETHING ABOUT MY WEIGHT. AFTER THAT DOCTOR'S VISIT IN MAY, I SUFFERED AN ANXIETY ATTACK ON THE WAY HOME, AND I HAD BECOME MORE DEPRESSED. I ATE MORE AND SMOKED MORE...YES, IM A SMOKER AS WELL. THAT'S ANOTHER HURDLE I MUST JUMP OVER SOON.

JUNE 22, 2001
HELLO ALL...
WENT BACK TO THE DOCTOR TODAY. GOT TEST RESULTS BACK AND EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. CHOLESTEROL LEVEL IS NORMAL, THYROID IS FINE AND GLUCOSE TEST CAME BACK OK TOO. MY DOCTOR TOLD ME ABOUT MERIDIAN AND XENECAL BUT AFTER ALL THE MONEY I HAVE SPENT OUT OVER THE YEARS, I DONT THINK I WONT TO SPEND ANYMORE MONEY WITH A TEMPORARY WEIGHT LOSS METHOD. GOOD THING OUT OF THIS VISIT THOUGH, IS THAT IT'S MY LAST VISIT WITH HIM. I WILL BE SEEING MY NEW DOCTOR ON 07/06/01 TO DISCUSS THE WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY AND IM PRAYING THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE. UNTIL THEN, EVERYONE BE BLESSED.

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