Title: Serrated Edge
Author: Michelle
Pairing: Joel/Mike
Genre:
Rating: R
Notes: Done for the 2007 Secret Santa contest. Disclaimer: Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its characters and contents are copyright Joel Hodgson and Best Brains, Inc. No money is being made off the use of these characters. Please don�t sue; I�ve become quite attached to the box of pennies on my dresser.

---

Floating in Deep Space sure got boring sometimes. Mike came to realize that once he and the �bots went for a week floating around with nothing happening. Mike had always thought Deep Space would be more action-packed, with things like alien spaceships, black holes, explosions, fiery meteors�

CRASH!!!

The impact threw Mike across his bed. He dropped the magazine he was holding and pushed himself back up. As he sat up on the bed, the SOL began to tilt to one side.

"What happened?!" Mike screamed as he ran out of his room and to the bridge. "Cambot, get me Rocket #9!"

The screen flickered to life, but there was nothing but static. Furniture began sliding across the floor as the ship tilted even further. Mike grabbed onto the bridge to avoid sliding with the furniture. Servo flew past Mike�s head and crashed into a pile of boxes that once held Cool Ranch Doritos.

"You okay?" Mike called out. "Any idea what happened?"

"I didn�t see that asteroid coming until the last minute!" Gypsy yelled from the engine room. "It took out our thrusters, so we can�t stay airborne for much longer. I�m gonna make an emergency landing on the nearest planet. Everyone hold onto something!"

"I can�t really�" Servo began. He stopped when the SOL titled even further and began speeding downward. Everything shook violently, and Mike felt an intense pressure against his limbs for what seemed like eternity until the ship landed with a hollow thump. The impact shook everything one more time before Mike let go of the bridge.

Mike crawled on his hands and knees to the scattered boxes of Doritos. Servo grunted and shook a box until he managed to push it off.

"You okay?" Mike asked him. He got back up onto his feet.

"Yeah." Servo followed Mike to the engine room. Cambot, Crow, and Gypsy were standing around a small generator. The generator�s door was open, and inside were some shattered turquoise stones.

"Wonderful," Gypsy muttered. "There goes our main power source."

"Can�t we just get some more of those stones?" Mike inquired.

"No, it�s one big stone," Gypsy replied. "It�s called mystrile. Cambot and I can fix the damage from the asteroid and the landing, but we�ll need a mystrile stone to get the SOL back up and running."

"That�s great and all, but how are we gonna get it?" Crow asked.

"I�ve taken care of that already," Gypsy stated as she moved towards another control panel. "I decided to land on this planet as opposed to the three others nearby because not only does this planet have oxygen, it also has a small cave with mystrile in it." Gypsy moved her head forward and pushed a large red button on the panel. A map then lit up on a nearby screen.

"The bone marks where we are now," she continued. �That green diamond marks where the mystrile is. Judging by the map, it�s about a half-mile to the southwest of here. It should be easy to get."

�It might be dangerous on this planet, though," Mike said. �Are there aliens or traps?"

�I don�t know, but you may be right," Gypsy said. �That�s why I think Mike should go by himself. We�ll stay here and repair the ship. If something goes wrong, get back here right away."

�Okay." Mike began looking around the control room. �Do we have any weapons around here.

Crow paused. �Well�we still have those boxes of Hamdingers. I suppose you could throw them at things."

�That�s not really what I had in mind."

Cambot picked up a tool belt and slung it around his lens. He carried the tool belt to Mike.

�Thanks, Cambot." Mike scanned the contents of the tool belt, hoping for something useful. Screwdriver, wrench, hammer, measuring tape�and a switchblade?

Mike pulled the switchblade out of the tool belt. �What�s this doing here?"

�Hey, I was looking for that!" Servo cried out.

�I don�t even want to know," Mike said. �I�ll take this, though. It�s better than nothing."

�If you use the hole behind the Hamdinger boxes, you can get out," Gypsy told Mike. �We used to have an escape pod there. Just grab the mystrile and come back as soon as you can."

---

The planet�s atmosphere and terrain were much like what Mike remembered from Earth. The sky was blue and cloudless, and the ground and mountains were a light brown color. After walking for a few minutes, he saw a small cave in the distance. It had to be the one Gypsy had referred to.

Gingerly, Mike stepped into the cave. The area outside had looked like something from his home planet, but the inside of the cave looked unearthly. The dirt bed below him was purple, and the rocks of the cave were a light green. Mike thought briefly of a box of Magic Rocks he had once owned before coming to a large turquoise stone sitting on top of a large purple mound of dirt.

It had to be the mystrile. All he had to do was grab it and go. Mike reached out for the mystrile and put his hand down�on someone else�s hand? He looked up to see another man on the other side of the dirt mound. He had seen this man before. Was it�

�Joel?" Mike asked. The man recoiled at the sound of his name. �So, it�s you. I took your place, remember?"

�Yeah," Joel replied coolly.

�Well, I�ll just be taking this so�"

�No, this comes with me." Joel tightened his grip on the mystrile. �Besides, my hand was on it first."

Mike scowled. �Yeah, well, I�m standing closer to it."

While keeping his right hand on the mystrile, Joel shoved Mike away from the dirt mound with his left hand. �Not anymore."

�Hey!" Mike lunged forward and tried to grab the stone out of Joel�s hands. When he missed, he wrapped his arms around Joel�s chest and pulled him back.

�What are you doing?!" Joel screamed.

�We crash-landed here. I need that stone."

�Yeah, well, I need it too," Joel shot back. He elbowed Mike in the chest, sending Mike backwards a few steps. �You�re not the only person stranded here."

�You�re right, I�m not," Mike said as he reached for the switchblade. �So are the �bots. You created them, right? Do you want to see us all die? Or are you just going to abandon them like you did before?"

Joel elbowed Mike in the chest again, making Mike lose his grip. He spun around, took his right hand off the mystrile, and punched Mike in the jaw.

�I didn�t abandon them!" Joel shrieked. �They helped me escape! They wanted me to. How do I know you�re not abandoning them right now? I mean, they�re not with you, are they?"

Mike clutched his throbbing jaw tightly in one hand. He grabbed his switchblade in the other. �No, they�re waiting for me to come back with the mystrile. I can�t disappoint them." With that, Mike lunged forward and jammed the knife�s blade into Joel�s thigh. He pressed hard, but the denim of Joel�s jeans made it hard for Mike to do much damage.

All of a sudden, a sharp pain shot through Mike�s entire being. He felt his limbs go numb before he dropped the switchblade and fell to the ground.

�Guess what?" Joel said in a mocking tone. �I�m armed, too." He waved the stun gun in the air before turning around and beginning to stagger away.

Mike remained sprawled on the ground, unable to move. However, he had done enough damage that Joel couldn�t walk properly. He commanded his limbs to work, trying his damndest to do something, so that Joel wouldn�t leave with the mystrile. Finally, Mike was able to extend his left arm and grab Joel�s left ankle. He clutched the limb tightly, pulling back as hard as he could.

Joel gasped in shock as he fell to the ground. The mystrile rolled out of his grip. He sprung forward and grabbed Mike�s wrists, pinning him to the ground before throwing his weight on him.

Mike frowned. Even if Joel could overpower him physically, maybe he could get him emotionally. What he had said earlier did have an effect.

�The Mads told me everything about you," Mike said. �About you working for them, about why they fired you off into space�"

�Yeah, so?"

Mike smiled as he thought of something else. �I know you and Forrester had a history."

Joel recoiled. �What?"

�He told me you were an insatiable little whore."

Joel pressed down harder on Mike, lowering himself until he was inches from Mike�s face. Mike had counted on his words having an effect�not on any of them being true.

Joel grinned. �How badly do you want that stone?"

�Very badly."

�Prove it."

Mike lunged upwards as much as he could under the restraint and roughly kissed Joel. Joel returned the kiss just as roughly before moving down and biting Mike�s neck, all the while pressing down harder on Mike�s wrists. Mike felt the pain from the branding and writhed underneath the confinement.

Joel kept one hand pressed down on Mike�s wrists as he reached away with the other arm. A few seconds later, Joel had the switchblade in his hand, and sliced away Mike�s shirt with it. He then ran the blade over Mike�s skin, not enough to hurt him, but enough to make Mike shudder with every movement of his hand. Joel drew the blade close to Mike�s left nipple, and then retracted it. He continued the process, drawing the blade closer to the nipple each time. The nipple hardened at the attention.

Mike looked up at Joel in anxious anticipation. Joel looked down at him with steely eyes and a hardened resolve, until finally, he dropped the blade and released Mike�s wrists.

�We�ll finish this later," Joel said. �I�ll come with you."

�What?!" Mike cried in shock. �But why?"

�If I�m to believe what you say, then the �bots are still on the SOL and I can see them again," Joel replied. �Besides, I�m not done with you yet."

�Not�done?" Mike parroted back, pulling the remnants of his shirt over his chest. He tried to ignore the uncomfortable arousal pressing against his pants.

�You don�t get to come until I say you can," Joel said sternly. �Do you understand?"

Mike nodded weakly. He felt both intimidated and aroused by what Joel might have planned for him.

�Good." Joel pulled himself off Mike and grabbed the mystrile. He helped Mike up off the ground. �Let�s go."

They walked out of the cave, side-by-side, equal in their marooned state but authoritatively separated by the serrated edge of a switchblade.

THE END