Title: Deus ex Machina
Author: Raynebowe
Rating: PG, I guess...
Disclaimer: Don't own nuffin. Belongs to people much more talented than I. Anniversary belongs to The Cure and uber sessy Robert Smith (the lead singer, not the Minnesota Viking).
Notes: Oh nos! Songfic!
Notes Two (Electric Boogaloo): I listened to this song last night and a plot bunny bit the hell outta me. O.o;
Notes 3: Set 512, just after Mike is sent up, that night.
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He listened as Frank shuffled off to his bedroom, nattering on excitedly about their new test subject.
Forrester was less than thrilled. He sighed as Frank's bedroom door slammed shut and got up from his cluttered desk. He shuffled to his own room, turning off lights as he went, plunging Deep 13 into suffocating darkness only broken by uncomfortable green glows. He was used to it, but he was sure Frank had a nightlight.
He shut and locked his door behind him and took off his goofy green glasses. He didn't really need them, but they went really well with his labcoat. Joel enjoyed them. He cringed remembering that it was Joel who picked them out one afternoon, five years ago, giggling that it would give him some mad scientist flair. Forrester growled and slapped them roughly on his bedside table. 'Right. Time to be miserable.' he thought.
He crouched to look under his bed. Dust bunnies, socks...more dust bunnies...
He sneezed and reached under, grabbing hold of a shoebox and pulling it out slowly so as not to disturb Mr. and Mrs. Dust Bunny and their dusty brood. He gently wiped the dust from the box top.
JOEL
it read in large black permanent marker on the top. The letters were thick and jagged. He sighed again and opened the box.
A year ago today we stood / Above this same awakening world / I held you... / You never wanted me to know. / Another year ago today / Before this same awakening world / I held you... / I never meant to let you go. / There was a moment / There always is / When time stood still / And always was this... / One endless moment / You turn in pain / And I always let you go / Over and over again... /
He put the box top aside and reverently picked up the first picture.
It was of himself and Joel at some sort of science convention, smiling like idiots at the camera. He remembered Larry chirping "Say cheese, you lovebirds!" and Joel snickering as Forrester threatened to shove the camera so far up Larry's hinder that every time he hiccuped, you'd see a flash. Joel had lost it at the visual and it was a good two minutes before Larry could take the picture.
He always liked making Joel laugh.
He flipped the picture over. 'CLAY & JOEL AT INVENTION EXPO '88'. He sneered and sat the picture in the boxtop, picking another up at the same time.
He nearly dropped the photo. It was the two of them, sharing illicit smooches, and getting their picture taken unbeknowest to them by Larry. He flipped it over to read the back.
'LARRY NEEDED 12 STITCHES. JOEL DIDN'T SPEAK TO ME FOR TWO DAYS; SAID I WAS TOO HARD ON HIM.'
He snickered. 'Not hard enough.'
A year ago tonight we lay / Below this same remembering sky / I kissed you... / You never wanted me to know. Another year ago tonight / Behind this same remembering sky / I kissed you... / I never meant to let you go. / Another moment / There always is / As time stood still / And always is this... / One endless moment / You tell me all / And I hold you and I kiss you / And I never let you go/
He put aside a few momentos: ticket stubs, locks of hair, letters, before picking up the next picture.
He wasn't in it, as he was taking the picture. Joel was smiling that small smile he reserved just for him, and he was shyly waving at the camera. He turned the picture over.
'Joel Robinson, December 1988'
He picked up another. Joel was forcing a smile on his face, not really looking at the camera. Forrester frowned, not really remembering why Joel didn't want to smile. He looked at the back.
'J. January 1989'
He picked up another. This time Joel wasn't smiling at all. Joel wasn't even looking at the camera. A purple bruise had blossomed on the right side of his face. It looked like the picture was taken without Joel noticing.
'Joel, March 1989 --- I put that there.'
His stomach lurched. He remembered why Joel stopped being so happy with him during those few months before...
'Before he called it quits. Before I sent him to space.'
Sickened, he picked up another picture, not necessarily the last as there were many more 'before' time picutes, but it was the last one he would look at. This one was taken at a distance. Joel was mopping. It looked awkward for the cast on his left arm, but he looked like he was managing. He turned the picture over.
'JOEL ROBINSON, NOVEMBER 1989'
It was taken a week before he sent Joel up. Right after Forrester pushed him down the stairs at his mother's house. Right after Joel broke up with him.
Forrester put the box away.
He wouldn't have done what he did if he could do it again. He turned out the light. He wished he had a deus ex machina to take away what he did. He didn't think he could find it in a Hamdinger box.
I never let you go...
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