You Know You're Obsessed When...

Yes, you knew it was coming...most of these are from my personal experiences...fun. Have any ideas, submit them.
New ones are put at the bottom.

1. You rent the DVD of the first movie, put it on your computer, take the shot of Rickman's palm, then learn how to read palms.
2. You read a fanfic which involves Snape suffering and you cry
3. You write a fanfic about Snape being your father and you cry
4. You leave any website which even MENTIONS the word "slash"
5. You make his character the basis of your paper in English
   about the literary analysis of a character
6. You talk to your "inner Snape"
7. You wish that wearing robes was in fashion
8. You put yourself and Snape in fanfics playing odd Muggle games- I've done Monopoly and Dungeons and Dragons.
9. You scour the web, looking for a Hogwarts RPG that needs a S.Snape
10. If you can't find one, you make sure that your character is RELATED to Snape
11. If they won't let you do that, you make sure your character is in Slytherin and take on all of his characteristics
12. Or you set yourself up as the Potions Teacher, head of Slytherin, with all of his characteristics
13. And if they even won't let you do THAT, (besides writing an angry email to them, and getting even), you RP as a disgruntled member of the House who hates the house and roots for Slytherin.
14. You try to apply Nietzsche to his character (Hey- Master morality!)
15. And you succeed.
16. You walk around with a sign that says "I'm Slytherin and Proud of it!"
17. You find so many different ways of classifying his personality, including temperaments, and the Meyers-Brigg personality temperament test(He's an ISTJ)
18. You know what I mean by the above.
19. Everyone leaves when you say the word "Snape" (I'm lucky to have wonderful friends who finds my analysis cool)
20. You absolutely HATE everyone who looks like Harry Potter (bad for me, my brother is a spitting image!)
21. You have a pin that says "Snape for Prez!" or "I like Snape! (like "I like Ike")
22. You start looking at the similarities between all of your favorite literary characters and find they are really aimilar....(Jekyll and Hyde, Phantom of the Opera, Javert, Edmund Dantes...)...to Snape.
23. You make, copy, contribute, complete lists such as this one.
24. You see the irony in the fact that one of the people Snape hates is Sirius Black, yet that's the color of his wardrobe
25. You also see the thematic implications in the novel of the above.
26. You perform one of Snape's monologues for your theatre class, and you scare everyone (true story!)
27. You write a play in which a Chemistry teacher has some serious issues, and causes fear in the students, but only due to a tragic incident...
28. You then perform a monologue from THAT play, and you scare everyone
29. You keep dreaming that Snape should come in and teach your classes for a day- just to put the idiots of the class in line!
30. You shudder and hide your eyes in horror when (and if) you find a Lockhart site (I found a few....had nightmares)
31. You get a sickening realization that the "fan" who JKR alludes to dying in the 5th book could be Snape...(either him or Mafloy, and really, his death had been predicted.)
32. You stomache literally aches when you think of the above
33. As you walk to class, you find yourself running all of Snape's conversations in your head (not just the dialogue).
34. You also manage to picture said conversations in your head while walking to class (and you don't hit anything)
35. The very fact that you do the above two makes you smile - and people wonder why you walk around with such a goofy look on your face.
36. You sign other's yearbooks as "Professor S. Snape" and don't realize your mistake until later.
37. You wonder - "WWSD?" (What Would Snape Do?)
38. When your friends tell you people don't like you, tend to shy away from you, and are afraid to work with you because you demand too much, and they are rather afraid of not meeting your demands, your first response is "Yes!
    I'm getting closer!" (to becoming Snape).
39. After a rather exausting day, you look longingly at the Snape figure on your desk, sigh heavily, and intone "They don't understand us, Snape"
40. You find it hard to even look your Snape figure in the eye
41. You comtemplate a CD with songs that you think Snape could relate to.
42. You speak using alliteration and impressive pauses...
43. While watching THE MATRIX, you can't help but picture Snape in that cool cassock, kicking Agent ass, and wearing those ever-cool shades. (Oh, and toting those guns).
44. Sometimes, while at school, you look in the bathroom mirror and whisper, "Oh, Snape. Get me out of here."
45. And now that school is out for the summer, you look in the mirror and whisper, "Oh Snape. Get me out of here."
46. You find the following situation hilarious:
    (In the Hogwarts Staffroom)
    SNAPE (sitting in a chair with a cup of coffee): So, HOW many times has
    Slytherin won the Quidditch Cup? Has it been 4 or 5 times?
    MCGONAGALL: 6, Severus.
    SNAPE: Oh, yes. I keep forgetting. (He sips his coffee)
    (Minerva gives him a resentful look)
47. You write songs about him using popular song melodies.
48. You find you forget the real words to the song- that is, you can only sing your words to the song. ["I Heard it through the Grapevine" has permenately become "I Heard Severus Snape Whine"]
49. You become self-conscious of dancing in front of your Snape figure, even though its in the privacy of your room- and its your favorite music- and no one else is awake in the house
50. You can't read those cheap romance novels anymore because you keep replacing the hot guy with Snape- and it freaks you out.
51. You start reading those cheap romance novels because you replace the hot guy with Snape- and you like it.
52. (MATT) You have bought the official Snape footie pajamas with matching robe and greasy wig
53. You spend your life's savings on buying Rickman's wig from the movie.
54. And you wear the wig- constantly.
55. (MATT) Clark Kent doesn't become Superman- OHHHHNOOOO- he becomes SNAPEMAN!
56. If you know another language, you write annoying fanfics in which Snape also speaks that language.
57. Or, you write entire fanfics in that language.
58. You translate Snape's parts into another language.
59. You do your Extended Essay on Snape's character and what it contributes to the HP series.(or you try to)
60. You get ideas for Fanfics from talkshows
61. You read a fanfic in which Snape dies, and you cry
62. You don't mind copying long pages of Snape scenes from the books
63. EVERY TIME you play a video game which requires you to name someone- or something- you use Snape. It doesn't matter if it's the main character, an army command base, or a rollercoaster...(magic items are a favorite of mine)
64. The paper that you are writing for your website on the literary purpose of Snape's character is now your term paper for English class....
65. You cringe inwardly and almost correct when your teacher(who has never read the series) calls Snape "Snipe."
66. Your coolest teacher is now the person who has both read and analyzed the HP series. (and who agrees with your choice of an English essay titled Snape as the Antihero)
67. You fantasize over buying black wigs and trying to see if people believe that it's your real hair.
68. You wish that on fighting games (such as Street Fighter), that you could fight Snape as a secret character.
69. You actually send letters of protest to Capcom voicing your 'concerns.'
70. You realize that if there was a fire in your house, the only thing you would save is your Snape action figure.
71. While talking about the idea of 'irony' in English class, you suddenly get an idea of an article for your website on the paradoxical characteristics of Snape's character. (You consequently run home and write it, neglecting all other homework.)
72. When you see a copy of the 5th book, you cannot hesitate to get it, find the "Fools who wear their hearts" speech (you find it by touch alone), and you caress it lovingly with your fingers.
73. This also applies for the "foolish wand-waving" speech in the 1st and the "Shrieking Shack" incident in the 3rd.
74. Your heart almost leaps out of your chest while waiting for the morning show to end their story on upcoming movies--on the slim chance they'll do a story on the PoA movie and on the even slimmer chance you'll see a picture of Rickman as Snape.
75. You love your teachers even more because you find out your Theory of Knowledge teacher, English teacher, AND theatre teacher all love Harry Potter!
76. You beg your parents to rent Die Hard. After that, you beg them to rent Sense and Sensibility, Galaxy Quest, Dogma....(no wait. This is a sign that you're a Rickmaniac.)
77. You find a French word, "ploucs" which means ugly, lanky, 'loser' with no style and taste, and immediately think Snape (when he was a teenager).
78. You spend one class period composing a poem using the image "like a plant kept in the dark"
79. If Snape ran for President of the United States, you would vote for him.
80. Free time! Ha! You spend your free time adapting the musical "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" to "Severus Snape: The Potions Master of Hogwarts"
81. You are heard to exclaim at a party, "SNAPE DOES NOT HAVE A BIG NOSE!"
82. You use what little computer graphic skills you have to make multitudes of wallpaper, web banners, and icons in a Snape-theme.
83. You call him 'our Snape'
84. You laugh at websites that say 'You're Obsessed When..." because you've thought of much more original ways to show your obsession.
85. You do an improv skit in theatre: your problem? Snape wants your blood because of some bad thing you said about him on your website. (hahaha - sucks to be you)
86. Your teachers want to read your Snape fanfiction.
87. You copy and post his monologues, sayings, ect. all over your room, covering the walls with Snape-isms.
88. These same Snape-isms transcend to schoolbooks, folders and binders.
89. They also make their way into your everyday speech and writing assignments.
90. You find among your Chemistry papers Snape fanfiction.
91. You don't take Chemistry, you take Potions -- and your friends know it.
92. You forgive your former math teacher that he lowered your GPA because he showed you the Harry
    Potter PoA trailer when it came out on the internet -- during school.
93. The majority of your Snape discussion occurs in Chemistry -- while doing experiments.
94. While geting dressed for somewhere nice (date, dinner, play) you find yourself thinking
    "Would Snape like this?" as you add accessories and do your hair.
95. The image of Snape in that hat (from the PoA trailer) has made you laugh for days.
96. You have had the following conversation:
    FRIEND: I like Snape because Alan Rickman plays him.
    YOU: I like Alan Rickman because he plays Snape.
97. The second the PoA trailer came out, you eagerly seek the pictures of Snape and now have multitudes of Snape banners, pics, icons, AIM stuff, desktops, ect...
    (I have one on mine -- when he finds Harry seaking to Hogsmeade illegally. I added a quote from the book)
98. You buy ad space in the paper about your feelings for Snape.
    (I did this!)
    .
99. If anyone asks you what religion you are, you state "I'm a Snapeist"
100. Every time you hear a Linkin Park song, you think of Snape. (Wonder why?)
101. When someone who's known you for years finds out you like Snape, they can't believe it. You then smile mysteriously. (true story!)
102. When talking to someone (or, in class) who is skilled, knowledgable, with such a fluidity and you know you are
     among greatness....you start seeing your version of Snape transposed over the person's image. Scary.
103. You greet your Snape doll\action figure\posters\shrine whenever you come home from work\school.
104. You attend Snape-ist Anonymous meetings. (Hello, my name is Ellyndia, and I'm a Snape-a-holic. OTHERS: Hello, Ellyndia.).
105. You use the term 'Snape-a-holic' to describe yourself.
106. You get a radio station to dedicate a song to Severus Snape.(haven't done this yet -- I'm working on it)
107. You have, in your copy of the first book, drawn hearts around the words "...was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin."
108. You have fun imagining Snape being a puppet (as in being knocked out in the third book).
     DUMBLEDORE: You..look a little limp, Severus.
     SIRIUS: *badly imitating Snape's voice* No, Headmaster. I'm fine. See?
     *makes Snape 'dance', flipping and flopping around* Lalala....see?
     DUMBLEDORE: I think you've been working too hard.
109. You shamelessly use lines from movies Rickman has been in in your Snape fanfics.
110. You have a violent reaction (shuddering, an exclaimation of 'Oh My God!', or a tightening of the stomach) when you see a doctored photo of Snape kissing Harry. (This just says you're a Canon Snapeist)
111. Addendum to #84: You call him 'My Snape'
112. Your family starts asking you 'Are you mad?' whenever you bring up anything to do with Snape. They also start looking into sanitoriums.
113. You talk to your Snape figure sitting on your desk, as if it were really him.
114. You dye your hair green and black, and cut your hair short.
115. You have created desktop pictures (more than 1) based exclusively on your results from internet quizzes.
116. You use papers you have written about Snape for college admissions\scholarships.
117. You use fanfics for 'creative writing' scholarships.
118. Two Words: Chibi!Snape.
119. You bet you can balance the Harry Potter books (all 5, harcover) on your head for 50 cents.This is your idea of fun. (I lost the bet, btw).
120. You name your subconscious 'Snape' (Thank my theatre teacher for this one.)
121. Your prom colors are in a 'Slytherin-theme' (True!) And your peers resent it. (They're just a bunch of Gryffindors).
122. You use fanfictions (only slightly modified) for contributions to literary magazines.
123. You have had the following conversation:
     OTHER, NON SLYTHERIN TYPE: (insultingly) You Slytherin.
     YOU: (proudly) You're damn right I am.
124. You like Tony Goldmark's song "Sirius Black" [which is a real parody song recounting the events in Prisoner of Azkaban to the tune of "Baby Got Back"] for this part:
     (spoken)
     MAFLOY: Potter, let me rap!
     POTTER: This is my song!
     MAFLOY: Professor, make Potter let me rap!
     SNAPE: Let Mafloy kick it up old school or else it will be detention, Potter.
125. All the music you like can be related in some way to Snape's character.
     [My current favorite is the musical 'Wicked', from the point of view of the Wicked Witch of the West, Elphaba.
     "No one mourns the wicked
     No one cries they won't return
     No one lays a lilly on their grave
     The good man scorns the wicked
     Through their lives our children learn
     What we miss when we misbehave
     And goodness knows, the wicked's lives are lonely
     Goodness knows, the wicked die alone
     It just shows when you're wicked you're left to live on your own."
     The entire musical is about how sad it is that no one mourns the supposedly "wicked" outcasts who may actually be the most worthy of our praise. ]
126. Your hero is Snape.
127. Even seeing the word 'celebrity' sends a chill down your spine.
128. Your operating system [Windows] is now colored in a motif of green\black\silver. Unintentionally.
129. You get creative writing awards for your Snape fanfictions. (True again! They gave me a pricey dinner, a subscription to the local art museum, an impressive medal, and I had to dress up...Then again...)
130. WHEN you are honored for your award, you dress in all black, in true Snape fashion, and are hesitant to be put into
     the spotlight for fear of being put into 'celebrity' status. [For you are against all things celebrity]. As a result you remain stoic and quietly dignified while the others aruond you are smiling like idiots.
131. You act like Snape in public.
132. You act like Snape in private.
133. new Your friends ask your advice on how to push people away with body language. (True story!)
134. You have framed pictures of Snape sitting on your desk. (In a nice frame, too. Not cheap ones).
135. You have so much Snape paraphernalia that you have the feeling you're being watched....
136. You find yourself wondering "If I were Snape, I would..."
137. It doesn't strike you as odd that you surround yourself with pictures of a stern, rather ugly man,who wears a disapproving glare...Or maybe it does but you accept it.
138. If in the USA, you vote for Snape for president (as a write in, of course)
139. You squealed\shrieked\fainted\sighed or some other girly response when you heard Rickman say in the trailer 'Turn to page 394'. (See it here!)