Funny Quotes

-  If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again,        Then it was probly worth it.

-  Of all the things i've lost, I miss my mind the most.

-  What the world needs is some do-give-a-damb pills.

-  It takes 72 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend your arm and punch    someone!

-  Before I go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back, You         will probly need it again.

-  Bite off nore than you can chew, then chew like hell!

-  Some days you are the dog, some days you are the hydrant.

-  Noone gets to old to learn a new way of being stupid.

-  Be patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it!

-  If you are arguing with an idiot, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.

-  I have seen the tuth and it makes no sense to me.

-  Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their ground.

-  Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

-  If you have an itch, scratch it!

-  Never raise your hand to your kids, it leaves your groin unprotected.

-  Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

-  Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

-  Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused.