The Lies That Bind Us – Part Seven:  Conversation

Disclaimer: IY and all affiliated stuffies are not mine.

A/N: No Beta Special this time. Why? Because Margo didn't write one and she's not online right now... Instead, thou shalt have an Authoress Special, done by little ol' me. I'm not as insane as she is - [cough, yeah right, cough] - but I hope it's a nice substitute. I'm going to try to get chapter 8 out before I leave, and if I can write while I'm gone, chapter 9 will be up on the 1st or 2nd.

Inuyasha was trying to ignore the fact that the girl sitting beside him was staring. It was pretty easy at first; all he had to do was pretend to be interested in Yura announcing that Open Mic was about to begin. It was much, much harder to act indifferent, however, when he felt a tug on the end of his braid.

"Oi, wench! What're you doing?"

Kagome smiled winningly. "Seeing if it's a wig. And the name's not wench. It's Kagome."

Inuyasha blinked. "Right. And my hair interests you because...?"

"Well, it's intriguing. It's so long... is it all yours?"

"Yeah."

Kagome just snorted doubtfully, reaching for another slice of pizza and taking a big bite. When she had adequately cleared her mouth of food, she responded. "Suuure."

"Wh- it's-" Voicing a growl of utter frustration, Inuyasha removed his hat. Since he hardly ever removed his hat in public, the hair underneath was slightly matted and messy. "See? It's all naturally attached."

"Oh..." Kagome responded, taking a sip of her lukewarm tea and grimacing. "So... is that your real hair color?"

Inuyasha jammed his hat back on his head and crossed his arms. "Of course."

"Suuure."

He groaned in exasperation. "I'm not some prissy little hair-dying moron, you know!"

"Uh-huh." Kagome bit into her pizza once more, her eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"I mean it!"

"Mm." She swiped a few of Sango's fries.

"...Feh. I don't have to explain myself to you." Inuyasha turned to the stage once more. The drama queen from earlier was taking the mic from a very annoyed Yura and waving at the crowd like a diva. He was once more successfully forgetting the the girl beside him existed, until-

"Would you quit tugging my hair?!"

While Kagome and Inuyasha were engrossed in hair trivia, Sango and Miroku had engaged each other in conversation.

"Being a bartender really isn't all that glamorous," he was saying. "Sure, there's the horde of beverages that will get you good and drunk, but it's nothing like the movies."

"Nothing like what movies?"

"You know, where an armed gunman bursts in to rob the cash register and the quick-thinking, heroic, brave, handsome bartender smashes him over the head with a bottle of Chardonnay and saves the day."

Sango knawed the end of a fry absently. Her appetite had mostly abated. "Sooo... what you're saying is that you're not quick-thinking, heroic, or brave?"

Miroku smirked. "I see that you left 'handsome' off that list."

"Shut up." She was grinning, however. Of course Miroku was handsome... "Okay, being serious... you're saying that you want to get robbed?"

"Not necessarily. I just mean that it's rather drab. You serve drinks, break up the occasional barfight, and wash glasses. On the upside, however," he shot her a charming smile, "you sometimes get to drive beautiful women home."

"Shut up, Nakano," she restated, proud of herself for fighting back the blush.

"Okay, okay." Miroku held up his hands in mock surrender. "It's your turn to talk anyway. So... what kind of work do you do?"

Sango was halfway through the sentence before she remembered that she couldn't tell him the truth. "I'm a f... florist." Having been on the edge of saying 'federal agent', Sango had picked the first career that jumped into her head that began with an 'f'. Coincidentally, it was the least flattering.

Kagome must have heard, because she reached over and stole a handful of Sango's fries to get her attention. When Sango looked at her, the other woman smirked, giving her a look that said 'We are sooo going to laugh at you later'. Rolling her eyes, Sango turned back to Miroku.

"That's an interesting job... Where do you work?" Miroku's posture was open and genial, giving Sango a glimpse into his motives for asking the question. He wasn't just asking about her job because it was socially polite; he was genuinely interested. Now to give him an answer that he'd believe...

Wracking her brain, Sango answered, "I'm between jobs. I just quit my last one because my boss was a complete Bastard." Deciding to siphon off a little of her Naraku-hatred, she added, "Capital letter and all."

"Ah. I see. That's why I hope my art career branches off. You're your own boss in that field, you know." Miroku's eyes sparkled suddenly, and a slow grin spread across his face. "Say..."

Sango sighed, but at the same time, she was relieved that it had been brought up in casual conversation. Trying to bring it up out of context would have seemed staged. "Before you mention it, Nakano, I have thought about it..." Deciding to remain true to her fabricated backstory, she went on. "Since I don't have a current job, I'll model for the class."

Miroku's eyes lit up like a pyromaniac at a campfire. "That's great!" It would have been fine if he'd left it at that, but he just had to go on... "I've been looking forward to getting my hands on you since the moment we met!"

A ringing silence fell at the table. Inuyasha and Kagome froze in the middle of bickering about something to stare at the two. Sango's eyebrow twitched and she began to clench and unclench her right hand at her side.

Being very perceptive, Inuyasha picked up on the danger signs. "Oi, Miroku... you might want to-"

SMACK!

"...duck. Nevermind." He winced at Miroku, who was sprawled over the end of the bench, his torso on the ground and his legs still up beside Sango.

"Hentai," Sango seethed. "And what do you mean, 'getting your hands on me'? The teacher will just be telling me what positions to get into and I do them, right?"

Recovering, Miroku pulled himself back into his seat, one hand on his sore, red cheek and the other on his back. "That one hurt," he groaned.

"And you deserved it. Lech."

Sighing, Miroku conceded. "Suppose so. And the answer to your question is 'no'. Figure drawing is so complex that you'll need to be placed in the position. You probably couldn't do most of them on your own." Miroku smiled slightly. "I could name a few of them now..."

Sango groaned and aimed another slap his way, but luckily, he saw that one coming and leaned backward, out of range, at the last possible moment. He grinned triumphantly. "Losing your touch?"

Sango rolled her eyes. "You are so exasperating..."

"I know. One of my many virtues. Now... It just so happens that our next class is tomorrow. Can you be there?"

"Sure. I have nothing planned... But I wanted to ask, is it possible that I'd be able to... uh..."

Miroku instantly picked up on what was causing the normally wrathful and cynical Sango to blush. "You want to know if you can wear clothes."

Sango nodded. "I know that you're doing figure drawing, so you can't deal with bulky clothes... but what about a leotard?"

Miroku sighed softly, giving her a doleful look. "Just when my dreams are just within my reach..." He stretched backward, stalling the moment of his answer as long as possible. "Since I respect you so much, Sango, I surrender."

He dug in the pocket of his jacket briefly and drew out a pen. He then handed it to Sango, along with one of the napkins from the holder. "Since the university funds the program quite well, they'll get what you need. I'll need your sizes and phone number to place the order."

Sango wrote down the needed information, then passed the items back to him. As he accepted them, something seemed to dawn on her. "Miroku... why did you need my phone number?"

With a cherubic smile, he tore the napkin in two; her sizes on one half and her number on the other. "That... was for me. The measurements are for Hiryuu." He trailed off as he eyed that particular half and gave a low whistle. "Nice."

Exasperated, Sango said nothing, wishing that she was still hungry so that she'd have something to do with her hands. Just as she was about to strike up a new thread of conversation, her phone rang. She put her hand in her pocket and drew it out, glancing at the ID. Naraku. Crap.

She made a motion as if to leave the booth - but Miroku was blocking her way. "Let me out."

"What can't you discuss in front of little ol' me?"

This left Sango with three choices: squeeze by Miroku and provide a prime grope opportunity, make up a convincing story on the spot without sounding suspicious, or sit down and try to be as inconspicuous as possible. The first was out of the question, and she doubted that she could come up with something that would make him move.

Making up her mind, she plopped down into her seat and flipped the phone open. "What?"

"Nothing but curtness from you, 'Jiya. I admire your pathos."

"Cut to the chase. What do you want?"

"My report."

Sango swore. She had forgotten that she was supposed to tell Naraku of any developments in the case. "Listen, I can't talk now."

She was unaware that her curt responses were drawing the attention of a certain bartender. Inuyasha eyed her curiously.

"Why the delay?"

"Not... now. I'll call you back later." Sango was speaking quickly, trying to wrap up the conversation before Naraku could say something that would make her betray his identity.

It was almost as if Naraku knew that Sango was in a position that could be easily compromised by a mistake on her part. "I'm not one for compromises... but I accept. Eleven o'clock. And Sango... I hope you're enjoying yourself with him. You need the social experience."

He'd struck a nerve. Seething, Sango spat, "My social life is perfectly fine, thank you very much! Besides, I'm only doing this because you told me to... Grandma." She tacked on the last word because she became aware that the last sentence was rather shady. Naraku began to laugh, and Sango snapped the phone shut.

At noticing Miroku's questioning look, she said, "My grandma's always worrying that I don't get out enough."

Miroku seemed to accept the answer, but Inuyasha eyed Sango dubiously. Some things just weren't adding up, and he wanted to make sure that Miroku noticed it.

The Authoress Special!

Kagome: [tugs Inu's braid]

Inu: Oi, wench! What're you doing?

Kagome: Seeing if it's a wig. And- o.O;;; [has yanked off Inu's hair, revealing...]

Houjou: Hiya, Higurashi! Sorry I called you a wench and all that, but I was just wondering if you'd-

Inu: [stalks over, grabs Houjou by the head, and tosses him onto the stage]

Kagome: o.o; That was mean.

Houjou: [stands up rather shakily] Pain... ow... the hurt... [topples again]

Audience: [goes wild]

Audience Dude: [snapping] He's like... Shakespeare!

Kagome and Inu: [exasperated sigh]

===

Sango: My social life is perfectly fine, thank you very much! Besides, I'm only doing this because you told me to... Grandma.

Naraku: ... ?

(Sounds of a scuffle from the other side of the line... then-)

Old Lady:  You must be Nara-poo's girlfriend!

Sango: o.O? [mimes vomiting]

Naraku: [yelling] Mother! Get off the phone! It's important business!

O.L.: You work too much. That's why you've got the frowny lines and your hair is all greasy.

Naraku: My hair is NOT greasy! It's... sleek...

O.L.: Well, you need to wash it. Use flat beer, dear. And why don't you have yourself a wife yet? Maybe if you weren't yelling all the time, you'd-

Naraku: DAMNIT, MOTHER! Give me the PHONE!

O.L.:......... [teary] So that's the way you treat me? And how many times have I told you NOT [whack] to curse [whack] in front [whack] of a LADY?! [whack whack]

Naraku: [slurred] What lady?

(Series of screams and thuds ensue.)

Sango: [sloooowly hangs up the phone]

Review Responses

Queenizzay: ;-; I knuu... [huggles] Gomen, Lon-chan. You know I really don't want to leeeave... >.> [points and laughs] You're gonna get whipped into wriiiiting and I'm gonna be freee... And writing anyway. Ach. And yes, Kagome's personality fits quite well here... but that certainly won't last. [shifty eyes]

Rin Katt: Kag/Inu? >.> Uhhh... I REALLY am not sure... But yesh, San/Mir rox sox in a box with a fox! [v-sign] And yes, I will update the SECOND I get out of the car... well... maybe that hour? =D

CatzMeow413: Thank you! Err... you know, you're right. I haven't done an insane disclaimer in a while... It's too late to put one here now, but I'll think about one for the next chapter. As hard as it is to believe, those things have a plot. [wink]

Demon Exterminator Barbie: v.v [kicks ] How darest thou eat her review?! Eeeevil... Oi... I'll be missing my OWN birthday (July 20)... although I don't know how I can miss my own birthday when I'm always with me... Neeevermind. I'm going about an hour or two away from my house, and then of to Texas. [packs many shorts and tank tops] XD And now you want to rearrange the U.S. Riiight. [laughs] Yup. Kagome went off the deep end... =D [suddenly cracks up] Nice reason for him to have a tight butt, that it is! [makes Miroku and Kagome sing "We Have Something In Common"] XD You know, that masochist line reminds me very much of Love Me Not... o.O;; Subliminal messages! Aaagh... [runs off to make Queenizzay and Aamalie update]

Lily Thorne: Heh... I'm glad you like it! Moving sucks... I'm glad I haven't done it in about ten years... Sesshoumaru, you ask? [huge "You just KNOW I'm hiding something grin] Yup! Although where he's going to show up stays a secret... although it'll probably be in chapter 9 or 10. Must... write... before... I leave...

AnimeAngel3326: Hee... glad you like. I hope this update was soon enough for you. o.O;; American Cheese? Do I WANT to ask?

Vamps: Welcome back! [grabs and clings] I'm glad you like! Now don't go creeping off into the shadows on me again, okay?

anhimals: x.x Ack. I always misspell your name at least once... XD And yup, the curiosity is to be expected, although I have no clue when it's all going to be brought out into the open. At any rate, glad you liked!

Kyoko Kasshu Minamino: >< If you REVIEW... you get RESPONSE, baka. [thumps you] And thou knowest that thou art important... you feed my manga fixation! [pupps do eyes] XD I knuuu... I'm a funny person... [preens] Oi... [hands you a bottle of Hentai-Repellent] Spray his hands... it has a funny little effect, sort of like matching poles of a magnet... Muaha.

Vilja: XD I know... Kagome was bizarre just then... =D I'm glad you liked!

Matsemunei: v.v Yeeah... they JUST gave me three reports that I have to do before camp and it suuuucks... XD I actually got lost with three of my friends on the Las Vegas strip... We didn't find the van until midnight, and then we were late for our trip to the Grand Canyon... though at least we weren't the only ones lost. Sesshie will appear either in chapter 9 or 10. The Beta Specials are written by my beta, Aamalie! =) [luvs her] Later-ness!

AnimeAnna22: =D I am very glad that you like it! And yes, the Conversation will be on your mind foreeever... [spins hypnotist wheel] Muaha! XD Maaaan... nope, I've never been paintballing, but I do WANT to go, beside the fact that people keep telling me that it hurts. I like laser tag, though, even though one time these little kids cornered me on the top floor and kept frickin' shooting me until I ran... and don't laugh! They were 3vil little children, and there were HUNDREDS! Okay... eight... ;-;

LiL psYch0: XD [sighs wistfully] I wish I'd been born in Japan... ;-; Moooving on... yup, I love that Miroku line... Ish one of my favorites. I hope this update was soon enough (though it probably wasn't).

shigromia: XD An angry but courteous mob, huh? Ah, well... I'm glad to hear that I'm considered a frequent updater! [sings] I'm too sexy for hiatus... XD And yup... I do love that line muchness. I actually read through the chapter and thought, 'When did I write that? Ish cool!'. [backs away from your insanity] =D

Blackcat8610: XD You have problems... [snatches the lesson] No hurting-ness... I don't think he could take it! As for the conversation... I guess you'll just have to wait, huh? [stares... Steve Irwin voice] We're goin' to the outback with Miroku n' the gang, so sit tight and don't... move... XD I'm glad you liked!

Soli-chan: =D Okay, okay, I won't try to keep you from finding loopholes... And I guess you get points... [gives] But, like Whose Line is it Anyway, they don't matter... XD Aww... rubber mallet hurt Kip-chan? [grabs you and bursts into tears] Sowwwwwyy! [puts a 50-lb bag of ice on your head] All better! [kicks AOL] Yah. Suuucks... and I'm not hiding the holes... they're there for all to see... >.> Miroku, why are you looking at me like that? oO;;;; [smacks] (Seriously. I read that over and was like OO;;)