Shrinking! – Part One: Aging Backward

Xandra: Sorry, after seeing Inuyasha and Miroku as children, I couldn’t help but think this up. Imagine, what would it be like, babysitting the lecherous monk and grouchy half-demon as preteens? Or kids? Or even toddlers? What evil would they concoct to foil their babysitters? Read and find out. Hope you like it!

****

“Inuyasha, look out!”

The hanyou ducked as the demon bird swooped over him, then turned around and oriented for the kill. He was ready for it. Ripping Tetsusaiga from its sheath, he turned and impaled the dirty thing through the chest, then threw it off his blade and slashed the throat of another. “I HATE harpies!” he spat, dodging as another ugly thing flew at him, shrieking bloody murder.

Miroku hit the ground as one of them flew at his head, claws aimed, then grabbed his fallen staff and whacked another ugly vulture-woman over the head. She hit the ground in front of him in a cloud of soiled, rank feathers and he scowled, backing away. “And I never thought I would see the day when a naked woman would disgust me. Repulsive.”

The winged old hags backed off as the group reassembled to make a plan. The creatures had attacked them when they’d passed accidentally through their territory, and the nasty things were not only ugly, but they smelled awful and they screamed terrible things at them, words so vile they burned the inner ear. Clawed feet, fangs for teeth, sagging body parts...oh yes, they were nothing to toy with. You’d think old women wouldn’t be so strong!

“What did you say these were?” Miroku asked, frowning as one called him something unrepeatable. “They’re awfully unladylike.”

“Harpies,” Kagome said. “I heard about them in history, and they were supposed to be mythological. Half human, half vulture, really gross.”

“DEMON vulture,” Inuyasha corrected. “There is NO way any normal bird could spawn something so nasty. Even a young one is an eyesore.”

Sango scowled. “I’ve fought many demons before, but never anything so repulsive.”

“We need to think of something to get rid of them with.”

“How DO you get rid of them?”

Everyone turned to look at her, but Kagome just sort of chuckled, nervously. “I...have no clue.”

They sighed.

“So we’re going to be torn limb from limb by nasty old women on wings that will probably eat us?” Sango asked.

Miroku shook his head. “By the looks of them, they’ll probably eat us alive, then rip the remnants to shreds and crush our bones for the marrow.”

“Thank you for clearing that up for me. After all, I’ve always wanted to know how I was going to DIE in grueling detail.”

“Hey, it’s what I’m here for.”

Kagome sighed. “We’d better think of SOMETHING! We’re outnumbered!”

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles, then looked up at the flying hags. “I already have a plan. I’m gonna rip the shit outta them and you can just try to keep up.” With that said, he leapt into the air and right at a flock of them, who were frozen in shock.

“What’s he doing?”

He pulled his arm back and his claws lit up. “Iron Reaver SOUL STEALER!”

One of the harpies fell to the ground in gory chunks and the others winced as Inuyasha landed and the things scattered.

“Oh, nicely executed,” Miroku muttered, prodding at a chunk of ugly old woman/ugly old vulture that had landed dangerously close to him. It twitched and he winced.

“HEY! You wanna die, you can stay clean!” Inuyasha shouted. “Survival is a dirty game!”

“They must survive a lot,” Sango whispered to the monk. He nodded his agreement.

The birds withdrew further, muttering in croaky voices to each other, and suddenly, Kagome had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. She listened carefully as the one in charge, the oldest and ugliest of them all, quickly darted to the side of another, one who was wearing a red velvet pouch on a rope around her neck.

“We’ve lost too many to these ground-bound bugs,” the old one said. “Give me your potion.”

“Oh pooh!” she squawked, “But I NEED this!”

“They’ll kill YOU too.”

Inuyasha scowled. Out of all of them, he could hear best, so apparently he had been listening too. “What are those old crones planning?”

“To defecate on us, no doubt,” Miroku muttered, wincing.

Shippo whined and hid under the monk’s robes, clinging to his ankle with a soft whimper. The harpies had tried to make a snack out of him, so no one really blamed him for being a coward.

Well, not this time.

Inuyasha growled, then flexed his fingers for another attack. “Shuddap, ya old hags! Tea time is over, it’s time to DIE!” He leapt into the air, aiming for the leader and her friend.

She growled. “DO IT!”

“FINE!” The younger harpy opened the bag with her claws and swung it, and a puff of golden powder flew right into his face, blinding him.

The hanyou coughed as he fell to the ground with a sickening thump against the grass, hacking and wiping his eyes as a few of the bird-demons began to cackle. Kagome moved to run to him, but Miroku caught her arm and stopped her.

“Miroku, what--”

“If it’s enough to stun Inuyasha, YOU may not fair well,” he said, sternly, forcing her back and holding his staff up as a warning to the creatures. “Stay behind me.”

She frowned, worriedly. //I hope he’s all right!//

“Get the rest of them!” the leader snapped.

The harpy with the pouch pouted, then fluttered above them and opened it again, preparing to pour it out on them. “Feel special, land-walkers! This is the last of my dust!”

Miroku shoved them back as the shower of gold rained down over him, sending them flying clear into the grass a few feet away and well clear of it. He didn’t have an all out hacking fit like Inuyasha, but instead coughed lightly against the arm of his kimono, shaking the substance from his hair and squinting his eyes shut.

“It’s not as dangerous as he’s making it seem,” Sango observed. Kagome looked at her. “It’s just glittery dust, a light-reflective powder, probably for use in battle to stun the enemy. Inuyasha probably inhaled a good amount, and THAT’S why he’s gagging, as opposed to Miroku, who’s just coughing.” She fastened her gas mask on over her face, then pulled the Hiraikotsu from her back and stepped up to assist the injured men. “A lung irritant, I’m sure. Stay back.”

She blinked. “Got it.” She backed up, then blinked as Shippo scrambled from between the monk’s feet and made an all out dash for her, leaping into her arms for protection. “Are you okay Shippo?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but I was afraid Miroku was gonna fall on me! His legs were shaking!”

Before she could even ask, the aforementioned lecher collapsed in the grass as Sango reached him, landing right where the excess dust had gathered. That only made it worse; he started coughing again and buried his face in his sleeves.

“Miroku, do you think you’ll be all right?” the huntress asked, sending a worried glance at him momentarily while warily eyeing the flying biddies.

He was choking uncontrollably, but he managed to cough out, “I--can’t-- breathe--”

“Then please forgive me!” Her boot came into contact with his side and he tumbled from her path and away from the dust that was aggravating his egregious breathing trouble. Mean as it seemed, she was doing him a favor.

Kagome backed up further, hugging Shippo. Every mothering instinct in her was screaming for her to go to Inuyasha and Miroku and take care of them, make sure they were all right, but she had to stay back. She didn’t want to get in Sango’s way, after all.

The huntress whipped back and launched the boomerang at the hags, and it swung around, knocking a few to the ground, only to come back in the other direction and crush several more before returning to its mistress. She caught it, holding it back over her shoulder. “Away, foul beasts!” she cried, menacingly, “Or I will knock you all from the sky!”

They swore and squawked as their injured parties scattered, then started to leave in a funk, but not before one of them swore at the leader.

“Oh, I used all my dust on them! You made me waste it for nothing!”

“Not wholly for nothing, sister,” the other said, “They will feel the sting of the concoction soon enough!”

With that said, they all disappeared back into the forest.

Kagome sighed, then hurried to the fallen men, covering her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater as she approached, discarding Shippo hastily. Sango tended to Miroku, and she went to Inuyasha, who lay face down on the ground, seemingly unconscious. She knelt, avoiding the sprinkles of dust here and there, and touched his back, giving him a soft shake. “Inuyasha? Are you okay?”

Slowly, he rolled onto his back and almost onto her lap, and his face was slightly frightening. He was pale and gasping, probably because of whatever he had inhaled, and he looked utterly miserable. “Uhnnn...” he groaned, despairingly.

Sango had managed to fight Miroku into a sitting position and was now helping him clear his lungs, patting his back supportively and holding him up so he wouldn’t fall back over. “That’s it, you’re all right.”

“That old bitch threw that shit right into my mouth,” Inuyasha grumbled, dazedly, sitting up and folding his legs, more to keep his balance than to be comfortable. “It felt like my lungs were on fire.”

“Yes,” Miroku coughed, softly. “Whatever it was for, it was effective in stopping our attacks...”

Sango covered his mouth, silencing him. “Indeed. Just worry about breathing, you can complain later.”

He nodded, obediently.

“Shippo,” she continued, looking back over her shoulder at the kitsune. She removed her mask and handed it to him, then produced a small corked vial from her pack and gestured to a patch where some of the dust had gathered. “Put on the mask and gather as much of that powder as you can into the vial. We had better take it to Lady Kaede, just in case it’s poison or worse. It would be better to know and cure it beforehand than let it go and risk a surprise.”

The fox-boy strapped the huge mask on, then bounded over and started scooping the fine substance into the tiny vial.

The hanyou recovered quickly. “Aww, haven’t we seen enough hags for one day?!”

Kagome tweaked one of his ears, making him jump. “You wanna turn green, have your skin rip off and run away and be eaten by killer bees?” He stared at her and slowly shook his head. She smirked, haughtily, and nodded. “Then shut up. You never know WHAT can happen with spells, so no whining or I will have to say the ‘s’ word.”

He was silent.

“Good. Now, let’s get to the village so we can ask her.”

Sango whistled to Kirara, who quickly bounded up and scooped the fallen men onto her back. She hopped up in front of Miroku and gave him a dirty look. “Grope me and I break your fingers.”

He nodded, looking ill. Inuyasha didn’t look half as bad, but then again, he was half DEMON, while the monk was just human. Maybe that was important. Weakly, he grabbed her hips in a safe place.

Kagome hopped up and wedged herself between the two of them to avoid hearing the ‘I’m not touching him like that, forget it’ rant Inuyasha always gave when he had to sit behind Miroku. Of course, the ‘If you touch me like that, I will gut you’ rant he spewed when Miroku was BEHIND him was much worse. Better to avoid the pain and annoyance all together. She carefully grasped his hips, then looked back at Inuyasha, who carefully did the same to her. Shippo bounded up and handed the corked vial to Sango, then planted himself on Kirara’s head.

“All set?”

“Yep!”

“All set!”

“Feh.”

“Uhnnn...”

“If you feel the need to vomit, Miroku, please turn to the right and aim for the ground. Kirara and I would both appreciate it.”

Kagome blinked as he wobbled a little, then frowned. Hopefully that dust wasn’t too damaging; he seemed a little off. //I hope they’ll both be okay.//

Kirara leapt into the air and immediately turned toward the village. It would be a short ride, thankfully.

The moment they reached a good altitude, Miroku fell forward and his head hit the shoulder guard of Sango’s armor. His grip changed and it became more of a hug than a steadying grasp.

She scowled back at him. “MONK...”

“Sango,” Kagome said, quickly, “Maybe he’s having a bad reaction to that stuff. I really don’t think he’s trying anything looking like THAT.” She wasn’t being rude, either. He was really starting to look awful.

Inuyasha groaned behind her. “Ugh, I’m getting dizzy...you feel that too, Miroku?”

“Uhhh-hnnnn.”

Sango sighed, frowning piteously, then nudged Kirara. “Faster, girl! This is now of class-one importance.”

****

“Inconclusive,” Kaede said as she poked and prodded at Inuyasha’s face. He scowled at her. “Away with ye. Bring the monk for inspection.”

The hanyou got up and walked to the corner, where Miroku was lying, close to unconscious with a deep frown on his face. “Get up, she wants to see you.”

When he didn’t move, Sango decided to help him. She got up and half carried, half dragged him to Kaede, who looked curious. The dust was in the process of being inspected by an apothecary in the back corner of the hut. They would soon know what it was.

Kagome frowned as Sango sat down next to her. “He really looks awful.”

“I know,” she sighed. Behind the mask of stoic calm, the girl could see a defined worry in the warrior’s eyes.

Kaede took Miroku by the chin and inspected his face. He stared back, almost dumbly. “Look into the fire.” He did so. “Look at me.” He did so. He repeated this several times, albeit slowly. She nodded, then looked into the fire herself a moment before going back to him. The old priestess raised an eyebrow. “Open your mouth.”

He didn’t even make a graceful effort. His law dropped opened and she frowned.

“Very unhealthy indeed,” she said. “Inuyasha, ye show no signs of illness, but Miroku, he is very ill.” Kaede released him and he didn’t get up. He just fell over backward and pulled his knees into his chest with a soft groan. Her frown deepened. “Indigestion, slow response to verbal commands and physical retardation of movement. This is like nothing I have seen before. His mind almost seems to be shutting down, and the result is his regular metabolic functions slowing, hence the dizziness and so forth.”

“So...” Sango said, carefully, “This means what?”

“This MEANS that his body and mind seem to be regressing. I cannot fathom why, however, that Inuyasha is spared from such.”

“My stomach hurts,” he said, simply. “My head hurts and I feel lazy.”

“You coulda said that before,” Kagome spat.

He shrugged. “It’s not really bad.”

“Because he is half demon,” Kaede pointed out. “This magic is meant for youkai, and it seems the human body rejects its effects, whatever they may be. Inuyasha feels little pain because his demon heritage shields him from the physical and mental pain Miroku is suffering of.” She paused and eyed the monk, then looked at the hanyou. “Take him outside. Fresh air will do ye both some good, and might relieve his pain, if only slightly.”

Inuyasha didn’t argue. He just knelt and scooped Miroku up like a rag-doll, then walked outside.

Kagome and Sango scooted closer as the woman gestured them over, then sighed. “I fear for them. Miroku more so than Inuyasha.” She looked back over her shoulder at the apothecary, a middle-aged man kneeling a little distance away. “Shinji, have ye discovered anything?”

He stood and turned to face them, holding the vial in hand with a frown on his minimally handsome face. “Nay, Lady Kaede. It seems to be a potion, made with no herb I have ever crossed. Pure magic.”

“Not poison?” Kagome asked.

He shook his head. “I cannot determine. My apologies.”

“I hope it isn’t,” Sango sighed.

“I somehow doubt,” Kaede said, pointedly. “You say this came from a harpy?”

Kagome nodded. “Yep. They poured it on us, but only they got hit, Inuyasha because he was too close and Miroku because he was being a hero. The one that did it seemed a little upset about losing it, though.”

The old priestess nodded. “A spell from a harpy can never be a good thing. We may just have to wait until the spell takes effect. After all, if one was planning on using it for personal gain, it may not be dangerous.”

Kagome moved to open her mouth, but a sudden sound broke her train of thought and drew everyone’s attention to the door of the hut. Outside, a bubbling sound was echoing, backed by a guttural murmur. Laughter. Someone was laughing.

MIROKU was laughing?

“What’s going on out there?”

“Maybe he is suffering from delusions...”

“FUNNY delusions?”

“Well...”

Kaede stood and walked as swiftly as she was able to the door. “I like not the sound of that.”

The two girls quickly followed the old woman and peered out the door, and what they saw surprised them...

Miroku was on his feet again, looking healthy and not at all uncomfortable...but he was laughing hysterically, almost in tears, and pointing to Inuyasha, who stood a good distance away with a scowl on his face.

Sango blinked. “What could possibly be so funny?”

“I have NO clue...maybe he’s got nuts...”

And then, it came out, and all three women stared.

“You have dog ears!” the monk cackled, falling to the ground in a fit of hysteric laughter.

Inuyasha leered at him. “HEY! You wanna get stomped, don’t you?”

Kagome blinked. His voice was higher? Maybe it was the dust! Miroku sounded different too, and he was teasing Inuyasha’s ears...he’d never done that before!

“Oh my...”

The huntress and reincarnated priestess both looked down at the elderly woman, who was staring grimly at the sight. “What is it?” they asked.

“A youth spell.”

The two looked up at their companions, and it quickly dawned on them that she was right. Both men were a good deal shorter than they had been, their clothing was hanging from their bodies like rags off wire hangers and both of their voices were higher. What’s more, their features even looked different...more innocent, even...

Sango brought her hands to her mouth. “Oh gods...look at them...”

“They can’t be any older than we are!” Kagome cried, aghast.

Kaede looked back into the hut. “Shinji, cease in your task, we know now.”

“As you wish, Lady Kaede.”

She turned to the girls, who stared at her, curiously. “Speak to them, to determine what regression may have taken place mentally, then bring them to me for inspection.”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

The girls quickly approached their appropriate other, then engaged them. Sango attempted first, stepping up to Miroku’s side to stare down at him. She frowned, slightly. Apparently, his differences were much more noticeable from up-close.

His laughter stopped as her shadow cast itself over him, and slowly he looked up at her, his eyes widening. “A woman!” he exclaimed. The excitement dripping from his voice was staggering. He acted as if he’d never seen a girl before!

She blinked. “Miroku?”

“And you know my name!” he cried. He sat up on the grass, then scrambled to his feet and turned to look at her. HE was HER height! He stared her right in the eye, his own wide with childlike curiosity. A grin split across his face. “A real, live woman...gods, can I touch you?!”

She blinked, then glanced back at Kagome, who was standing a few feet from Inuyasha with misgivings about coming any closer. (After all, she remembered what he’d been like on their first meeting before he’d been tamed...) Kagome shrugged and the huntress turned back to the man--er, boy, who looked excited beyond words. “You never asked before,” she muttered.

It was his turn to blink. “Have we met before?” She blinked again, and suddenly, the confused expression on his face disappeared and was replaced by a gentle smile, unlike his usual grins or sad half-smiles. It was a real, genuine smile. “Perhaps in my dreams. I’ve never seen a woman before, but I doubt there is any more beautiful than you.”

//He’s still a sweat-talker!// Kagome thought as she watched Sango blush.

The demon exterminator offered him a hand. “Yes, you may touch me, but don’t get too friendly.”

He grasped her hand, his excitement exploding back onto his face, and he commenced his lightning-fast inspection, darting around like a ten-year-old on pixie stix, murmuring expressions of fascination.

Kagome sighed, then turned and took a single step closer to Inuyasha...and was amazed to find that she was about an inch taller than he was. That backed her confidence. “Um...excuse me?”

He jumped a foot into the air, then turned and stared at her, gold eyes wide with surprise. Then, he put up the usual ‘I’m a tough guy’ front...but it was a lot weaker than usual. “Who are you?” he demanded.

“Um, I’m Kagome.”

“Stupid name,” he commented, shrilly. His naturally high voice was almost piercing. “You’re not gonna tease my ears, are you? Because if you are, I’m gonna have to flatten you.”

“No, no!” she said quickly, waving her hands in surrender. “I like them, there’s nothing wrong with them!”

“Don’t get too fond of ‘em,” he spat. “Where am I? And who’s the moron in the dress over there?”

Miroku turned and looked back at him. “This is NOT a dress!” he shouted. He took on a lofty expression. “It’s the livery of a monk, a man of GOD, unlike you, Mr. Puppy Ears.”

“Whatever! YOU’RE the one in a dress with a ponytail!”

“Oh, tease my hair! I dare you! You’ve got more than any HORSE!”

“YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN, GIRL?!”

“*GIRL*?!”

Sango grabbed Miroku by the arm before he could go anywhere, but Inuyasha wouldn’t be quelled so simply. He stormed right past Kagome, and small or not, he was still really strong.

She huffed. “I hate to do this to you, but...SIT!”

The purple prayer beads lit up and, with a cry, he hit the ground. “AAAIIIEEE!” THUMP.

Miroku stared as the half-demon attempted to pull his face from the dirt, but he fell again. The monk lost it again. “A dog with a collar!” he cackled. “How FITTING!”

“Why you...” He got up and leered at him, spitting a mouthful of dirt at his sandals, then turned his death-glare onto Kagome. “YOU! How did you DO that, woman?!”

She spoke on reflex. “I’ll do it again, ya little brat, if you don’t shut up and behave!” Then, she paused. //Wow, that sounded like I was shouting at Souta!// she thought.

Inuyasha was silent, though he looked unhappy about it. His ATTITUDE sure hadn’t changed!

Miroku went back to his exploring, but it was a short experience, because his eyes stopped on Sango’s chest, making her blush. “OH! You have breasts!”

She scowled, blushing darkly. “I’m female, it happens.”

“Can I touch them?”

She darkened to a strawberry red. “NO!” She lifted her hand to whack him.

“Sango, wait! Remember, he’s a kid!”

Her hand paused just a centimeter from his face and she scowled, then turned away and marched back to the hut.

The young monk didn’t leave her alone, though. “Aww, why not?”

“They’re MINE, THAT’S why!”

“Well, can I SEE them, then?”

“NOT A CHANCE!”

“Oh, come ON!”

Kagome smiled, then looked back at Inuyasha--and frowned. He was messing with Tetsusaiga. “I don’t think--”

“A’course not, you’re a GIRL,” he interrupted. She scowled and bit back the ‘sit’ that was ready and willing to be shouted. He swung the thin, nicked blade around a bit, then scowled. “Where’d I get this sword? It looks like SHIT!”

“Watch your mouth, buddy!” Kagome exclaimed. He rolled his eyes and ignored her, but she didn’t let it go. She reached up and grabbed one of his ears, making him yelp like an injured pup. “YOU are coming with ME, and if you fight me, I will plant you in the ground, face-first, ya HEAR ME, BRAT?!”

“Oww! Oww! Leggo of my ear! OWW, you WENCH!”

“SIT!”

“EEK!” THUMP. He recovered and jumped to his feet, but she opened her mouth and he backed off. He picked the fallen sword up and sheathed it, though the motion was clumsy and untrained, then folded his arms. “Stupid girl...”

She grabbed his ear again and gave it a tug, receiving another cry of pain, then dragged him to the hut. “Whatever’s going on with you,” she muttered, “This better NOT be permanent...”

****

To Be Continued