Losing You
Pain shot through every
core of his body, every organ when he thought about it. This couldn't be his
fate, it wouldn't. He would not allow such a curse to consume him. At first,
he'd been slowly coming to terms with his destiny. Miroku
knew it was unlikely that he would defeat Naraku
before his wind tunnel dragged him in, that wouldn't stop him from trying
though. Even after meeting Inuyasha he had his
doubts. He knew that when the time came, he would leave them, keeping them from
sharing the same fate as he. All of that changed though, once they'd met her.
Everything changed because of her.
"Houshi-sama?" A girl asked, peaking her
head around the monk's secret hiding place. "What are you doing behind a
bush?"
"Nothing
my dear Sango, simply admiring the view. However, it's not nearly as
beautiful as you." He said calmly, looking up at her. He could have sworn
he saw a faint blush spread across her cheeks as she adverted
her eyes. But that couldn't be... Right? She'd never
think of him as anything more then a lecher. That wasn't completely off track,
but he'd toned down ever since she'd come into his life. It's not his fault she
was so beautiful with such a touchable backside. It called to him.
"Stop with the
flattery Houshi-sama, Kagome just sent me to tell you
that dinner was ready. It's ramen, so if you want any, you should get it now
before Inuyasha eats it all."
As Sango
turned to leave, Miroku let out a long sigh, one Sango couldn't possibly miss. She did. However, once she'd
gotten a few steps away, she remembered what it was Kagome had said.
"Miroku
has missed dinner all week. Get him here before I hit you all with a frying
pan! And don't come back without him!"
This was very
un-Kagome-like, and Sango had no idea what a frying
pan was. She and Inuyasha had gotten into a
particularly violent fight about her going home tomorrow. It ended with the hanyou in the floor and Sango
running out of the hut before Kagome snapped again. Grumbling, Sango slumped back to Miroku's
bush and sat next to him with a sigh.
"Houshi-sama,
are you coming to dinner?"
"No thank you, I'm
not very hungry."
Sango sighed again. This was just
great... She was starving. Looking for jewel shards, fighting, and slapping Miroku took a lot out of a girl! She was about to tell him
so, but was cut short when she took a good look at her companion's face.
Despite his flirty and perverted antics, he had a very serious look in his
eyes. They were out of focus and he was trembling a bit. When he turned his
head to look at her briefly, she turned her own away, ashamed to be caught
staring.
"Houshi-sama...
Are you all right?"
"Of course Sango..." Miroku smiled
weakly. How could she affect him so much? Just being next to her
made him ache to be closer. She'd never see him the same way he saw her though.
Sango had the impression that Miroku
saw her as a mere toy, something to have fun with... Something she wasn't. Miroku would move heaven and earth to be with the demon
exterminator, but as devoted he would be, he knew couldn't, his curse wouldn't
allow it.
"Houshi-sama,
you can't hide things from me... Come on, what's wrong? You can tell me." Sango smiled a bit. He tried his hardest to hide what he thought, it didn't work too well on her though. Sango noticed these things, how could she miss them? She
couldn't control it, when Miroku was sad, she was
sad. When he was upset, she was upset. And when Miroku
was hurt, she wanted to die. Why she felt this way, she couldn't place
though. Could it be...?
*Love
Love?!
Love
Couldn't be!
And why is that?
Because, I can't fall in
love with him!
Why not?
Because
Because?
Because
I just can't.*
Miroku watched, slightly amused and
alarmed, as Sango continued her internal battle. He
could see the frustration and confusion etched on her face and vaguely wondered
what she was thinking about. He let his gaze wander alone the lines of her
profile as she sat beside him.
'So beautiful....' He
thought
*Why can't you love
him?
Because... Just leave me
alone
You're scared
Scared? What is there to
be scared of?
Losing him
What?
Your scared of losing him. That's why
you won't love him
...
...Shut up, What do you know?
Everything. I'm the almighty voice. I know
everything. Admit it.
There's nothing to
admit...
*sigh* Stop being so
stubborn. Look him in the eyes then.
Why would I do that?
A) it's romantic. B)
You haven't done it since you fell. Look him in the eyes and try to tell
yourself you don't love him.
Fine then, I will
Fine
Fine
Fine
Fi-
GO!*
Sango took a deep breath and turned to Miroku, only to find he was already staring at her.
Blushing furiously, she was about to look away... but found she couldn't.
Oh gods...
Looking in his eyes, she
could see everything. The pain he was going through, the worries and doubts.
Smiling sadly, she brushed his hair out of his face with her hand and gently
laid her head on his shoulder. She sighed and looked up at his stunned face.
"I know that you're
worried... Worried and scared."
"I am not-"
"I'm scared
too."
Miroku blinked and stared at her in
shock. Sango wasn't exactly one to come out and admit
that something was wrong. Sango tended to hold those
kinds of emotions in, hidden from the world. He always knew how she was
feeling though. He'd heard his father once say: "Your eyes tell a story
your lips won't". This was awfully dangerous for Miroku
to test out on Sango though... Every time he found
himself getting lost. (A/N: woah! This is getting wayyyy off track here... I like it XD)
"What are you scared
of?" Miroku asked quietly, truly curious.
"Tell you my secrets
if you tell me yours." She answered, plucking at the ground. She didn't
know what was wrong with her. She never talked to Miroku
as openly as she was now... Damn inner voices....
"All
right."
"Okay." Sango took a breath and played with a long piece of grass.
"I'm scared. I'm scared that we don't defeat him. I'm scared of everyone
leaving once it's over. I'm scared of losing my brother." 'Losing you'
"Okay... Your turn."
"All right, I am
scared. I'm scared of my curse. I'm scared of what will happen because of it.
I'm scared of Naraku. I'm scared of the wind
tunnel... Most of all... I'm scared of you."
"Me?!"
"You." Miroku
nodded, "I'm scared of your smile. I'm scared of your eyes, your lips. And
above all, I'm scared to lose you."
Sango gasped softly at this, and Miroku took that moment to bring his head down to hers and
capture her lips in a gentle kiss. Sango tensed and
her eyes grew wide, that was definitely something she had not been
expected. She only came to tell him dinner was ready... How did all this
happen? Then again... What did it matter? Feeling his
warm lips covering hers, she eased her shoulders, closed her eyes and returned
the gesture. Slowly, Miroku pulled back, resting his
forehead against hers, letting their breath mingle.
"Kami,
I've wanted to do that for a long time..."
Sango blushed, "Hous-"
Miroku cut her off through, with another soft yet
firm kiss, not able to bare hearing her call him that still. Yes, he was a
monk, but he was Miroku first, and he wanted to here
her say it at least once before he'd leave them all. Thinking of the day he'd
have to leave the woman at his side, he started to tremble a bit. (A/N: aww! Miroku-kun! >.<) He
knew it wouldn't be long now. Everyday, the hold grew bigger, not that he could
tell the others... They wouldn't let him go.
"Houshi-sama"
Sango gasped, pulling away when she felt him shaking.
"Miroku..." She sighed, wrapping her arms
around his middle and nestling her head in the crook of his neck. Miroku hugged her close to him, trailing kisses along her
neck, something else he'd been wanted to do forever. (A/N: she's so god damn
lucky!)
"I don't want to lose
you" He mumbled against her neck, causing her to shudder.
"Miroku..."
Sango breathed, sitting up, "You won't lose me.
You won't leave me either." Miroku opened his
mouth to argue but Sango hushed him, placing her
finger on his lips. "Shh... I won't let you. I
swear that if you do I'll never forgive you."
"But Sango... The Wind tunnel -"
"I know about
the wind tunnel... We'll get Naraku. Don't give me
that look! And if we don't... I don't want you to
leave me..."
"Sango,
I don't want any of you to-" Sango pressed her
lips up against his, swallowing any argument on the subject. Miroku gladly accepted, running his hand through Sango's hair. Sango hesitantly
moved her hands up to the back of his head, tugging his hair out of it's hold, tangling her fingers in it. She'd been waiting to
do that. She knew he just wanted to protect everyone, and that she was being
selfish... She didn't want Miroku to leave though, as
much as she hated it, she'd grown to him... She loved him. Hey! The inner voice
said it, not me! Anyway... All of that didn't matter
right now... All that she was thinking of was how good it felt while Miroku nibbled on her lower lip. (A/N: *sigh... I'm
depressed now...) This may have been why she didn't
hear the bushes behind them rustle and Shippou's
little head pop out.
"Hey Sango what are you- EWWW!" He cried, covering his
eyes, " I'm tellin
Kagome!"
"Shoot!" Sango cursed, smacking her forehead, "Dinner. Kagome
sent me to get you."
"That's all
right." Miroku stated, lifting Sango's face up to his, "I'm not very hungry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How the hell did I get
from Dinner to snogging? O.o....
That's a question for the gods. ANYWAY! Fluffy and romantic
enough for you? ^-~ Was for me! *sigh* Not
fair... I make Sango have a better love life then I
do... Anyone has a better love life then I do... Why? Because I don't have one!
-.-; not fair... ANYWAY! Review ^-~ Talk