Daddy Dearest – Part Nine: Sango’s Grief

Xandra: A note to my finalists, your characters will be showing up in a later chapter. I've changed it. There's no cameos in this one. Sorry. ^_^

As for a particular comment about Miroku's actions not really being that bad, try seeing it from Kiori's POV, person that mentioned it. Also, there was also a comment about his telling Kiori where her necklace fell. You might wanna read the chapter again. He TOOK her mother's necklace in place of his original rosary (with the excuse of wanting to remember her [wow, that was effective {not}]), and his rosary fell between the floorboards. He lied to her when he said her necklace fell there instead of his rosary, so she wouldn't bust him. I hope that clears some things up!

Well, those of you M/S lovers, I suggest you savor this one, because, finally, there is more of it. Be happy, I'm sappy. (Whoa, I'm a great poet, and I didn't even know it! Ha-HA!) Enjoy, and review, and don't worry, the mystery of Miroku's memory and his "bad eyes" will be revealed very soon (just not now...evil me ^_^).

Oh, PS: 'Ne' (for the person that asked whom will remain anonymous) is a Japanese expression, like a sentence ender. Think of it as something like, "ya know?" or "right?" I used it in place of the normal American sentence ender of 'eh?' (Example: Nice day, eh?) I hope that helps a bit. ^_^

{"This is outer-worldly voice, just so you know"}

****

Sango jolted awake as she heard a familiar roar from nearby, then opened her eyes and blinked as Kirara bounded up, looking panicked. She was in her larger form, and she was bouncing in place, her tails wagging impatiently. "Kirara?" she asked, tiredly. She had nodded off while waiting to hear from her, but by the look of her, something was wrong. "What is it?"

The fire-cat pointed with a paw off in the direction Miroku had gone in.

She blinked. "Miroku? What's happened to him?"

The youkai gestured with her head.

"Oh no, is he hurt?"

She nodded, frantically.

"Yes? Oh, damn him! What's he done now?!"

Suddenly, Kagome woke up and looked around, then at her. "Sango? It's not even morning yet, what's the matter?"

She got up and grabbed her pack, then ducked into the brush and hastily changed out of the sleeping robe supplied by the mansion's staff, back into her yukata. She tossed the extra robe aside. "Kirara says Miroku is in danger, and I'm going to go save him--then I'm going to kill him." She jumped onto the fire-cat's back. "Let's go, Kirara!"

~

Miroku's life flashed before his eyes as he crashed through the surface of the lake, He didn't bother holding his breath or attempting to surface, because his will to survive had left him with his pride and selfish needs. All he wanted now was to die in peace. After all, he had done everything wrong in life--he was going to do something right in death.

[\\"Mushin, what is the meaning of life?" the young boy asked his guardian.

The old, fat man paused in his task of trying to sweep the porch of the temple. "Hmm...why does one so young ask a question such as that?"

"I don't know, but I'm curious. Why do people live? What is the reason that makes people want to stay alive in times like these? What are they after?"

"Quite the question...I assume that it is the same for almost every person..."

"What is it?"

"Happiness. All people want to be happy. No one quests to be miserable, but to find joy in one form or another. We monks quest for true enlightenment, while normal folk quest for love and safety. Children search for that one little adventure that will bring them happiness, and men search for the glory of a good home and a loyal wife. It all depends on the person, but as a whole, people just want to be happy." \\]

Happiness...

Every person quested for happiness...

His mind was breaking up. He was blacking out.

//It will all be over soon.//

[\\"Miroku, meet your son--Mikiro."

The fear in those large, innocent eyes bit into him, and for the first time in a long time, he felt monstrously afraid. He had been scared, but this was beyond all normal fear. He had a son. He had a child, brought forth by a strange woman he didn't know...or that he thought he didn't know. He wasn't certain anymore...

The eyes of the others made him feel tiny and insignificant, especially those of Sango. Now she would never accept him.

They degraded him, verbally, but he couldn't hear them over the sound of the blood pumping quickly through his veins. He was deaf to them. "He cannot be my son."

The woman then revealed the hole in his hand and he fell into a mental pit of despair. He had a son. He really had a son...

And he was terrified.

****

"Shippo?"

Miroku looked ahead at Kirara's tail as his son finally spoke up audibly. He was riding with Shippo, and until now, he had been silent. Just hearing his voice made him edgy.

"Huh?"

"Do you have a Mommy and Daddy?"

Those words made him tense, and Sango noticed. She looked at him, but didn't comment as they both continued to eavesdrop.

"Everybody does."

"Are they your Mommy and Daddy?" He pointed at Kagome and Inuyasha. Miroku smirked to himself and Sango giggled.

"Inuyasha and Kagome? Nah, but Kagome is kind of like a Mommy for me. Inuyasha doesn't like me too much, but then again, he doesn't like ANY kids. He hates Souta too, I hear."

"Are you sure everybody has a Mommy and Daddy?" he asked.

Miroku paused in mid-step at the accusation. Somehow, he had a feeling that the simple question had a deeper meaning, and apparently he wasn't alone in feeling that way, because Sango frowned at this.

Shippo nodded. "Yeah. Mine are gone now, but everybody has them at first..."

****

"Miroku hasn't talked to him at all, has he?"

He listened silently from where he was beneath the tree as Shippo and Sango talked about him. They probably thought he was meditating. What on earth were they going on about?

"Not since this morning."

"He's afraid of him, I think."

"Yes, he's told me that, in a way."

DAMN it. Why was she telling Shippo that?! It was none of his business!

"No, I mean Mikiro. He's scared of him."

WHAT? WHY???

"What?" Sango asked for him. "Why?"

"I dunno," Shippo continued. "When he was taking his bath, he told me that he was scared of Miroku because he had bad eyes and because his Mom didn't like him."

BAD eyes? What did that mean? Miroku continued to pretend to be meditating and listened.

"BAD eyes? How can someone have bad eyes?"

"I dunno! Weirdest thing, though. He told me that Miroku is a good man, but he has bad eyes."

Miroku frowned to himself, but he didn't interject. He wasn't even supposed to be listening, but the thought of it was staggering. Mikiro--his own son-- was afraid of him. \\]

Mikiro no longer had anyone to fear, then. He was dying now, and it would soon be over with.

They were bombarding him now, and he noticed mildly that he was drowning, but it was more of an exterior thing than anything noticeable. It was almost like being in a sinking box with windows; the water didn't affect him, though it meant his doom. He could see it, but he couldn't feel the damage it was causing him. How odd...

//Finally,// he thought, wearily, as his mind continued to show him all of his mistakes. //I've done something right...//

**** ~

They searched for an hour, but Miroku was not to be found. Kirara had led them to a place in the woods, but his trail hadn't been fresh, and now it was nonexistent. Even Inuyasha couldn't pick him up after the sun had risen. It was like he had just vanished!

//When I find him, I'm going to KILL him!// Sango thought as she retraced the path Kirara had shown her. The youkai kept on insisting that he had been right in this spot for a long time, and then he had left and disappeared somewhere nearby without warning. She had the feeling that he was right there--somewhere--and that she was missing the biggest clue to tell her where he had gone, and it bothered her.

In truth, she didn't like NOT knowing where Miroku had gotten to. Millions of thoughts had come to mind about his whereabouts when they had begun looking for him and not found anything to give them a hint to where he was. She'd thought that maybe he'd gone back to the mansion to flirt with that maid, Erika, or that he'd gone off to the village to try and con a meal out of some unsuspecting mother, but they had checked both mansion and village, and there had been no sign of him. She had been harboring negative thoughts of what he might be doing to ease her mind, because she knew that if he was off being a pervert, he had to be SAFE. Now that all of her excuses were used up, she was really getting worried, and she liked that less than anything. The thought that he was hurt or trapped helplessly somewhere-- maybe even cornered by Naraku--scared the life out of her, and it was hard for her to function when she was afraid for someone she loved.

She froze. //I meant that like how I love Kagome and Inuyasha--well, not Inuyasha, but Shippo--and Kirara! Not like--// She paused, frowning. //If I wasn't' so guilty I wouldn't need to make excuses for my thoughts. We'd better find him soon or I'll lose it for sure...//

She had taken Mikiro with her to the mansion when the others had sent her to check there for Miroku, and the boy was still there now, getting a good meal and a bath. They hadn't exactly let him in on the secret of his father's disappearance, because they didn't want him to be afraid, so they'd told a few servant girls to tend to him while they looked. That way, if Miroku showed up there, Mikiro would keep him in one place until the others got back. Well, at least there was that.

//Get a grip on yourself, girl,// Sango thought to herself. //That idiot probably fell asleep outside some girl's window somewhere in the forest after peeking at her. He's just being the lecher he always is, so don't get freaked out. Besides, when you find him, you can beat him into the next era.//

"Grrr..." she stopped where she stood and punched the nearest tree, chipping the bark off where her fist connected, "How DARE he freak me OUT like this?! I'll KILL that little weasel!"

Then, as the silence set in, she froze, her eyes passing over something that lay discarded in the brush near the tree Miroku had supposedly been resting under, according to Kirara. Slowly, she knelt and reached out for it, gently tapping at it and hoping it wasn't what she thought it was. Unfortunately, it WAS. It was Miroku's staff, lying barely hidden from sight in the bushes as if dropped there accidentally in hasty. Miroku would NEVER leave it anywhere unguarded.

She picked it up and inspected it, tensely, noting that it was damp with the morning dew and strewn with loose blades of grass. With a sad sigh, she clutched it in her hands, focusing on the golden icon, which was glinting in the early-morning sunlight. //If he isn't already dead...//

"Sango! SANGO!"

She looked up as Shippo came dashing up from nearby, looking terrified. "What is it?"

"I found something! Inuyasha caught a hint of Miroku's scent up this way and told me to follow it, and I don't like what I found! C'mon!" He turned tail and ran off into the brush again, not far from where the staff had fallen.

//I don't like this whole thing,// she thought, frowning. With a sigh, she hastily gave chase, still carrying the staff with her.

She followed Shippo for what felt like forever, though it was only a half a minute, and when he stopped and pointed, she froze, her eyes wide.

There, hanging limply off of a stray branch hanging over the beaten-down path in the shrubbery, was a single piece of blue cloth.

She grabbed it and inspected it, her fear skyrocketing through the roof. "Oh my God, this is--!"

"Yeah, even I could tell that was part of Miroku's robe even without my demon nose! It's the right color and everything, and it even smells like him." Shippo paused. "I think he may be in serious need of a bath..."

"How could we have missed this before?" she demanded, holding the staff up and still clutching the cloth in her hand. "How?! Why wasn't this area checked before!"

"Well, because there's a waterfall this way, of course! Sheesh, you think I wanted somebody to accidentally fall off or something when they were looking?"

She gawked. "A WATERFALL?!?" Shippo was in the air in an instant. "SHOW ME WHERE IT IS!"

"Okay, okay already! Sheesh!" The kitsune wriggled from her grasp, then pointed in the direction they were headed. "This way, but don't rush me! I'm not exactly sure where it starts." He shuffled off through the brush with the demon slayer close on his tail. So close, actually, that she was practically stepping on it.

In no time flat, the woods ended and the dense layer of low vegetation followed suit, giving way to uneven stone. As they exited the forest, a massive rushing sound was immediately audible, and before she knew it, they were standing on the brink of a cliff, right next to a waterfall. It was a small one by most standards, being that it was only about TWENTY FEET UP, but that was enough. //Jump from here and the game's over!// she thought as she looked down over the falls.

Then, she thought again and stared with more intensity at the tumbling of the cataract. If a man were to jump off of here, he'd hit the water and immediately go under via the force of the waterfall, and considering the velocity one would fall by jumping from this height, he'd hit the bottom without a doubt. If he didn't break his neck from the fall, he would be held under until he could get out from beneath the thundering flow, if he could at all. By the time he managed to escape, he would either be dead or close to it, and in a monk's robes, which were already heavy enough on their own, he'd end up sitting on the floor of the lake without any air. That would be a slow and agonizing way to die.

"Shippo, you don't think he'd..." her voice left her before she could finish the thought and trailed off into silence. It was just too frightening a thought. She looked down at the scrap of Miroku's robe, still clutching his staff in her other hand.

Shippo frowned as he looked down, holding onto the skirt of her yukata to keep from falling over the edge. He looked up at her. "I wouldn't put it past him, knowing how he gets sometimes..." then he paused and gulped, then laughed, nervously, "But why would he? I mean, he has no reason, right? Why would he wanna commit suicide?"

//Because his son his terrified of him and Lady Kiori thinks he's the scum of the Earth,// she thought. She felt that annoying stinging in her eyes again, signifying that she wanted to cry, but she forced it away and bit her bottom lip so hard that she drew blood. //It probably doesn't help that I treat him so badly most of the time...// She suddenly felt a blast of painful guilt and she fell to her knees, clutching the staff to her chest. "MIROKU!" she shouted, her voice echoing as the tears finally began to pour down her cheeks. "IF YOU'RE DEAD DOWN THERE, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Shippo blinked, then turned and looked at her, frowning and patting her shoulder. "Sango..."

She barely heard him over the blood pounding in her ears and the thundering of the waterfall. A vision of the monk lying pale and unmoving under the surface of the lake, his carcass held down by the pressure of the cascading water, flashed before her eyes and she began to bawl hysterically. It was unbearable, and she could almost sense his absence from the world. "...no...please, no...don't let him be gone...no..."

But he was, and she knew it. Miroku was dead. He was really dead...and there was nothing she could do about it.

~

Inuyasha froze as he heard Sango shrieking from not too far away, near the place where Kirara had reported last seeing Miroku. "Oh shit! Gods, don't tell me she found his BODY or something!"

Kagome looked at him, wide-eyed. "Don't SAY that!" she shrieked. "He CAN'T be dead, but don't jinx us!"

"Jinx? Whatever, girl! If he's dead, he's dead, but either way, Sango screaming isn't a good thing!" He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her onto his back. "Hold on, we're checking this out!"

Kagome hastily latched onto him as he launched into the air, soaring over the treetops and landing carefully on a sturdy upper-branch of a large oak to scout out where her crying was coming from. He concentrated on it and easily honed in on her, but when he looked in the direction, he saw a familiar sight.

It was the waterfall they had passed during the night. He remembered waking up somewhat while he was strapped to Kirara's back, and he had seen that waterfall. She was there, he could tell. He could see her even from a distance, and Shippo was with her. A glint of gold in her grasp told him that she had Miroku's staff. "Damn it!" He started leaping from tree to tree to hastily close the distance between the two of them and Sango and Shippo. If she had the staff and she was crying...

He was almost straining his legs as he launched himself further and further with each jump, a panic clutching at his soul with its fingernails. He was really afraid now. If Miroku turned up dead, he would feel awful. Despite his constant annoyance caused by the lecher's dirty habits, he really did consider Miroku to be a friend. He'd had his back since they'd first called a truce to find the jewel shards, and they'd both done their share of life- saving. He honestly didn't want to make it there to find the monk dead, but at the same time, he wanted to know NOW if he was. He had rarely been so desperate to get somewhere in his life, and he was making amazing time, jumping further than he usually did and landing only for a split second before he was in the air again.

Finally, they made it to the side of the cliff that the waterfall tumbled off of, and with a few short jumps, they were standing next to Sango and Shippo. Sango was in utter hysterics, her body shaking as she sat there, clutching Miroku's staff in her arms and speaking unintelligibly through her tears. Shippo was trying to comfort her, but he wasn't doing a good job.

Kagome hopped off Inuyasha's back, and good thing, too, because the moment she was off, his legs gave out from all the excess exertion he had used to get them there so fast. He landed on his knees painfully, but he barely noticed the aching of his muscles as he watched Sango leap into Kagome's arms, practically wailing.

"Sango..."

"Kagome, he's gone..."

"What? How can you be sure, Sango?"

Inuyasha frowned, then blinked as the girl suddenly held up a chunk of dark blue cloth that had obviously been ripped from its source with great haste. He took a cautious whiff and his frown deepened. It was part of Miroku's robe.

Kagome gasped. "Is that--?"

Sango's crying became worse as she let it fall from her hand, and Inuyasha caught in and inspected it, curiously. "He jumped off the cliff, I just know it!" she sobbed. "I can feel it! He's gone, and I feel like it's my fault!"

"Oh, Sango, no...you tried to make him stay, I know you did..." Kagome wasn't even crying, but apparently, the loss of their friend had hit her so hard that she was beyond tears. She suddenly looked pale and almost old with grief, but she didn't cry.

Shippo, though, WAS crying, probably due to Sango. He latched onto Kagome too and bawled into her shoulder.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, didn't really find a point in crying, yet. He was busy inspecting the cloth to determine how it had become detached from Miroku's robe. He was too rational to start mourning yet, and too stubborn. If he could figure out how it had become detached, he could try to disprove the theory of Miroku's jumping to his doom. If he couldn't disprove it, he was going to jump himself and search the lake for his body. If he was dead, then it would turn up. If it wasn't there, then there was still hope. Either way, until Miroku was found, dead or alive, there was no reason to cry. There was still hope.

He gave it a quick sniff and determined that it had come into contact with something like a tree, but then again, they had been in the forest for days. However, it was sort of ripped in one place, like it had caught on something. "Sango, where did you find this?"

"In the forest, hanging off a branch..."

"WHERE?"

She pointed back. "There...on a branch hanging over the path..."

He got up and stretched his legs a little, then winced as pain lanced through them from ankles to thighs. //Oh, yeah, running would've been slower, but DEFINITELY the better choice...// He managed to loosen the muscles in his calves and thighs enough to make walking only somewhat painful, then headed off in the direction indicated. He easily located the branch, and he traced the path from there back to where Kirara had said he was sitting. He'd already checked here, but now that the sun was higher in the sky, the dew that was masking Miroku's scent was almost completely gone. He could tell for certain that he had been here, now.

With a sigh, he knelt and started combing the entire little clearing, picking up scents of Kouga's wolves, a few different youkai and several animals, but Miroku's was there too, right under the tree closest to the beaten-down path in the brush. He found the imprint of the staff amongst some shrubs near the tree, but, upon closer inspection of the old redwood, his eyes locked on something that absolutely proved he had been here for a while.

Several strands of dark hair had been caught in the bark, suggesting that he had either sat here for a long time with his head against the area or he had fallen asleep here. The question was, why had he suddenly left without any warning?

Inuyasha knelt down in the spot he assumed Miroku had been sitting in by the concentration of his scent, then carefully, he touched a claw hand to the area where the strands were stuck. However, the moment his hand came into contact with it, something strange happened.

He had a vision, and though it was only a quick flash, it was enough. Miroku was sitting here, and he was crying almost as hysterically as Sango was now. It another instant, he was up and headed off through the brush, tramping a path through it in his haste without even bothering to grab his discarded staff. Moments after he was gone, Kirara poked her head in and looked around, then sniffed, fuzzed up, turned tails and ran back to the campsite in fear.

Miroku came to the cliff and the waterfall and looked down, then slowly, a dark smirk crossed his face right before he swan-dived in.

Inuyasha blinked, then shook his head as a painful thrumming suddenly developed as the vision stopped. "What in the name of hell was that?!"

HISSSSSS...

He stiffened as he caught a rancid smell, like that of copper and alloys that had aged in water and dead animals mixed, then flexed his fingers, ready to attack the thing behind him. He turned and raised his hand, then paused.

It was a snake, and a big one at that, longer than he was tall and standing for the most part upright on its tail, the tip coiled into a small circle below it to serve as a base. It was an odd color of rusted red, with purple and brown stripes across its body and a gold, armored underside. Its eyes were the eerie part, though. They weren't yellow like a snake's eyes, nor red like those of a demon, but almost just like a human's eyes, the color of his own to match its belly. This was no ordinary viper, THAT was for sure!

"If you're lookin' for a meal, you got the wrong guy to try and munch on, rat-breath."

"No need to be ssso uncccivil," it hissed. Yes, it was a demon-snake, no doubt about it. No normal snake of ANY breed could talk.

He was tensed for a snap attack, knowing that this kind of youkai like all the others was prone to trickery to get a meal, and he didn't doubt for a second that it could eat him in one gulp if he let it. Compared to that flying ice-snake thing they had faced, it was small, but that made no difference. "Wha'da you want, snake?" he asked, suspiciously.

It seemed to frown at him. "I sssee you are looking for the human that wasss here lassst night."

"You saw him?" he asked, caught off-guard by the sudden comment. It nodded. "What happened? Did you see where he went or what happened to him?"

"I sssaw him sssitting here alone and many othersss of our kind sssurrounding him. I do not eat innocccent victimsss, essspecially not onesss that are asssleep and helplessssss, but I could not figure out why THEY had not eaten him yet until I came within range to sssmell the difference in him."

"What do you mean DIFFERENCE? Because he's a monk?"

"I could tell THAT from hisss clothing alone," the snake-youkai said, patiently. "The ssscent of evil wasss all around him, radiating from him like hisss own body heat. Sssomething within him wasss causssing thisss, and though the othersss lossst interessst in him, I wanted to find out what it wasss that a pure human could possssssessssss."

Inuyasha let his arm drop. He had a feeling that, if this youkai hadn't bothered to eat Miroku when he was helpless, it had some honor in it. Maybe it was trustworthy after all. "What happened?"

"Well, I ssstayed and watched him from the cover of the brussshhh long after the othersss had lossst interessst. He ssseemed to be ensssorcccelled, and I confirmed thisss when he awoke. Hisss eyesss were wide and glowing with the evil of the ssspell that had been cassst on him. When it cleared, he panicked and began to ssscream about a wrong he had done to sssomeone in hisss passst. He ran asss if he were pursued by hisss own persssonal demon and leapt from the cliff into the lake. I doubt he isss ssstill alive, for thisss occurred hoursss before sssunrise."

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Oh no, he DID jump?!"

"I would sssuggessst you tell your friendsss." The snake bowed its head, sadly, then turned and lowered its mass back to the ground. "I am sssorry to be the bearer of bad newsss."

"Thank you anyway," he sighed. Now he KNEW it was hopeless. Miroku was really gone...

Inuyasha stood and headed back to the others, and though Sango was now calm and no longer crying, he didn't have the heart to tell her that she was right. He sat silently as Kagome continued to talk her friend down from her sadness. He stayed quiet as he looked out across the lake, then lowered his eyes. //I hope you're proud, you fool,// he thought, bitterly, //knowing that you've broken one person and hurt numerous others just because you couldn't be a man.// With a deep sigh, he frowned to himself and closed his eyes. //Rest well, my friend.//

~

Meanwhile, a pair of little girls no older than five were sitting on a fallen tree that hung several good meters out over the surface of the lake. They were fishing for their breakfast, though they both really doubted that their hair-ribbons tied to limbs of the tree were going to get much attention from anything worth eating. That was okay, though. It was fun, and besides, they could always just beg for food. That was effective.

Suddenly, the smaller of the two poked her friend and gasped. "Jiji! Look there!"

Jiji looked at her friend and blinked. Mika was pointing excitedly into the lake. Curious, she allowed her eyes move to the place indicated and she jumped. "What's that?"

"It's a octopus!" Mika exclaimed. "Jiji, wha'da we do?"

"It's not an octopus," Jiji said, matter-of-factly. She was older than Mika was, and she knew more, and she could see better too. It was a big piece of cloth, but that might be helpful, and it wasn't too far away, neither. Curiously, she snapped a long branch off the tree and hooked it, then pulled it in and inspected it. "See? Cloth, not octopus."

"Ooh, it's pretty! Can I have it?"

"It's wet," Jiji said, frowning. "Gotta dry it first...wonder who lost it..."

Suddenly, Mika lost it again. "OOH! OOH! OCTOPUS!"

Jiji sighed. That was her favorite monster, no doubt, with the way she accused everything that floated by of being one. She followed her finger again, but this time, it wasn't just a cloth. It was a man, she could tell, and he was floating face-down in the water. "Uh-oh, not an octopus, Mika, but I think you might be close...come here and take this." She pulled the light blue cloth off the stick and handed it to her smaller friend, then grabbed her by the waist and held her out near the edge of the tree. "Poke him, see if he moves."

Mika blinked, then jabbed at the floating man with the branch and shook her head. Nope, nothing. "I think he's just a big dolly."

"I think he's just a dead guy," Jiji muttered under her breath. She sighed, then jumped into the water and went under to get a better look. She caught his arm to prevent herself from floating, noting with a mental gawk that he was floating with his eyes open, and he was so pale he was glowing. He hadn't been dead long, apparently. Maybe he was salvageable, and if not, his robe was nice and they could always use more food. Knowing Mika's aunt, eating a dead person wouldn't be beyond her morals. She was so weird, she might even suggest keeping him, just so they'd have something male in the house! Jiji frowned, then surfaced and gripped his back to keep afloat without kicking. "Mika, come in here and help me get him to shore!" she called.

Mika frowned and looked around, nervously. "But what if there's octopuses?"

Jiji rolled her eyes, then paused as she spotted his right hand. There was a necklace on his arm! "See that?" she asked, pointing to it. "You can have the pretty necklace if you help me."

"Ooh...pretty..." Mika looked around, then took a deep breath and jumped in. She surfaced and took his left arm. "Okay, we get him to the land, right?"

"Right, but we have to hurry. If he's dead too long he might start to mold, and if he'ss alive, he might be in pain.

They both began to kick, each gripping an arm, and they made good time to the shore. In no time, both girls were fighting to drag him up onto the sand.

"He was lighter in the water!" Mika complained.

Jiji grunted as she hauled fruitlessly on his right arm, keeping her grip by grasping the necklace. "No duh, now PULL!"

~

Inuyasha jumped as something in the passing breeze caught his attention. He whiffed again, then honed his ears in a bit with a little twitch. "Miroku?"

The others all stared at him.

"He's becoming delusional," Shippo said, sighing. "Must be the grief."

He ignored the kitsune and looked at Kirara. "You smell that?"

Her nose twitched a bit and in moments she was on her feet, looking around wildly. She nodded.

"What am I missing here?" Kagome asked, blinking at him.

The hanyou stood and looked out from the place they stood, then narrowed his eyes and began combing the waters with them. He knew Miroku's scent by heart, just as he knew those of the others, but it was washed out. He was somewhere near, and Inuyasha had a terrible feeling that he was either dead or close to it by the congealing scent of blood mingled with it. He had to be somewhere, his body or him, either one was...

"Wait!" he shouted. His eyes narrowed further and he leaned over the edge of the cliff, staring hard at the form he saw there. There were two small ones, standing over a larger one that was cloaked in dark navy blue... "MIROKU!"

"WHAT?!" Sango shrieked, jumping up and grabbing him so suddenly that he nearly fell off the cliff. She gasped. "OhMyGod! It's him!"

Kagome and Shippo piled onto his back too, looking out over the water at the still figure. "He's not moving..." Shippo muttered.

"We better get down there fast!"

"Kirara!" Sango barked, suddenly. The fire-cat took her larger form and the huntress leapt onto her back, grabbing Shippo by the tail and Kagome by the arm. She pulled them both on. "Come on, let's go!"

Inuyasha jumped on behind Kagome just before the youkai jumped into the air and headed for the area where the body was lying in the sand. //Please, please let him be alive.//

~

//Please let him live, please, let him live!// Sango chanted this in her head as they flew toward the bay. As they drew closer, the forms became very easily discernible. Miroku was definitely there and in one piece, and there was a wet little girl standing on either side of him, both staring down at him with wide, curious eyes. "Hurry, Kirara!"

In moments, they landed on the sand and Sango practically scrambled off her pet's back to get to Miroku, who lay pale and unmoving.

The girls looked at her. "Who are you?" the taller one asked. She had longer hair and she looked braver, while her friend was whimpering behind her.

"Friends," Kagome said. "This is our friend. Did you find him?"

The girl nodded. "Yeah."

"Thought he was an octopus," the other one peeped, softly.

Sango dropped to her knees and inspected him, worriedly. His face was so pale that he might've lit up in the dark, and his hair was tangled terribly in a mass that made him look more than dead. His chest was still, he wasn't breathing, and as she reached out and touched his face, she realized that he was chilled to the bone. "Oh God," she whispered. She stooped down and took his pulse, finding to her horror that there was none, then placed her head against his chest, praying to hear the thrumming of his heartbeat.

Not a sound, not even slightly. He was silent, all the way through. There was no warmth in his body, no life in his face, and a terrifyingly peaceful, resigned expression set in place for eternity. He was gone.

But she wasn't ready to let him go! She wasn't! "NO!" she shrieked, pounding her fist against his chest. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

"Wow, she's mad," the taller girl muttered. Her friend whimpered again and both backed away.

Sango was losing the cohesion that kept her stable at a rate unlike any other, and she was desperate for the slightest little sign that he was all right. She wanted it to be a nightmare. She wanted to wake up to find him peeking in her yukata, or watching her sleep, or even attempting to grab somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. She wanted to wake up and have him staring back at her. She wanted him to live, not to die...

"I won't let you do this to me!" she shouted at him, tears streaming down her face. She hit his chest again with all her might. "I don't care if I have to beat your corpse back to life, you will NOT leave me here this way! Do you hear me?! YOU ARE *NOT* LEAVING ME HERE, MIROKU!"

Kagome and the others stared in shock, but the girl from the future was too good a friend to leave her alone with way. "Sango...I know it's hard to lose a friend...but I don't think shouting will make it any better..."

"You don't understand!" Sango bawled, clutching at his sopping wet robes. "I can't let him leave, I can't! I can't keep going without him here!" She pounded his chest with both fists this time and she didn't stop, hitting him so hard that she was sure his skin was going to break at the point of contact. "I can't do it! I CAN'T!!!"

"Sango..."

"***NO***!" she shrieked with all her might. And then, without warning, a deadly calm hit her and she continued to sob, her blows against his chest slowly weakening until she was barely tapping him. The agony she felt was indescribable. Her throat contracted and her stomach turned as she held onto him, her head bowed, and every word she spoke was hard to force out, as if she were talking through a mouthful of mud. "I. WON'T. LET. HIM. GO." She paused and looked down at his pale complexion, then gently brushed the sloppy bangs from his face. "I. CAN'T. DO. IT."

Kagome peered at her with such pity and sadness in her eyes, but she didn't speak again. She grabbed onto Inuyasha and buried her face in his shoulder. "Inuyasha..."

He embraced her, supportively, but he was silent.

Sango looked down at him again, then closed her eyes as the tears came with a vengeance, scalding her cheeks as they flowed. Slowly, she stooped down and rested her head against his still, cold and beaten chest, clutching handfuls of the soaked navy robe. "How could you..." she whispered. "How could you do this...how could you do this to your friends... to me...to your son...?"

Closing her eyes, she wondered if it would be right to just lay here until she died too, and she wondered if it would really matter if she did. He was already gone, and she had no chance of saving him.

~

{"How could you do this...?"}

In the blackness of oblivion, a lost soul contemplated words that floated to deaf ears. Why he could hear them was unexplainable, but he could. //I'm selfish, I can do what I want to,// he thought, stubbornly. No name was given to the owner of these thoughts or exclamations, because the owner was no longer a person. He was just another nameless lost soul on his way, but his journey was taking so long, as if oblivion was all that awaited him. It wasn't as if his life was something he could reflect on. It was like being asleep in the dark...you could only think so much, and remember so little...but he remembered why he was here. //I have no reason for living anymore...it's better this way...// He didn't know why, but it was, just the same.

{"How could you do this to your friends...?"}

His friends...he remembered his friends...didn't he? It was so foggy...like every thought from his life was just floating away, disappearing because their owner no longer had a mind to store them in... //My...friends...?//

Echoes of voices from the past rung through the darkness, suddenly, and he was reminded of his friends...

A man's voice, loud and nasal. /'Hey! Keep your hands to yourself, PRIEST!'/

//...that's familiar...but...I'm not a priest...I'm a...a...//

A child's voice, cute, but aggravating. /'Miroku! Why did you leave us without saying anything?!'/

//...Mi...Miroku...? Is that my name...?//

A girl's voice, soft and caring. /'Miroku! We were worried about you!'/

//Me...why...why me...? Why worry about something so worthless...? They...came looking for me...who? What am I...it's all so blurred...//

{"...to me...?"}

A soft, female voice that eclipsed all the rest. The words were accompanied by a sharp pain, even though the spirit had no body...it was a memory. /'Pervert! Keep your hands to yourself!'/

//...What?...//

/'Are you injured, Miroku?'/

//...why does that voice...it...does something to me...what? Why...?//

/'Lord Monk...?'/

//No, not that...no, I hate that...but...wha...//

And then, something formed from the fog of whatever mind he had, and one name came up from the darkness.

//...Sango...I...I love Sango...// Everything was fading, but at that thought, a spear of light broke the darkness only for a moment.

~

THUMP-THUMP.

Sango opened her eyes and blinked. Had she heard what she thought? Had that been her imagination, or had it really...?

~

{"...To your son...?"}

//...my...son...my child...? Why...?//

That child's voice again, softer, in a whisper. /'He says he has bad eyes...'/

//...so familiar...but I can't...wait, I think...bad eyes...I...have...bad eyes...me...but...why...?//

And then, another child's voice, much softer, soothing and calming, but not to this soul. It stirred memories...terrible ones.

/'Father...are we going to die?'/

Fear. Utter fear and hatred all at once, waves of it in a raging storm within him. Hatred for himself, fear for the child. //A child should not die...why...he asks me because he...wants me to protect him...but...I couldn't...// Something was coming...a thought...a...memory...

[\\"Mushin..." a boy sitting in silence with an old man, peering at a curse engraved in his bloodline, "tell me...if normal people quest for happiness because they know they can obtain it...why did my father quest?"

The old monk looked at him and he sighed. "Miroku..."

"Tell me, Mushin," the boy insisted. "Why? If he knew his life would end, if he knew it was all futile and that he couldn't beat Naraku, why did he keep going? What...what made him fight?"

There was silence for a long moment, and slowly, the massive man looked down at him with a sigh. "His love for you."

"What?"

"You heard me. Even though he knew it was pointless, he spent his life trying to find Naraku so you wouldn't have to, but when the time came that he knew he had no chance, he gave me directions to train you so you WOULD have a chance. So you would be able to succeed where he had failed."

"But...he wastes so much time just teaching me things I never learned...his fight was in vain, and I'll never destroy Naraku...and then our bloodline will never be cleared."

"Well, Miroku, if your father believed in you enough to spend his precious little time giving you the chance to save yourself, I think you're worth believing in. Besides...no father wants his child to be put in the face of danger...he wanted to spare you the pain, but he wanted you to know how to save yourself when he failed. He loved you that much..."\\]

Another spear of light in the darkness, and suddenly, the cold fingers of the other world began to lose their grip. The fog on the spirit's mind was lifting.

//Mushin...my...my Father...he...sacrificed his life...for...me...//

~

THUMP-THUMP.

She jumped and looked right at him, then took a deep breath. //I heard it that time...I heard it...//

~

And then, one voice broke through the fog with four simple words, and the spirit felt the sudden strength to fight his death.

/'Are you my Daddy?'/

//...Mikiro...Mikiro...my...my son! I have to save my son!//

~

THUMP-THUMP...THUMP-THUMP...THUMP-THUMP...

Inuyasha's ears twitched as Sango sat up and gasped. "Oh my gods, he's alive!" the hanyou shouted, pointing.

Without a thought, Sango did as she was taught by tilting his head back and parting his lips. If he was still alive and he came back with water in his lungs, he would drown all over again. She had to make him breathe. Carefully, she placed her lips to his, all the while thinking, //Don't you dare leave me now...//

~

The spirit felt the strength returning as the darkness began to shatter like so much glass all around him.

Miroku. His name was Miroku, and he couldn't die yet. He had a mission to save his family, his friends, and his child. His son was depending on him for protection, and he was depending on him to destroy Naraku, because if he didn't...Mikiro would have to, and he would not burden his son with that fear. He was not going to die.

//I have to save him! I have to! This was a mistake! The cliff, the lake...oh, I'm a fool! I should've seen it before! If I die like a coward my son will have to face that monster, knowing that I let him down!//

The darkness gave way to a dull, muddy red, and senses returned ever so slowly. Life was returning to him, just as he had tried to leave it.

Voices. He heard voices, and felt pressure against his chest, striking him repeatedly. It was...painful. He was starting to feel again. A terrible thrumming in his chest that brought with it burning pain through every inch of his being, a retching in his stomach and a burning in his lungs, a need for air that was so intense it was overpowering.

"Wow, he isn't dead? Creepy, he looked really dead to me!"

"I still think it's an octopus..."

"Hurry, Sango, before his heart stops again!"

Sango? He was quickly becoming aware of the panting near him, and a repeated pattern of a softness engulfing his mouth, followed by a pain in his lungs and several hard thumps against his chest.

"Come on, breathe!" a voice shouted, desperately, sounding winded and tired, but determined. "Breathe, damn you, breathe!"

Sango! It was her, he knew it! She was...

That froze him up inside, but only for a moment. His mind was still too blurry to work right...

Suddenly, his head rushed and his eyes came open, and everything whirled into a painful spin.

~

Sango moved the moment his eyes snapped open, wide and dilated to the point that they were black, and he turned over onto his stomach and began retching up amazing amounts of water. She might've been disgusted, or even worried, had she not been so shocked and happy at the same time.

The others were silent as he sat on his hands and knees, soaked and coughing up water, shuddering wildly and grasping handfuls of the damp sand in his fists as he choked, apparently very grateful for the air. No one said a word until he finished and fell onto his back again, staring up at the sky with glazed eyes while he gasped and panted deeply.

Sango slowly leaned over him, her eyes burning with the need to weep. She waited patiently until his eyes shifted and slowly came to focus on her. "Miroku?" she breathed, so softly that she thought he might not have heard it.

Ever so slowly, his head lolled to the side and he looked at her, weakly. "...Sango..."

"Oh my God, you're alive!" she cried. She clung to him instantly, crying hysterical tears of utter joy and relief as she felt his chest rise and fall at a steady but forceful rate. "You're really alive..."

His hand came to rest on her back, but she noticed it only partially until his spoke, his voice hoarse, his tone weak and tired. "I'm alive...I'm really alive..."

Suddenly, on an impulse from hell that she couldn't refuse, Sango sat up and looked down at him, staring hard and long before finally stooping down again, her lips meeting his in a forceful kiss, filled with utter happiness and grateful passion. He was still with her, and she still had a chance to tell him how she felt...

After what felt like forever, she let go of him, ignoring the gawking of her friends, and looked down at him. Slowly, she frowned. He'd stopped breathing again, and his eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open and a look of utter shock stuck on his face. It would've been comical, had she not been so stressed. And then, slowly, his mouth shut and his lips curled into a huge grin. With that, his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted.

There was dead silence from then on, and the only ones not smiling were Inuyasha, the girls and Kirara. A moment passed, and the taller of the two finally spoke. "I think you killed him."

****

To Be Continued

Xandra: Can we all say "YAY!" I know you can! See? I didn't kill Miroku, but I bet I scared you! ^_^ I'm evil, what can I say? Like the ending? Well, THIS one's ended, but there's a LOT more after this, so don't y'all worry!

Okay, on another note, I'm advertising for my other stories right now. If you're into yaoi, I do that too, and if you like Gundam Wing, GO TO MY PROFILE AND START READING, I HAVE A LOT OF THEM! I also have an original fiction posted called Midnight Sun (yes, yaoi in that too, but mostly shonen ai [the stuff that makes you wanna shriek "AWWWWWW!"]) I'll soon be posting something else for those of us who are into supernatural stuff, as we all know I am, but it's a bit creepy (yes, more shonen ai), so keep an eye out for my newest one, "Dark Illustrations: Sketches in Blood."

Thanx for reading, and I'll update when I can! REVIEW, PEOPLE, REVIEW!