Author's Name: wic
Author's E-mail: [email protected]
Pairing: Willow & Spike

Rating: PG to be on the save …but will become NC17 ( I`m not good at this )

Disclaimer: They`re not Mine *cry* , coz if, they would talk german *bg*

Distribution: my site wacky witch willow (http://mitglied.lycos.de/purewicca/allthingswic.htm ), all the people that have my stuff, others please tell me.

Summary: everybody needs somebody to love and Willow is no exception .

Warning : A little season 6 ! you have been warned.

Author`s Note 1: This is after season 6. But coz I have never seen it it`s my version. Tara is death. Spike & Buffy have never…you get it.Xander and Anja are still together…*g*
Author's Note 2: I do not really know what this will be…I only now that I have a lot of fun with it.

Thanks and Dedication : Thanks for helping, sweet Mel you are the light in my head *wink*. And to my other Lady`s you are all nuts and I love you for it !

Feedback: I will not beg…I`m a strong person… I don`t need to beg…..ok I do …pleaseee !

Part 1

Willow was still in shock. How had this happened?

Two days ago everything had been normal. Well, as normal as it could be in Sunnydale.

After all the things that had taken place in the last year. After Tara's death.

And now this!

Willow looked down at the small bundle in her arms.

She had only done a small ritual to ask the goddess for somebody to love.

However, she hadn't thought of a baby as it.

“What am I going to do?” she murmured to herself.

She couldn't call Giles. Not that she was afraid, but he was still not in town.

Buffy and Dawn were at that moment on a little vacation with their dad, and Xander and Anya were surely doing things she'd rather not know about.

“First, we need a name for you,” Willow stated, as she laid the baby down on the bed.

“Let me see what we have here.” After a little search, Willow found the only thing that could be used as a diaper was an old pink sweater.

“I don't need this one any more, so, why not?” she declared and began to change the baby's diaper.

“Eww...we have a little girl. OK, then, we need a pretty name.” Willow was glad for the first time in her life that her mother had her made her babysit her little cousins at every family gathering, so she had no problems dealing with the baby.

“How about we call you Gili? That`s Hebrew and means 'my joy',” Willow said, looking into blue eyes that looked older than the world.

“I think this it is what the goddess meant.” She lifted the baby into her arms, buried her face in her curls and breathed in the sweet scent of baby.

“Now, I think we need to get some things for you. We need diapers, coz I don`t have any other sweaters we can use,” she tickled the little chin.

”And food. We will need food and...We will have to make a list so we don`t forget anything. I think the child's seat still is in the attic...

-------

Half an hour later, it looked as if Willow had shopped for the third World War.

And not once had she thought about Tara and her loss.

“I have to admit this to you, I feel a certain satisfaction,” Willow whispered into Gili`s ear as she handed the credit card her mother always left her to the cashier.

Her attention on the baby as they left the supermarket, she rammed another shopping cart with her own.

“Sorry,” she said distractedly, not even looking away from Gili as she walked directly to the car.

If she had looked up, she would have seen a very surprised Oz.

He had come back to Sunnydale to make a last attempt to get Willow back, but what he had just seen made him turn around and run to the car.

She had a baby, which could only mean that she had someone new in her life.

All the things he had imagined to say or do after he had heard that Tara, the woman who had stolen her from him, had died were now wrecked.

He would leave and this time he would never come back.

So he watched with tears in his eyes as she packed the car and then drove away.

But he was not the only one that watched as the car left the parking lot.

“Bloody Hell!” And with that, the dark figure turned and left to find out more.

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Part 2

Willow was happy with herself and Gili. They had carried in all the purchases and packed them away.

Then they had taken a bath. She had told Gili a goodnight story and the baby was now fast asleep.

Willow was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate, making a list of things she would need for Gili.

She had thought about calling her mother, but as she had reached for the phone the blinking light on the answering machine told her that somebody had called.

Willow's grip tightened around the cup as she remembered what her father had said in his message. Her parents had decided to stay in Texas.

They had already bought a new house and, to Willow's surprise, they had kindly made clear that they would not come back and that Willow could have the house in Sunnydale.

Ira had already opened an account years ago, knowing that this day would come. She had a lot of money with monthly checks she had earned with her computer programs, so this was no problem, but what made her mad was that the only thing her mother had said was that she wished her only daughter all the luck with her life and it would be nice if she could send them certain personal belongings.

Deep in dark thought, at first she did not hear the knock on the door. She was hurt. Never had she imagined that her parents would leave her this way.

When she finally heard it, the knocking had become very loud. Afraid that whoever it was that seemed to want to break down the door any second would wake Gili, she hurried to the door.

“Spike! What you are doing here?” Willow asked the vampire after the first shock of seeing him had worn off.

“I was in the area and told myself I should look after you, since you're all by yourself, and what would I tell the others if they all come back and something has eaten you?” Spike said while making his way into the kitchen.

He could smell the baby all over Willow and he would not go until he found out what was going on.

Willow, hoping that Gili would sleep while Spike was here, had no intensions of telling the vampire that she was not alone. So she decided the best thing would be to act as if nothing had happened.

Spike caught a few of the items on the list that lay on the kitchen table. As he reached out to pick it up for a closer look, Willow pushed him aside and a second later the paper was gone.

“Do you want hot chocolate? With little marshmallows?” Willow asked in the hope that the vampire had not seen the details of the list or that he was not curious about it.

“Sure,” Spike sat himself and watched how stiffly Willow moved. After he took a sip of the hot chocolate, he let his blue eyes travel over Willow.

He had always been curious about her. First she was only the littly shy girl in the pink sweaters that followed the Slayer like a little lost puppy.

Then she was a witch who had a lot of power but not the knowledge or the training to use it.

Now, after working with them, he had learned that she was the reason that the slayer was still alive. And after all of the things that had happened over the last year, he knew a lot more about her.

She had so many sides, and everytime he thought he now knew who Willow was, he learned something new.

Not to mention, the last thing he had learned was that she was able to love somebody so much that not even her bright soul could hold her back when it came to revenge.

“What?” Willow didn't liked the way Spike looked at her, it was as if he could see straight into her soul.

“Nothing. Or, better yet, why don't I ask you the same question, pet?” The vampire loved the way her face flushed. The little chit had really thought that she could hide something from him.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Willow got up and started washing out her cup.

Spike moved so fast that Willow did not see him coming. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around so that her nose was pushed against his chest. He put his hands on the sink on either side of her. With his right hand under her chin he forced her to look into his eyes.

“Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about, my little bird. Tell me about the baby that is sleeping in your room,” he said, breathing deeply of her scrent.

Willow was confused. Why was she so nervous? Was it because of her use of magic or was it him that made her heart hammer in her chest like a air hammer. She knew that there was nothing she should be afraid of. Yes, he was a vampire, but he could not hurt her so why not tell him everything?

“I used magic again. I know that I shouldn't have, but I was so lonely, and I think that, as usual, I did something wrong, coz now I have Gili,” Willow spoke so fast that Spike, even with his vampire senses had problems following her ramble. And this made it possible for Willow to slip away from under his arms.

She was ready to answer his questions as well as she could when Spike looked at the ceiling.

“She is awake,” he said.

“Oh, do you want to see her?” Willow was already on the way to her room. She was still not sure if it was a good idea to tell Spike all about Gili. But he was the only one around and it was nice to talk to somebody without getting 'that look'. The look she was afraid of seeing everytime she looked into another's face, as if she could any second become a monster.

“Sweetie, why are you awake?” As always, when she looked at the baby all her worries disappeared.

“She needs a new diaper,” Spike giggled.

Willow's head shot up. Did she just imagine things or had the big bad giggled like a little girl? Not brave enough to ask, she walked to the cupboard and fetched the items she needed.

When she turned around, Spike had Gili in his arms. He looked very comfortable with the baby, as if he had done it a thousand times. Again, Willow packed this information away to think about it later.

“Spike, may I introduce you to Gili…Rosenberg.” Gili was looking at Spike as if he was the most normal thing in the world while he changed into his demonface and back, smiling like an maniac.

“Can I do that?” Spike asked as he watched Willow getting everything ready.

A little surprised, she smiled at him, “If you want."

Two minutes later a happy, and now dry, Gili gurgled as she was cuddled in Spike's arms.

“Spike I will need to get a lot of things for Gili. Do you...I mean, would you like...with me...I mean with us...” Willow was afraid. Why would he want to do anything with her? But he looked so happy with the baby in his arms. ”Would you like to come with Gili and me to the mall to buy all the things I will need for her?”

“No problem, Red. I saw the list and you two women will need a man to help you,” he tickled Gili's little feet and was not aware of the joy on Willow's face. At this moment she realized how lonesome she had been.

“Thanks,” she said turning around so he could not see the tears in her eyes.

“I'll now go,” Spike said as he laid Gili down on the bed. ”I will be here a little after sundown.”

“We'll be ready,” Willow said as she turned around, but he was already gone. The only thing left was the smell of leather and old smoke.

She lay down beside Gili and breathed deeply.

Spike looked up to the balcony of Willow's room.

“She should know that I can smell tears,” he murmured as he lit his cigarette.

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Part 3

Willow found it funny that not only was she excited, but Gili looked like she was ready to scream if they did not go soon. She had started to get a little worried that Spike would not show up. She looked at her baby and thanked the goddess for her gift. Gili was the light of her day. They belonged together.

Gili was a happy little baby, never bad-tempered. They had spent half of the day on the floor and the rest in the tub. Willow had always loved a long bath but with Gili the short time in the tub was so much more fun.

With a short, hard knock on the door Spike made his presence known. With Gili on her hip, Willow opened the door and as soon as the baby laid eyes on him she smiled, and Willow did the same.

“Ready to go, pets?” Spike could not believe that he, the big bad, a master vampire, was ready to go shopping with the slayer's witch and a little baby. This was like playing happy family.

If, in the old days, he'd known a vampire that behaved like he did now, he would have staked him.

They silently drove to the shopping center. The only sound in the car was Gili gurgling in the back seat, which made Spike and Willow smile.

Willow`s first purchase was a baby carriage, which made the rest of the shopping trip a lot easier for them.

Not that it was easy to find one that Spike and Willow liked.

Spike wanted the black one and Willow loved the carriage with little butterflies on it. In the end they purchased a dark blue one with red hearts on it.

After they had everything, from the pacifier to all of the baby furniture, which would be delivered the next day, they made a brief stop so Willow could eat something.

Spike sat with Gili on his lap and listened to Willow as she told him about the call from her parents.

She did everything not ot show him how badly it hurt to have parents like this, but she failed miserably.

He could not believe it. How could somebody as caring as Willow have parents like that.

“But, I can be happy I have a house and a lot of money,” Willow said, looking at the rest of her meal, no longer hungry.

“And I have Gili,” she added, looking directly at Spike.

“Yes, and you have me, too, luv.” Spike was shocked. Where the bloody hell had that come from? He was going soft about a little girl. He looked at Gili and then again at Willow.

“…soft about two little girls…” he growled to himself.

“Let`s go and get the rest,” Willow didn't want to think about what had just happened. That would ruin this day, this special day.

“ We still need something?” Spike asked, confused.

“Clothes,” was the answer and they made their way toward the next store.

After they stopped in every store that carried baby clothes, Spike dragged Willow into a leather store and was now trying everything to convince Willow to buy something he considered important.

“No, Spike, she doesn`t need a leather coat,” Willow said, laughing.

“But, Red, look how cute she is in it,” Spike used his best puppy eyes to get his way. And his little helper Gili looked as sweet as sugar as he held her up in front of Willow's face wearing the little black coat.

“OK, she is cute. But in four month it won't fit,” Willow sounded like a mother talking to a little kid, which only made Spike more stubborn.

“Then we buy a new one,” Spike didn't want to lose this fight.

“No,” Willow said, pointing at her resolve face. She took Gili from him, and took off the coat, and left the shop, convinced that she had won.

“I`m the master,” Spike mumbled as he was paid for the coat, not noticing the strange look he was getting from the salesman.

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Part 4

When they arrived home, Gili was fast asleep and while Spike unpacked the car Willow pot her to bed.

They acted as a team, well used to playing together.

“Which room will be hers?” Spike asked as they sat in the kitchen, again drinking hot chocolate.

“I think it would be best to give her the guestroom. It`s the room next to mine.”

“That`s a good idea. When do your parents get their stuff?” he asked, not sure if this was a good idea, but he had thought about something on the way home and before he could ask, he needed to know a few things.

“I will pack them together tomorrow morning, and then I have this firm that will come and get it in the afternoon.” She had no clue why Spike was so interested, but it was so good to have somebody to talk to again that she would do everything to not lose this.

“I'll get going, now,” Spike got ready to leave.

Willow followed him to the door, not sure if she could ask him if he would be back on the next evening or not.

“I hope you'll have everything ready when I come,” he said and then the door closed in front of Willow.

“Everything ready?”

-------

Willow was lying on the couch with Gili on her chest, both a little sleepy after all the packing, when a knock sounded at the door. The packer had left them ten minutes ago, and it was still daylight, so the only person it could possibly be entered without giving Willow a chance to stand up.

“Will, it’s the Xan-man where are you! Anya and I thought about getting pizza...” The two intruders stopped in the middle of the living room, or rather, Xander did. Anya let out a little sequel and stormed to Willow.

“This is a baby. A baby. I so love babies. Is it a girl? Or a boy? I like girls more,” the ex-demon said, not stoping to breathe.

Willow, a little schocked anserwed like a machine. ”Yes, it's a baby and yes, it's a girl. Her name is Gili. Do you want to hold her?” This question made Anya look into Willow's face for the first time.

“YES,” she breathed.

Willow sat up and placed the little girl in Anya's waiting arms.

“Willow, whose baby is this?” Xander asked with a little burning feeling in his gut that he would not like the answer.

“I used magic…” Xander stopped her in the middle of the sentence.

“You did what? Do you remember that you've sworn that you will never do it again? Do you remember what happened last time? You wanted to kill all of us! You wanted to end the world!” Xander screamed.

Willow was now standing in the middle of the room, tense, her eyes closed.

Slowly a river of tears ran down her face.

“Xander, stop it! Look at her,” Anya pointed in Willow's direction with her chin.

“Willow, oh, I'm sorry,” Xander walked over to his best friend since childhood and took her in his arms.

“I`m really sorry. It`s just that I still have this fear of losing you,” he whispered in her ear as he made little calming sounds.

"I`m sorry Xander. I know all these things, but I was so lonely, and it was only a little spell. I never want to...I only asked the Goddess for somebody to love and she gave me Gili, and that`s not a bad thing. And Spike...."

“Deadboy jr.? What does he have to do with this?” Xander was again in battle mode.

“Stop it Xander. He has nothing to do with me and the magic, but he found out about Gili and helped me. He will be coming over …”

“How did he help?” Anya interrupted.

“He helped me get all the things for Gili and he will be here soon to help me set up her room,” Willow whispered.

“Xander, you and Willow talk about everything, and I will watch the baby,” Anya said and then she babytalked to Gili, ”I will be your babysitter.”

-------

When Spike arrived after the sun had set, he immediately noticed the presents from Anya and Xander.

This could only mean that they now knew everything and his face fell. All day long he had thought about Gili and Willow and how much he had enjoyed the time with them. Not that he would tell anyone that he felt this way.

But to lose all this would hurt, he was no better than the bloody poof.

With this thought in mind, it was no wonder that he had vamped out as he knocked on the door.

Xander, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on in the brain of the vampire, so as he opened the door his instincts first screamed 'run' and scream is what he did.

Spike had no chance to react, it all happened too fast, even for a vampire. The last thing he remembered was that he had knocked on the door.

Then it was opened by the moron and now the moron was lying on top of him, still screaming like he was insane.

“Stop it! What the hell do you think you are doing?” Spike shoved him aside.

Willow and Anya stormed out of the house to see what had happened and looked at Spike, who now was standing, and a blushing Xander, who had no intension of explaining why or what had just happened.

“Nothing...you still have the chip.” He turned and looked at Willow and Anya, “He still has the chip.”

“Fuck off. Of course, I still have this bloody thing in my head,” Spike replied.

“What happened?” Willow asked.

But both Xander and Spike were too embarrassed to tell what had happened, not that they knew exactly what it was, and so both decided to do the thing all men are good at.

They acted as if nothing had happened.

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“Do you think they know what they're doing?” Anya asked as she watched Willow feeding Gili.

“I don`t know, but the discussion over the best location for the bed stopped an hour ago. Or do you think that they've become buddies?” Willow had to smile.

“I still want to know what happened out there, but they both only say that it was nothing.”

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“Are they still talking about us?” Xander wanted to know .

“Yes,” Spike watched Xander closely. “What did happen out there?”

“I opened the door and you were in vampface,” this, and a shoulder twitch that accompanied the answer, was all Xander was ready to give, but it was enough for Spike and made a lot clear.