F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I'm completly obsessed with Friends, actually, it's kinda sad. Anyway, this is going to be my page for some random quotes and fanlisting. If you wanna submit anything, go back to the main page and look for my email.

.::Friends Quotes::.

The super six playing poker

Chandler: We're gonna flip for the baby?
Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: Call it in the air...
Joey: Heads!
Chandler: Heads! Yes! ...We have to assign heads to someone.
Joey: Okay, well, ducks will be heads because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns went to your birthday party?

.::More Quotes::.

Chandler: Ya know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But when he gets out of the shower, he wraps a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

Joey: Hold it, hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved into the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl. Really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest adam's apple. It made me nuts.
Chandler: You or me?
Ross: I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have adam's apples.
Joey: You guys are messin; with me, right?
All: Yeah.
Joey: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "woah!"

Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer!

Ross: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
Chandler: Why yes, Ross. Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia!

Joey: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Like, like, when I'm doing something exciting, and I don't wanna get too excited, I just, ahh, y'kno, try to think of other things, like ah, sandwitches!And ah...baseball! And ah...Chandler!
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: No no, thank you!

Ross: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want, but married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, livin' in a box!

Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing!
Monica: No!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandler Bong.
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use your head!
Chandler: Actually, that's MISS Chanandler Bong.

Chandler: ::dances around:: Once I was a wooden boy!!

Ross: According to Chandler, what natural phenemon scares the bejezus out of him?
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Joey: The Irish jig guy?
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent from his body!

Ross: It tastes like feet!
Joey: I like it.
Ross: Are you kidding?
Joey: What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooood.

::rooster crows::
Rachel: What the hell is that?
::rooster crows again::
Rachel: What the hell is that? Is that you?
::rooster crows::
Rachel: ::growling noise::
Monica: Boy, you are really not a morning person, are you?
Rachel: Back off! ::pounds on Chandler and Joey's door::
Chandler: ::opens door and looks confused::
Rachel: What Is that noise?
Chandler: You!

Chandler's childhood Houseboy: More turkey, Mr. Chandler?

Ross: It starts at eight, we can't be late.
Phoebe: We could not, would not, want to wait.

Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat?

::listens to answering machine voice::
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. ::imitates machine:: You have two new messages...please pass the pie.

Joey: Hi, I'm Chandler. Could I be wearin' any more clothes?

Ross: ::imitates Chandler:: The hills are alive, with the sound of music.

Reporter: I like that, what's your name?
Phoebe: Phoebe. That's P as in Phoebe, H as in Hebe, E as in ebe, B as in Bebe, and E as in 'ello there mate!

::talking about staying at the dry cleaners::
Monica: Are you kidding me? This is where they get out stains--this is like Disneyland for me!

Ross: Why hello Mrs. Ross!!
Rachel: Why hello, Mr. Rachel!

Joey: What kinda name is Chandler, anyway? I mean, it's kinda like chandilier, but it's NOT!!

Monica: My boots! Do you have my boots?
Chandler: Why, yes. You can check my saddlebags while I chew on some hay!

Chandler: She's got you runnin' errands...pickin' up wedding dresses...haha, whoopah!
Joey: What's "whoopah"?
Chandler: You know, whipped...whoopah!
Joey: That's not whipped! Whipped is "whoop-chh!" (<--whipped noise)
Chandler: That's what I did! Whoopah!
Joey: You can't do anything!

Chandler: Is she crazy?
Phoebe: Like a straw!
Chandler: ::gives Phoebe weird look::
Phoebe: You know, crazy straws!! ::flails arms::

Chandler: ::holds up cosmo:: Well, I took the quiz and it turns out I do put carreer before men.

Monica: I KNOW!!!

Phoebe: Oh, no!

Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.
::Chandler says to himself:: Gum would be perfection? I could've said "gum would be nice," or "sure, I'll have a stick," but no. For me, gum...is perfection. I loathe myself.

Ross: Palo, do you speak English?
Palo: See, poco, little.
Ross: Do you know the word, crapweasle?
Palo: ::shakes head no::
Ross: Really? ::encouraging, happy voice:: 'cause you are a huge crapweasel!

Joey: It's like the time that Ross tried to say Butternut Squash, but it came out Squatter Nutbosh!
Ross: Yea, Joe, 'cause that's the same.

::Rachels friend's keep screaming about every little thing::
Phoebe: Oh my God! I have elbows!!
Phoebe and Monica: ::scream and shake arms.::

Chandler: His name's not Spidermen, it's Spider-man
Phoebe: Why is not Spidermen?
Chandler: Well, it's not his last name! It's not like Goldman...there isn't a Gold-man!
Phoebe: There should be a Gold-man.
Chandler: What would his power be?
Phoebe: Whatever he touched turned to gold.
Chandler: Well what if it's already gold?
Phoebe: Well then his work is done.

Joey: How you doin'?

Ross: We were on a break!

Chandler: Not touching, can't get mad! Not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad!
Joey: ::smacks Chandler's hand and gets hummus on Phoebe's dress::
Phoebe: OH-A-OH-OH-OH!
Chandler and Joey: Sorry Phoebe, sorry Phoebe, sorry Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, you, rotten boys!!

Monica: I'm not gonna give him my flower!
Rachel: Mon, if you keep calling it that, no one's ever gonna wanna take it! Oh, and while we're on the subject, a guy's "thing" is not his "tenderness," believe me!

Rachel: Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic!

Ross: What is Chandler Bing's job?
Rachel: He's a transponse....transponster!
Monica: That's not even a word!!

Rachel: ::Sings "Baby Got Back" to Emma::
Emma: ::laughs::
Rachel: Oh, you really do like that, you weird little kid!

Rachel: Okay, so I'm gonna go into Chandler's bedroom, and see if the thing that I think that I know, is actually the thing that I think that I know.
Joey: ::gasp:: You know!
Rachel: And you know!

Phoebe: (to Chandler) I'm looking foreword to having sexual intercourse with you.

Ross: What is the name of Chandler's father's all-male burlesque?
Monica: ::jumps up:: VIVA LAS GAYGAS!

Joey: I'm Joey. I'm digusting. I take my underwear off in other people's homes.

Monica: How'd you get to be so cute, anyway?
Chandler: Well, you see my grandfather was Sweedish, and my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.

Doctor: Oh, and by the way, I love Fonzie.
Chandler: Did he just say...he loves Fonzie?
Ross: Yeah, I think so.
Chandler: ....Alright.

Ross: Wanna hear my speech?
Joey: Oh, am I in it?
Ross: Why yes. After I thank everyone for donating all the money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.

Ross: What was the name of Joey's childhood imaginary friend?
Rachel: Maurice!
Ross: Profession?
Rachel: Space cowboy!
Joey: ::bounces happily::

Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!
Monica: ::gasps::

Chandler: Monica's drunk, and we need to hide her from her parents.
Phoebe: Oh, but I love drunk Monica! She's so much more fun than regular Monica!

Phoebe: Can I tell you a secret?
Rachel: ::nodds::
Phoebe: I want to keep one.

Phoebe: But I'm Regina Phalange! PHALANGE!!!

Rachel: Tag didn't have a last name. He was like Cher...or Moses.

Ross: I've got to go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!

Fanlistings

Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not the lucky bastard that owns Friends (if I was, this would not be the last season), I am just a fan with a wee bit excessive ammount of time on her hands. I do not claim to own any of the characters or quotes, and there's no infringements intended.

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