| ESA HARDAR names new Coach ESA Hardar revealed the name of their new coach this morning at a press conference held at the Egg Dome. With the release of FIFA 2003 just days away fans were presureing the club to release the name of their new coach. Club owner and President, Dan Cardenas, said it took a lot of money and Chicago Fire Asst. coach chatna chicken to persuade this individual to come over to this Great Club. So with the clubs normal theatrics they had the band Kiss open up the press conference. It was a brilliant show despite the absence of original drummer Peter Criss. When the opening band ended, Mr. Cardenas walked out and announced that Sven Goren Erikson will be leaving the England national Team and take over as head coach of the once un-defeated notorious team. Sven promised to bring back the glory days of the once proud club. With the signing of some key players there is no one in the world that can stop this team. |
| (Zurich, Switzerland) FIFA Press Release 2002 ESA HARDAR Press Conference From: Tony Cardenas - FIFA Vice-President; International Club Affairs Despite media reports suggesting the contrary, we would like to clarify the fact that no meeting between Sven-Goran Eriksson and ESA HARDAR will take place. Paul Newman, The FA's Head of Communications told us this morning: "Sven would like to make clear that he is not meeting the Chairman (Dan Cardenas) today. Mr. Eriksson is in Copenhagen where he is attending a UEFA Executive Committee Meeting. "Sven is focusing himself on selecting his party for the squad get-together which begins on November 18." The English F.A. have filed formal charges of tampering with FIFA and Vice President Tony Cardenas has taken on the case."Having past experience with ESA HARDAR I felt it necessary to take this case on myself. As CONCACAF Chairman I dealt with the rogue club on several occasions. I did enjoy the KISS show even though not all the original members were there." No date for the formal trial has been set yet. |
| A NOODLE 1 EXCLUSIVE!! A SNEEK PEEK AT FIFA'S ESA HARDAR COMMITTEE! |
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| THE CAPTAIN NACHO PEDRO |
| THE WIDOWMAKER PUDGE T-BONE |
| LONDON -- Sven-Goran Eriksson said on Monday that he had no intention of resigning as England coach and joining ESA HARDAR. The Swede's future has been called into question by British media following the resignation last month of former chief executive and close ally Adam Crozier. Eriksson had talks with the Football Association and ESA HARDAR's chairman Dan Cardenas on Monday after learning that David Davies and Nic Coward had been appointed as Crozier's acting successors. "I have read a lot (of speculation) recently about ESA HARDAR," Eriksson told a news conference. "It is amazing how many jobs I could have got, but I have not said anything because I wanted to find out for myself what was going on (at the FA). "I also liked the KISS show, but ABBA is my favorite group!" Sven is making reference to the Swedish Super group ABBA which was at one time the leading export of Sweden. They topped the American charts with hits such as "Dancing Queen" and "Fernando". "It is very important to know who your boss is ... I got decisions today and I'm happy with that. Everything is carrying on with my job as before." In related news, ESA HARDAR is yet to accept an invitation to FIFA 2003's Christmas Tournament sponsored by NOE (Noodle One Enterprises) and hosted in Portage, Indiana. "I'm not surprised", said a NOE spokesmen. ""They'll commit at the last minute, but he real test will be if Jesus III will be there!" That remark was made in reference to the scandal ridden FIFA 2000 tournament held over FWI weekend. Jesus III has still not been found, but Jesus IV has been seen training for a possible debut in 2006. This year's tournament promises to be one of the most exciting since FIFA 2000. Rumor has it that the Ice Cream truck that was taken from ESA in 2000 will be the trophy for the big tournament. "I can not speculate on prizes and trophies at this time, but let's just say the winners will get a truck with yellow and white stripes that plays children's music" - Tony Cardenas, FIFA Vice-President |
| NOE EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF THE GRAND PRIZE! AN ICE CREAM TRUCK & MARIACHI BAND COMBO! |
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| PHOTO COURTESY: FIFA THE FIRST CONFISCATION OF THE ICE CREAM TURCK |
| DID ESA HARDAR ACCEPT THE INVITATION TO THE CHRISTMAS TOURNEY? |