| Hi, my name is Noodle. I have to apologize, because I didn't update this website in a prompt and professional manner. I have an excuse, really. Saturday night, I was sitting down at my computer with my Yoohoo 90 oz chugger and some Andy Capp Cheddar Fries, when a knock came at the door. It was 2 a.m., so natually, I was suspicious. Wearing only my "Kiss me if you love Ponch" boxer shorts, I answered the door. Standing there, was a striking 5'11" brunette, 36-24-36, tan, ripped body, wearing a halter top, painted-on black pants, seven inch pumps, and looking distressed. I said, "Can I help you?". And she said, "Oh thank God. I really need your help. My rental car broke down, and I don't know where I am. I'm in town this weekend for a photo shoot for Bisexual Nymphomaniac Monthly. Me and my 3 girlfriends, who are down in the car, just finished the shoot and were heading back to the Radisson, when our car died, right in front of your place. I'm so glad you're awake, and you look pretty handy. Can you give us a hand?" I said, "No, I really don't know anything about cars". She said, "Ohh. Well, I don't mean to impose, but maybe me and my girlfriends could....um.....stay here tonight? I promise we wouldn't be any trouble, in fact, we're all in a giggly mood." I said, "I'm sorry, I have to finish this website for the Sharks, it's really important." She said, "We wouldn't bother you at all. You could do your work, and all we need is your shower to wash off all of this body paint and vaseline from the photo shoot. "I said, "I'm sorry, but this is REALLY important. I wish I could help, but I think you'd better go now." She said, "I understand, have a good night". And then she left, leaving the smell of Obsession in the air. That perfume always puts me to sleep. And that's why I didn't get the website updated. I FELL ASLEEP! Aren't I stupid? I can't believe I fell asleep! I'm a loser! |
| WHY THIS WEBSITE NEVER GETS UPDATED |
| Ask Boyle about his cousin. |