As a matter fact, we are living in an age of strange principles and ideals. It is an age wherein most of our values have changed dramatically. I mean that what was wrong is now right and what was right is now wrong. When you start reading these maxims and proverbs, you might laugh a bitter laugh, you might take some time thinking and reading between the lines to taste the sugar-coated bitterness of these maxims. Are you ready for reading them? Ok, let's go!
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Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. |
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Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito
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It doesn't make any difference how much money you make, your wife can spend it all. |
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The beauty of most women is inversely proportional to the distance of the observer.
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Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
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Opportunities are never lost ; someone will take the one you miss. |
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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
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Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. |
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Never argue with a woman when she's tired. Or rested.
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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It is silly for a woman to go to a male gynecologist. It is like going to an auto mechanic who has never owned his own car.
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One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over againexpecting different results.
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Rule for precision: Measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with an axe.
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
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Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands.
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Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. |
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.
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If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
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I'm the man of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so.
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Discoveries are often made by not following instructions.
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You can't make a baby in a month by getting nine women pregnant.
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Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
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It's a widely accepted fact that if your parents didn't have any children, you won't either.
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One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
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Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will need them an hour later.
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There is always free cheese in a mousetrap
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If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
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Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
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There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.
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The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive.
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One of the oldest human needs is having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
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Nothing is as easy as it looks.
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We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.
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Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class?
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Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
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Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
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You must rest during the day so you can sleep at night.
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Money is the root of all evil and man needs roots.
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He who always finds fault with his friends has faulty friends.
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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
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One should always play fair when he has the winning cards.
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The person who snores the loudest will fall asleep first.
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It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
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Those who are against the freedom of speech must be silenced!
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The intensity of movie publicity is in inverse ratio to the quality of the movie.
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If you are poor, buy expensive things. They will hold too long. |
Ladies first, even to hell. |
The world is full of apathy, but I don't care. |
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If you want to be loved by everyone, hate no one.
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Fuddy-duddy teachers have students who never put on their thinking caps. |
Flattery is the best policy. |
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