September/15/2005/around midnight

Well, everything is looking good so far on Toms cancer in his chest. He went for his treament yesterday and they told him it was shrinking and they are gonna reduce the Radition field to the Tumor.... when it shrinks the will reduce the Radation to that size. The Tumors in his head we don't know about those yet.... he hasn't had enough Radtion on his head long enough to know.

Tom went to get everything thing settled for "For when the time comes". I cried. It's all taken care of. You know.... people have been telling that I'm gonna get a check from SS and so will the 2 children.... one for each of them. I'm sorry but I feel like a greedy person because I know I have to have that money to live on.... I don't want that money..... I WANT TOM! I was telling a friend about that and she said that I'm not being greedy. I know that there is alot of people out there that has had that same feeling that I have. If he dies I get money..... To me.... that just doesn't feel right and I know I'm gonna have to use it.

I'm not greedy and I don't like greed. I honestly don't want to think about it. How come I feel angry about this? I'm very proud of my husband that he worked and held down a job..... not like some of these people out here in the world that DON'T want to work and just want to be LAZY!