September/10/2005

Early yesterday morning Tom felt and looked really, really good. When he got home from his treatment.....the life had just been sucked out..... it took everything I had to not cry (In front of him). Tom has gotten off the couch twice. He goes to his treatment the Radiation at 8:45 and he will get in about 9:45 I think, and he sleeps all day..... he finally got up at about 6 because he promised to take Kacie for a walk at 7. It was slow going but it was a good thing, he was able to get out and go and visit some friends.

On Sept/20/2005 he has to go back to CCOM (Cancer Center Of Muskogee)he thinks the docs. are gonna put him back on Chemo. I was reading in the book Psalm this morning and there is a chapter I had read it is Psalm 40-1-17. It is "Faith Persevering in Trial". I was looking for scriptures for "STRENGTH" God had something else for me. The word "Persever or Perseverance" mean: To continue to do something in spite of the difficulties, obstacles, the act of persevering; continued, patient effort. Continue to pray for Toms fight against this sickness, pray for strength for his body, mind and spirit. Continue to pray for the stress level in our house..... sometimes it's up and sometimes it's down.....it has been down alot :-) __________________________________________________________________________

Dear heavenly father,

I come to you again to ask you for your comfort in my heart, body and soul. You know the Trial that our family is facing right now. Help Tom and I to keep going. After his Radition it takes everything out of him. OUR father, OUR creator, you can do all things, give back his strength so he can do things through-out the day, he is one of your children and I know you will not forsake him.

Why do we have to suffer like this Lord? Why? My father, I'm trying so, so hard to stay as strong as I can, trying not to have melt downs, trying not to take my anger out on the children. Oh the children, Lord, Kacie and Thomas doesn't know what is going on, all they know is that their daddy is sick.

Lord, I ask you to give me the words to explain to them what is going. I tryed to tell Kacie yesterday but I couldn't find the words. Give me the strenghth I need to do this. Sometimes...... I just want to give up, through in the towel.... I can't do that.... I just can't. Thank you God for showing the scripture in Psalm this morning. thank you. Keep us all safe, in your name I pray, Amen.