October/26/2005

Well tomorrow is our Fun Fall Festival at the church, it is going to be big! it was big last yr. and it was alot of fun. We have Kacie and Thomas's costumes, Kacie is Dora and Thomas is Batman. I did up there buckets tonight. I'll post that on the creativemom site. COOL!

Tom is doing better tonight. He was not doing so good today, he was in pain and also he had an anxiety attack last night so he was not able to sleep at all, he went to sleep later today and woke up at 4:30 I think. Tonight at church I was talking to one of my friends and she said that someone had told her that the docs. gave Tom 2 to 4 months... I told her that's right....she asked me how is Tom handeling it... I really couldn't give her and answer, I don't want to say he is doing okay with it then turn around and he is not doing okay with it... so I really don't know, she didn't have a lot to say after that. I told her it is hard to go every day waiting and wondering when it will happen :-( that is so not healthy. Sometimes it is hard for me to sleep.... nightmares.... and they are really bad. Sometimes I just lay in my bed and cry. I was telling my friend that sometimes I will step back in time for just a little bit and remember the good times that Tom and I had before the kids came along.... I'm trying to creat more memories, wonderful memories, ones that won't be forgotten or fade into the background (THE PAST). This movie comes to mind... "The Parent Trap" funny movie.... and Hallie Mills plays her twin sister and the twin has never seen her mother, grandmother or grandpa, when she meets her grandpa she smells his sweater, peppermint and tobacco she says. The grandpa asks, What are you doing?" "CREATING A MEMORY" I love that part of the movie.

I will sit and watch Tom sleep and remember all the wonderful things we have done, I will put Colonge (Old Spice or Brute) on Thomas and take a really big sniff of him and in hale deeply(cough)(cough) creating a memory.

I'm gonna tell ya now....Start creating memories NOW.... you may not get another chance. My chances are still here PRAISE the LORD and I'm gonna create as many as I can. :-)(sniff.... pass the tissue please).