October/23/2005

We didn't go to church this morning, Tom still has a bad cold, if he doesn't get rid of it I don't think they will put him on Chemo. Kacie brought it home, gave it to Thomas, he then gave it to Tom and I am the only one who doesn't have it... so far.

I'm still trying to get my drivers license, I only have a drivers permit. I still have to get insurance on the car too also the Title and the registration .... so I'm a little nervouse to drive the car with out either of them. I haven't put in enough hrs. to take my test. I told Gail that when she got back from Washinton I would drive HER around in our car.... she said that would be great. Also she said WE need to drive to Tulsa.... she ment ME :-) so that will be really good for me to do that because I haven't done any long distance driving... only here in town. I have been studing my hand book and I'm gonna take the online practise test... that is what I took for my permit and it really helped also alot of praying. :-)

I'm still looking for a job. I had talked to a friend last night who runs a day care and she is looking for some more help. I have to take classes on CPR, food and other stuff before I can go to work for her. It is hard to deside to go to work or to stay home with Tom and the kids.... okay.... I have made up my mind .... Go to work. I am losing my patience with the kids..... Kacie wants to argue with me on everything..... Thomas is your tipical 2 1/2 yr. old boy who has started the temper tantrums and won't eat when it comes to dinner.... same with Kacie so I'm fighting with them, I'm snapping at EVERYONE! By the end of the day I'm tired from all the fights... I just want to be left alone so I can have a good cry. I can not wait for 8:00 to get here. I'm trying really, really hard to nip everything in the butt.... I don't think I'm going about it the right way. I figured that when the time comes for when Tom does pass.... and I'm alone raising the kids maybe it would be easier, NOTHING in life is EASY and NOTHING in life is fair! Well... doesn't this SUCK!