DATE: December 19, 2003.friday TIME: 8:00 AM BDAY COUNTDOWN: 4 more days!!
yesterday was the last day for finals. i took Math(Algebra II), and English. went home early coz ya you knoe..finals. i went to the internet for AWHILE, but then my mom called the cellphone and got mad at me. arrg. said that i cant go to the internet anymore. that was my last day. i cant go and touch the computer, not even when i have homework(s). last night the band and colorguard had a party. it was fuun!!
since i wont be able to blog here on my birthday or on christmas, i'll just greet you guyz MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!! thanks for this:
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DATE: December 17, 2003 wednesday TIME: 4:12 PM BDAY COUNTDOWN: 6 more days! FINALS WEEK!!
about the final that i took at band last thursday..i got 3rd chair( was 2nd to the last) yaay!! yesterday, i took finals for spanish, since we took the final for band last week we didnt have to take it this week. band just played for awhile then the jazz band got ready for their performance. it was lunch when Alisha told me that we needed our band shoes and shirt, but the thing is i forgot them!! thats why i had to go back home. thank goodness i got a ride from Grace. wheew! today, i took finals for biology and history. biology's is alright but history's was err..not ok. my teacher told us that its hard( he's not the one who made the final, the district did). there's this one question about Frankenstein, a gothic horror sumthin. i'm like what the!! my teacher didnt even talk about that. pssh! anywayz, i dont wanna worry about it. haha. its almost karen's birthday. yaay! two more days karen! lol. mine's 6 more days. puahaha.
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DATE: December 14, 2003 sunday TIME: 5:27pm BDAY COUNTDOWN: 9 more days
*la la lalala* changed the layout again. still sakura though. ^_^ did you guyz like it? *comments are very much welcome* lol. are the colors of the font alright? if not, any suggestion?
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DATE: december 11, 2003 TIME: 7:20am
during my 4th period(band), we were practicing our marching and song, Bravura, for this coming Saturday. We're gonna have two parades in a day. Pacific Beach and Escondido Parade. I think we had one of tghe lamest practice ever. T_T it was a lot worse than last thursday's rehearsal. people are now getting out of step, cant keep in line and in their diagonals. maan. we're gonna compete this saturday and people cant get the simple stuff straighgen up. i say... get your acts together or just not o compete. but then if we dont go we wont get the chance to beat the other bands. THIS is our LAST chance for the semester, and if we dont straighten everything up its all over for us. arrg. if we lose the Escondido Parade we will have to give back the big trophy. XD you wouldn't want that to happen would you?! i wouldnt i'd rather do my best, bring the trophy back to out school and KEEP it! Know you CAN do it, then do it well. police went to my english class today. they were searching for something..They told us that they'll have to search our stuff. so students took out their binders from their backpacks and the police and teachers started searching. They didn't really searched everyone's stuff. maybe, just the ones that looks suspicious. iono. they didn't check my friends and my stuff. aha. look innocent, ehh? puahaha. but they saw my classmate's binder so they'd had to take him with them while class is still going. yeah, its a guy. i was wondering wut would happen to him..would he get arrested or something?!! hope not. i didnt think he's that bad. XD yesterday, after skewl, i practiced the FINAL for band with Stephanny and Alisha coz its today! scaary...aha. We stopped by a fast food restaurant to eat, of course, then practiced. i went home around 5:30pm. Stuffy's mom and aunt dropped me off.*thanks Stuffy. ehe. cool nickname! ^_^* wish me luck guyz!! TIME: 3:48pm
*la la la lala..* i just finish taking the FINAL for band. *wheew* wut a relief. lol. i did alright!! at least i didnt fail it. lol. yeah, i'm still at skewl. i gotta go. need to eat and go back at skewl at 5:30pm coz we have Rehearsal 6-8pm. arrg.
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DATE: 12.10.03 wednesday TIME:7:25am
hmm..i found this at my email. i just wanted to put it here coz i think its sad and i wanted to show it to you guyz. *sniff sniff*
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.His name is Keith. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him and soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl... "Keith, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked. "I can't" "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me. "No... I am going to meet a friend..." He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word "love" only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say "I love you" before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days .. 200 days .. Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why...
Then one day...
Me: Um, Keith, I ...
Keith: What...don't drag, just say..
Me: I love you
Keith: ......you....um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my "three words" and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many .. Then one-day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn't call.It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Keith...
Keith: Here...take this... Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What's this?
Keith: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Keith: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted... "Wait..."
Keith: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...
Keith: What?!
Me: Tell me ..
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left. "I don't want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily .. How could he .. I felt that .. Maybe he is not the right guy for me ..
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll...
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he give these to me... Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls... In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that... it's going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Keith: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came? ..
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual...
Me: I don't need it.
Keith: What....why...
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again! I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking. "I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll .. You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!! But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then... Honk Honk With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. "Keith! Move! Move away!" I shouted... But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. "Keith, move!" HONK~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying. That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him... And after spending two months like a crazy person... I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love... "One .. two .. three .." That was how... I started to count the dolls... "Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..."It all ended with 485 dolls. I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly... "I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls, shocked. "I....lo..ve...you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach. "I love you~ I love you~" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side. "I love you~" "I love you~" "I love you~" Those words came out non-stop. I...love you... Why didn't I realize that.....That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much... I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much...
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.... Um... since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... Jo... I love you..."
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...
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DATE:12.08.03 monday TIME: 2:38pm
had band rehearsal from 6-9pm last thursday. brought the baton for majorette..two of them! aha. i did some exhibition. Mr. Biskie wanted to see it thats why. pssh! I was so tired coz he kept on calling me while i was on the other side of the track.. meaning i had to run across the field more than five times. arrg. Plus, i had to play my flute. anywayz, thats not a problem. My right hand was all bruised when i did the baton. i haven't done that for awhile now and suddenly i had to do it a loong time. it hit me right at my wrist. T_T it still hurts a bit you know. lol.
Yesterday, we had to play for North Park and Yuletide Parade. it was alright. We(band) wore santa hats, flags wore elve's hats, letters wore antlers, and Joanne, our drum major, wore a complete outfit of an elf. I thought that was soo kewl. Plus, we decorated our instruments. I also thought the christmas light around the clarinette were kewl. Colorguards gave out candy and chocolates during the Yuletide Parade. There were a lot of people who watched the parade. I like it when i see that there are lots of people who went to see the parade. Thats the reason why we're there anywayz, right? ..to perform for them?! We didnt join the competition though coz lots of seniors had to miss out coz they had to take the SAT II, i think. It was all just for fun. so yeah, i think got back at skewl around 7:00pm. After we dropped Casey to her house, my mom and i went to my auntie's house coz it was my cousin's(Brian) birthday celebration. Daniel, Karen, Czeanne, Katkat, and Chloe were there. woow! i missed them. aha. ^_^ Chloe finished FFX2 and i missed the ending!! grr..i wanted to see that the most!! maan. We took some pictures with Cho's digital cam. hehe. that was fun. puahaha. and we watched "The Debut". I thought the was alright overall..even the *beep beep* words. aha. Chloe took pictures of some of my drawing. I'm gonna put a section in here for my drawings. so yeah, wait for it, aiight?! I think i improved drawing. A LOOOT! for real. lol. needs more improvement but i think it'll do for now.
i'm at skewl right now, at the library. aha. i think that's all for now. i need to check if my ride is here. buhbye! lol
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DATE:12.05.03 friday TIME: 7:25am
*from Au. [dit]the blinkie with my name is also from her. woow Au! thanks a lot.[/edit]
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