JOB: Starring role in fruity sitcom Sex and the City
DESCRIPTION: Mr. T has been on alot of TV shows, from the A-Team to the Mr. T cartoon. But now he's landed a new job: lead role in a feminist sitcom.
"Mr. T was nothing but trouble," claims one of the thespian skanks, I don't know their names... it was the ginger one. "He would refuse to wear dresses, he wouldn't talk about how crap men are, and he wouldn't discuss sex. He merely looked at the script, looked at us and bellowed "Y'all be lettin' the kiddies see this!?" He would then set fire to the script, and then pity it. Sometimes in varying orders. He then set light to my face, but he spared me the humiliation of pitying - he said "Y'all face be ablaze, that be punishment enough." This is a mask I'm wearing now. Underneath it, I'm more burns than woman."
Sex and the Pity debuts next weekend on Lifetime TV. Sex and the City won several awards before Mr. T jumped aboard, including "Worst waste of 8mm film", "Best sitcom for curious fruitcakes", "The 2002 Slurry award" and the worst of all, an ITV Telly Awards trophy.
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