JOB: Aggressive plastic robot in the brand new game, Rock'em Pity'em Foolbots
DESCRIPTION: Everyone has played a verson of Rock'em Sock'em Robots - it's a universal thing. But anything that has universal appeal (chocolate bars, cereal, unmarked vans) inevitably ends up being touched by the golden moneymaker that is Mr. T.
The new re-release, featuring heads that bare an uncanny resemblance to Mr. T bobbleheads, is based on a new principle - instead of aiming to knock the other Robot's head in the air, the aim is to pity the other Foolbot (as the game has named them) with such ferocity that they simply cannot stand it any longer and leave the ring.
"Yeah, we think it's going to be a hot seller," bellows preposterous sales rep Alf Davies. "We haven't exactly quite figured out how the little plastic men get up and leave the ring in shame under their own steem, but I'm sure that if you reach a preposterous amount of pitying, the plastic's particles will stop vibrating, reach absolute zero and grow a mind and conscience of their own and leave the ring in one huge collaborative effort without the use of muscles or a way of communicating." When told that his theory was the downright stupidest thing we'd ever heard, Alf protested.
"Absolute Zero is possible, despite what chemistry professors say, like Bill Nhye the Science Guy and his zany bowtie," Davies retorted. "Professors just haven't been pitying the particles enough. If you pity each individual particle it will stop moving, lest it be ridiculed by it's fellow particles for being pityed."
All for a game with a retail cost of $15? We're looking forward to this one...
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