JOB: Pitying Hans Blix, who is soon to be dubbed "The world's crappiest metal detector"
DESCRIPTION: Today (20th March, 2003) signals the start of Gulf War II... and we've obtained rare footage of Mr. T pitying the man who couldn't find a missile in a missile repair shop.
Hans Blix is soon to become the laughing stock of world politics (even though most of the UK's stand-up comics are currently working frantically on Claire Short jokes before people start asking "Claire Who?"), and Mr. T has acted accordingly... by pitying him.
"I don't blame him, you know," speaks US President George W. Bush. "That man was hopeless. He wanted to delay the war by SIX MONTHS! I needed to buy the bombs before the end of March or Scuds R Us would stop their 2-4-1 on all weapons of mass destruction. Heh heh, I got some heavy stuff, and when I take out Saddam, all HIS stuff is mine too... like Monopoly. Then we'll reconstruct Iraq and put a hotel there... like Monopoly. Then we'll turn the country into a HUGE canvas mat with lines of coloured circles, and you have to spin a little arrow to find out where you have to put your hands and feet, some might say in a Twister-like fashion... like Monopoly."
Like Monopoly indeed.
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