JOB: Romantic outcast in a remake of Disney's classic Beauty and the Beast
DESCRIPTION: Disney has a habit of re-releasing, re-hashing and "digitally remastering" their old films for a quick buck, but this is the first if what is to be (apparently) many total meltdowns of films to be remade completely - starting with Beauty and the T.
"We were never happy with the original "Beauty and the Beast", which is why this is being allowed to go ahead," announces Disney executive Scott Poole. "This new version is a touching tale of how Mr. T lives in his enchanted unmarked van, and has until every petal on the rose has been pitied to find a wife, or something bad happens, like he's forced to spend the rest of his life being racially lambasted by George Peppard. Then he stumbles upon Belle, who he pities at first, but then accepts as his wife."
And what about the "all new musical sequence", as quoted on the box?
"Oh yes, that's the genius bit," speaks Poole. "The music has been cut out. The candle holder thing and the amazing talking tea set are all afraid of Mr. T, and they dare not sing in his presence, or even THEY know they will be pitied accordingly."
Expect Beauty and the T to be the first of many, MANY Disney rehashes.
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