Wookoo4

Wookoo The Magic Pretzel...Episode 4

We resume the story from within the catacombs of the Werthers Original Rehabilitation Centre (well not quite catacombs, more like the front desk) where our intrepid yet fuck-witted hero Wooko is preparing for mortal kombat against yet another deadly foe (The fact that he hasn�t been pitted against any kind of creature, so far, that is remotely capable of causing physical harm is beside the point)

Anyway�

�Graham� the janitor goblin stood on the desk previously owned by the fattest man ever to work for
Werthers Original (since he plummeted around 900 feet into the disused volcano the centre was built on - he was no longer able to own the desk) � YOU KILLED COLIN!� the goblin exclaimed after his speech about Aldershot (see part 3) Graham looked down into the amphitheatre sized hole in the floor left by Colin. �I WILL AVENGE YOUR DEATH FATHER!!�. Wooko was confused, the goblin was about a foot tall and about the same wide, Colin, (volcano fodder) was about 6 feet tall and 9 feet wide - how could this Graham creature be a product of Colin and someone else�. Oh god�no, I never said that. �He was your father? � Wooko said. �No he was my own personal sewage inspector, you f*cking idiot�. �Oh right� said Wooko, � well what's the problem then?� The goblin looked somewhat enraged, Wooko drew these conclusions from the way Graham had set fire. �AAARGGHH!!� screamed graham, and became a veritable flying green, flaming, raisin encrusted sponge cake, travelling at ridiculous speeds towards our hero (rusty kumquat threateningly brandished). Wooko thought for a second, and then realised, due to the stupidly fast immanent nuclear goblin hurtling towards him�. He would simply move out the way. However after a few quick sums - he had less chance of surviving than a suicidal lemming on international lemming hunting day. �Bugger�� muttered Wooko. At that moment none other than Mr EatYaFace appeared, (well more like crashed through the window landing on his face), But what struck Wooko more than anything was the fact that Barry EatYaFace was wearing: a white lab coat, a pair of red swimming goggles, and had a traffic cone on his head. �YOU F*CK!� Barry shouted and with that, executed the most ridiculous attempt at a flying kick Wooko had ever seen. He just seemed to launch himself traffic cone first towards the Graham, limbs flailing. Yelling obscenities. �ARGH YA F�KIN PILE O� DURST� and such horrific things. Wooko dived under the largest most impenetrable thing that could offer him protection from the soon-to-be explosion, (which happened to be a wicker picnic hamper)

� ***SPLIC***...!!
(It�s hard to emphasise such a pathetic word)

Not the noise that Wooko the magic pretzel expected, but when he appeared from the depths of the picnic hamper, nothing could prepare him for what was left amidst the purple coloured smoke...

"Bloody Nora !! Thats HUGE !!" the aformentioned vapour appeared to say...