A state of medical emergency was declared by the fat controller today as the pride of his fleet, Thomas the tank engine, lay crippled with a faulty boiler. The technical difficulty caused further delay on the uncompetative branch line. Thomas was admitted to the workshop at Crewe where he requires extensive treatment. The operation required will take several weeks but since Crewe has been overtaken by the NHS long waiting lists have developed. His condition is described as simply �boilerless� although there are rumours about his mental health after he organised an armed uprising against his boss.
The dispute was resolved when the Fat controller blockaded the supply of coal and WD40 from a 20 mile radius of the network. It is believed that Thomas was trying to obtain such materials, to gratify his addiction, as yesterdays horrific journey was unscheduled. Due to a lack of the banned substances Thomas was stranded.
Thomas� illness came as a blow to TV bosses who were due to film the new episode �Thomas ambushes railtrack� which epitomises the new controversial and aggressive style of the programme since Bertie the bus went ram-raiding. The health blow has come at a critical point in Thomas� acting career as he was rumoured to feature in the latest James Bond film as the master criminal �Mr rust�. The lack of a boiler is particularly significant as the role involves making a cup of tea and criminally stirring it clockwise.
