Hatfrog was a very strange creature. He was part hat, part frog. His genesis sprunk from a relaxed genetic experiment, to preserve bald wildlife in france. His inner truths are contained within the hat, which he often washes and removes in August.
The story begins at the start of the page. The middle is somewhere in the middle with the ending being really crap. One day a portugise rinosoraws was sawing a piece of wood. He had to shorten the wood to about half it�s currnent length, not that a trees the lengh of a current, a hazlenut perhaps but it depends on how big hazelnuts are in relation to currents and how many vaults are in the current. Glad I cleared that up. I cleared up the currents with my vacumm cleaner, they were all lying on the floor. I had to turn on the vacumm cleaner but there was no vaults and no current. I went to the shop to buy some. When I returned the vacumme cleaner was alive and impersinating the neighbours cat. It was then I realised I had been sucking up the dirt for the last seven years with a mingled tiger. I had been aware of it�s unusual design for a couple of years, including the leap years. The concept of these years confuses me. Why do every one in four years, try to jump about like that? Next year I might buy a leap year a pogostick so it can jump around. It�s an option but a wise one. The advent of the leap year can be traced back to roman times when the god of poo summoned his forces to the toilets of Shghhghd. Shghhghd was a mixture of poos and hats and had the magical ability to run away with white lines and swallow the sunset. He would then do an amazing shit the next day and have to thoughougly wipe his arse with a toothpick. He always got his ends mixed up and often stuck toilet paper in his mouth, and even a toilet.
So the God of poo saw the years were all fat and needed some exercise. It was taking them more than a year to get back to the start. He had just invented a pogostick and kept falling off as it was the primative edition, the first generation. In fact it was just a toothpick he had inserted up his arse. The term pogostick was degenerated from �arsebandit� as he also owned a shop in chingford. This roman God lord type poo geezer lined up the years and told them off for being so unfit and tried to get them to exercise. This was uncommon in the second phase of the roman empire, where the years kept on overlapping and were all over the place. This years April 13th was really the 6th February the years were that slow. Occasionally there would be a really eager year that would be readily toned and more likely to be quicker. Six months at the most. Then, with the invention of cars the world record shortest year became about a week. When public transport was invented by someone lashing a roadsign to a turkey, the roads were clogged and congested and the average year was more likely to be stuck on the M25 or in a motor bar somewhere such as nowhere near January 13th. The laziest year was the trucking year which took about a year to get to January 1st. Usually this was the next year but he was stuck in a traffic jam and couldn�t buy any chips.
Years had been leaping since the deadly year hunters had been slashing their wallets and filling cows with beetroot. The only way to avoid such torment was to leap over the beetroot filled cows that caterpulted themselves from the hatfrog, who emerged when a man with a hat selotaped a frog to the bottom of it. This invention resulted in poogod being detained for a thousand years, who decided to fly from Gatwick.
MrQuilt 20 minutes of free flowing typing on Valentimes day. 2000
