Tuesday.
today I went to school and nicked a mouse. borrowed sorry. last night i got wrecked. the night before i wrote a tille mumbling tune called �window ledge man�. must enrole tomorrow/ doctor didge plays. good conversations with al. the track ends. i�m bored at the moment as there�s nothing to do. saw ryan last night - he was hammered. wearing my fleese indoors as it�s fucking freezing. yesterday someone gave me a tin of beans.
i went on the internet for an hour or so. this really is a house where mornings don�t exist. at around two oclock the place starts to stir. people are friendly. frinedly people. robotics and vegemite, who cares? nothing strange about wedging apples through your bikiniline unless you�re not a girl. i still regret not asking annemarie out three years ago. it could have happened. last night at hedonism a really pissed up girl attravted the attention of five guys and gave me a hug. she tripped over me and that was her response. she was toying with them. the girl picks the guy and the guys stand up for selection trying to make a good impression, the dominant masculine image, who could live without it. girls probably. shades of that mihk joke there. been redoing it in places for a couple of moments of my futile existence. still learning my housemates names. nick is going out with lysey. stew is the one with the glasses and i am me. steve, former housemate is in trouble with te police and in neighbours everyone said hannahs tits were great. i prefer libby.
i bought a paul mccartney album today for the sum of four pounds 99p. it has opon it several items of audio including live and let die and mull of kintere. i initially thought that these were worth 2.50 eacvh with twelve bonus tracks and thought i got ripped off but then the gay person who served me said it used to be his and it definatly wasn�t scratched. this is incomprehendable and the sentences don�t marry up. this is partially acounted for me placing the music of the doors inbetween the two parts of the sentence so my mind couldn�t join the two meanings coherently. i make no appologies but i am bemused by the nature of this outcome.
everton won against liverpool with the scoreline being one nil in their favour. there was a punch up involving two players who decided to slap each other. both were sent off for their fight, which we found mildly amusing. i bought a malabu and coke for my self. it cost the sum of two pounds.
end of days briefing.
Thursday 30th september.
man i was hammered last night. Wednesday in regents where some moderatly sized lady, who looked pissed out of her skull, was dancing with anyone. I got egged on to join her by ryan and his norweigen housemate and had a happy little couple of minutes. There�s no shame in it all. you know, shit happens and things happen that are shit. later some girly with a pink top on gets her body rubbed and i have a good little time. nothing comes of it really and, as you can imagine i am completly pissed. this is mainly attributed to it being one pound stirling for a pint of carling lager. had about twelve pounds worth, it cost six pounds. i don�t think it could have been that much actually. the memories are skattered and shaded around my mind. i bought dead cities - an album by the future sound of london. went to enrole and see everyone again. fill in a shitty little form. christ i hope i passed my resit. get a student card and nus. see kinsley outside. the church street site that is. he talks briefly about our reflective summers and i can�t imagine he will be with us this year. maybe physically, but not emorotionally. he��� be detached from the body of the group, there but not really there. i�m sure him and ryan are in love.
corner pin and little chat. catch the tail end of a conversation about Monday night. big secret that alison got off with ryan, who supposedly used her body as a resturant. it�s nice to see pizza delivery being more creative. there�s rumours flying around about ryan running back from where alise liveswith his trousers down his knees shouting compliments about her boobs/plate. all very interesting and liz says she is considering dropping her irish boyfriend for ryan, giving him a dillema which we discuss on the way back to his house. buy a bottle of port for the sum of 3 english pounds and drink it while watching dress to kill. back to the union and we go to regents from there. we meet two seventeen year olds who, are very merry at the quiz who threaten to drop around ryans and jacobs house. they have the most of the conversation although i don�t quite remember much about what it was about. i was a little drunk.
today has been spent recovering to some extent. most of it drifted past in a haze of boredom and relaxation. i do think i progressed on the forgotton harmony front. have to have a final read through. might buy a keyboard. was gonna ring up kate. last night in regents helen said i would do alright in life. reasurring in my fragile state of mind. lovely!
end of entry into random exerts. nothing�s happend today. i have a very bad feeling about my resit. going to read a novel by ben elton. i have so much respect for that guy and spike milligan. lovely!
Friday
today has been Friday. it still is. no it�s Saturday actually and i�m talking bollocks.
Saturday actually
today os the day that coventry city drew 1 -1 away against everton. francis jeffers and gary macalister being the goal scores in the opening twelve minutes. in the past couple of days i have been drunken yet agiain. initally after recieving my resit results on Friday. this was a truely bad experience, knowing i�m off the course if the crappy piece of papers and work i handed in is a pile of poo. how unfair! i�m actually really pleased with the resulting 51% mark considering my evaluation is really sarcastic and very funny. my synopsis is quite amusing too. on the face of it it as a mouth but no nose. i�m talking poo poo sausage.
we all wait around outside before the office for what seems like an eternity. We all want to kill Jaz and if anyone fails we have visions of him being thrown down the stairs. First in is JD. Into the chamber of fear. we wait outside. Ryans friend tries to decifer the odd snippet of conversation from the other side of the door. We bags our places in the queue. I am fourth, adam is second, with ryan inbetween. A shame, I always thought we�d stop Ryan getting between me and Adam. Anyway snippets that arise aren�t encouraging �it�s too late now� etc. Pretty worried as life without Jd would mean my madness would go unappriciated and it might affect his education too. Anyway he arises out of the door triumphant or with a funny way of showing retreat. Saying the word �Yes� and lifting both arms above his head. A strange odur drifts down the stairs. But one of us has made it.
Next is Adam. We recognise he�s probably the most vulernable to the wrath of the deadly beard and stands on shaky terretory. He is in there for what seems like ten minutes. John would be proud, but the outcome is posively negative. A shake of the head as Adam arises out of the slumber and walks straight paast everyone. He got tripped up by Jaz�s last project. Silence hits us all. Don�t know what to do.
Ryan is next. At the moment it�s 50 50, so if ryan passes that means i might fail. we convince ourselves it�ll be OK and Ryan is in there for what seems liek ages. After daring him to phone someone up in the middle of his long talking to, we wait outside. He emerges triuphantly and tells us that we�ve all passed as he looked down on the sheet. I know that if I fail now I�ll be gutted.
Everyone else scraped by apart from the Chris kid. On the way back from Huddersfield road we
joke that we could replace him by giving a manakin a scateboard and stitching together a ball of silence and placing it in his mouth. It sounds cruel now, but even worse is when we pass him and no one has the heart to tell him. About the results or the fact that he might get replaced by a dummy. Worse of all I find myself saying the words �good luck� to him. Perhaps Alf will change his mind.
We ended up getting pissed.
�Monday night - Hedonism! C�mon!� shouts the DJ winding up the croud. �C�mon Barnsley!�. All it does is suceed in making my depression go fggo down a xouple of levels. The reasons are hard to expalin of wandering around the club, my mind clogged in misery. It was all triggered off by the supergrass song �we are young, we are......., we have teeth, nice and clean,� A lifetimes worth of lost opportunities and bad memories come flooding back at once. 1995. What a shit year. The summer was long, drawn out. I remember playing rugby on the Roberts cup and no doubt there were a few good memories that I�ve forgotton but all in all it�s just shit.Anna lack of confidence, trogging through a mundane and pointless, it all comes surfacing at that moment. What a sad man I feel like. And now I�m in Barnsley! and this is hedonism! and I had to pay to get in!?�
this state of mind lasts for about half an hour or so. Everyone else looks pretty depressed too. Perhaps the �DJ� should have said something else. �Looks you�re here now so you might as well make the most of it!�
Ryan and JD are there. If one of them was a girl the other one would get her pregnant. This is my drunked thinking as they are very close, touching each other sometimes. I supose I should delete that as it�s blatantly gonna get read by them at some point down the line and i didn�t really mean it. Not because the other one is impitant although after my recent encounters with JD I�m surprised i�m not expecting. A little slicked back hair baby, showing his arse in public.
Chat to Paul and Helen. helen wanrs to go home so blatantly. I remember dancing for a while - a sure sign that i am slightly affected by the intake of alchahol. Even more is when I try to pull someone. No one in particular, just Anyone, I�m so sweet, aren�t I? Sorry that should have read sweat. Pull on my raincoat. Iceland awaits.
Notice Ryan talking to Alison. It jsut stands out after their alleged explots last year. Week even. Skirt around the foothills of my disaster. the mountain looms over me. I am always in someone elses shadow. Igore that, it�s quite strange.
The evening started in the Firkin where the migtless Southampton (who beat us 1-0 on the opening day of the season) end up throwing away a two goal lead as Dearby equalise at the death. Paul complains about the amount of injury time as no one got injured and there was four minutes. Still, a good result for us. But we�re still flirting with disaster.
Go home and change out of my sutle Cov top. Change my jeans too. They seem to be perpectally falling down. Boring, hu? it�s far more interesting to chart the walk home, but way much harder as it is cloudy and mixed with loutish behaviour the like of which is degrading to society, but incredibly funny . petrol Station where J tries to pull the bird behind the counter. She;s about 35 and amused by the quality of the drunken behaviour. �i�m married� she explains. �it�s alright� j says � so�s my girlfriend�. Played arcade games. Pretended to shoot people. Bought an AERO. Played a crappy arcade game where we kick ass and then get blown up. Ry - gambles away as we talk to the bloke behind the glass pane.
The next i know i am standing up the hill by yate�s observing a string of words that are streaming out of ryans mouth and being directed at the person who lives behind a pane of glass. - oh! i forgot about talking to two ugly people in a doorway who are waiting for a taxi. i can�t remember
after waiting for my friendly people by a bus stop we part as they go some weird way. i start to trudge home. i meet them aGAIN IN THE CORNER OF HOPWOOD oh shit - too many capitals! we end up in my home. ry and j seem to be laughing about someoine called bren. they ask for food, i offer them bread. it starts them laughing for another couple of minutes then it dies down. �bren� ryan says, starting anothe4r round of laughter. bren. i don�t know what the hell. bit of a gap before ryan gets his dick out and starts to stretch it with his hand. i make a good �6 finger� joke.
eat microwavable shit. half frozen. then eventually they head off back to get real food. i am very relieved. they can be a bit of a handful even if t
you have a bit of a hand.
