SKY - EXTERIOR - DAY In the skies above the earth SUPERHERO flies through the air. We follow him for a short while over the scenery. He�s also using his enhanced vision to scan the area. He zooms in to see a nudist camp and a smile fills his cheeks. He swoops nearer to it. An instant look of distant disarray registers on his face as he sees a clearly marked �Kryponite factory�.     SUPERHERO Ah fuck! SUPERHERO starts to loose altitude and pathetically starts to flap his arms around. Nearby birds laugh. CLARAs BEDROOM - INTERIOR - DAY SUPERHERO comes crashing through the ceiling, landing on the four poster bed which collapses on the ageing CLARA. HARRY and PETER, who are beside the bed, leap up with delight. They start to hug each other.     PETER It�s ours! FRENCH BAR - INTERIOR - NIGHT GORDON and TAM approach the bar tender.     GORDON OK..I did a Geography O level. I can speak French. Illya un....cheap plonk...sil vous plait? BAR TENDER looks patronised and puzzled before offering GORDON a crappy drink with green froth in it.     TAM It�s frogspawn. Didn�t realise you frogs ate your own children.     BAR TENDER Lies. You haggis eating Scots with your stereotypes. Go and wear your kilts and toss your caibers somewhere else. Or haven�t you eaten enough porridge. We�re not all frogs, you know. Excuse moi. A fly flies nearby. BAR TENDER laps it up with an extended insect tongue. In the background MR EUROPEAN NEIGHBOUR has his insect tongue caught in a clearly labelled Venus fly trap. A GIRL kisses FRENCHMAN. FRENCHMAN turns into a prince. We move to the table where JOCK and RAB sit.     JOCK I�m pleased with you Rab. We�ve been here a full five minutes and you haven�t started a war yet.     RAB The days of me accidentally starting fights...wars even are over. Gone are the days when I�d shout out..... CAPTION: seconds later. The EXTRAs in the bar stop and look at him through fierce frowns and advance with their weapons. RAB continues with a football style song.     RAB Waterloo Waterloo Waterloo Waterloo Waterloo Waterlooo!(stops in realisation) oops! French EXTRAs advance on them armed with Onions and bags on two shoulders. Failing this some decent weapons.     TAM Christ, you�ve started a war or something. In the background a lonesome HITLER occupies a table. He once occupied Poland, now his empire consists of a table cloth and some salt and pepper secretly planning an uprising.     HITLER Nothing new. The French EXTRAs continue to advance with violent intent.     JOCK My Father said if you believe in him, God would save you as a reward for obeying his service. A magical moment as a giant godlike hand lifts off the roof of the pub and extends it�s fingers in a mood of friendship.     RAB I�m an atheist. The hand makes a V-sign before disappearing. TAM whistles. A distinctive signal echoes around the sky. CITY SKY - EXTERIOR - NIGHT Above a crowded city the sleigh of SANTA Claws hovers above a new car. SANTA stops pissing on it and cups his ear. SANTA pulls up his trousers and prepares to fly his vehicle. FRENCH BAR - INTERIOR - NIGHT Cut back to the main characters in a scary situation. More angry looking French people pile into the bar. FRENCH BAR - EXTERIOR - NIGHT SANTA arrives and interrupts the Mary Poppins style chimney sweep routine being performed by a load of dancers. SANTA parks and falls down the chimney. FRENCH BAR - INTERIOR - NIGHT Inside he bursts in. Falling through the chimney onto the fire. On fire he stumbles towards the bar in order to extinguish himself. Once he has put himself out he proceeds to hit every French person in the vicinity with his sack, saving the main cast. IN THE SKY - EXTERIOR - NIGHT A bruised and bandaged SUPERHERO flies along. Nearby birds continue laughing, taunting him with bits of green rock and placards that say �sissy�. SUPERHERO, who is clearly unimpressed, gives a sneer. He swoops down, past SANTA (who is driving his traditional sleigh), cutting him up. The magic world of special effects ensures that we ride with TAM, JOCK, GORDON and RAB in the sleigh of everyone�s childhood hero, Santa Claws.     TAM How�s Rudolph?     SANTA Weren�t bloody fast enough so I shoved a rocket up his arse. He goes bloody quick now! As if to prove how fast his improvement is, he drives like a maniac. Dodging clouds and ramming the Mia space station. During this hectic period RAB picks up a present from the sack. A closer shot of it reveals a label on which reads �to Harry. Merry Christmas� RAB turns the label over. This side has �from a present factory� written on it as well as an address. JOCK notices RAB pocket the item and tries to force him to put it back. In the ensuing struggle the present flies overboard as the helter skelter sleigh ride continues. JOCK leans over SANTAs shoulders to talk to SANTA.     JOCK I knew you really existed. You have many doubters...everyone over seven. But I always believed the world had someone so...generous and thoughtful.... SANTA is being cut up by an aeroplane and responds by sticking his twos up. JOCK continues.     JOCK I�d like to thank you for all the presents I received over the years....but you left my mince pies.     SANTA   (ignoring JOCK. Referring to plane) You twat! That�s my lane. Bloody co-pilot. Don�t you look at the radar. You prick!     JOCK Meeting you has been a remarkable experience. Sampling your good nature will change me forever. SANTA runs over an Angel. We see it bounce off the windscreen.     SANTA Christ! I ought to stop doing that. God�ll never renew my contract to deliver all those presents. We come to a situation where the sleigh stops at mysterious traffic lights suspended in the clouds. They are joined by the bandaged SUPERHERO who is seen preparing to race SANTA. SANTA looks across with a challenging stare before revving up Rudolph. The lights turn to green and the race is on. Action shots of epic race. Eventually there is a collision with SUPERHERO and SANTA�s sleigh goes spiralling out of control in a downward direction. BEACH - EXTERIOR - DAY A terrifying noise as the Sleigh crashes in the sand. Singed presents are strewn across the shoreline. TAM, RAB, GORDON and SANTA emerge from the twisted wreckage, bruised and shocked but mainly intact.     SANTA Great! This is gonna look great to the insurance company. (lights a fag) Premiums higher than heavens drug district. Ho Ho Ho! SANTA moves to the background of the shot where he visibly continues the foul language with the odd �Ho Ho Ho� thrown in, in accordance with his character. A SMALL CHILD approaches and sits on his knee. The professional side of SANTA comes shining through for a moment as he smiles and handles the child in a loving way. A SMALL CHILD looks away for a moment. SANTA uses this break from his responsibility to make rude gestures at the camera. RAB, GORDON and TAM are standing around wondering what to do. Shot of DOUG emerging from the sea. On the beach stands a plastic, silicon enhanced babe in red, a lifeguard called PAMMY. Upon seeing this specimen DOUG instantly pretends to drown by sinking to his knees so his head�s just above the water. TAM points at the DOUG, who�s swallowing tonnes of water.      DOUG I�m drowning!     TAM Aren�t you gonna do something?     PAMMY What? I thought it was my job to stand around looking cool. Into the shot leaps a HUNKY AMERICAN LIFEGUARD, the productions answer to David Hasslehoff. He runs towards the flailing limbs of DOUG, who instantly stands up so his head�s well above the sea.     DOUG   (disappointed) It�s alright, I�m fine. DOUG approaches the shore and collapses at the feet of PAMMY. HUNKY AMERICAN LIFEGUARD starts to make his way back.     DOUG Ow! You�d better resuscitate me. HUNKY AMERICAN LIFEGUARD approaches to offer his services in that area.     DOUG Not you! DOUG throws HUNKY AMERICAN LIFEGUARD into the sea and enjoys a brief spell of resuscitation from PAMMY.     DOUG Thanks I need that. A SALESMAN approaches selling brains in jars. He offers one to PAMMY.     PAMMY Thanks I need that.     DOUG And them. DOUG points to a sign advertising acting lessons for a fiver a lesson. JOCK yells from within the twisted wreckage of SANTA�s sleigh. Crying and holding his eyes in pain.     JOCK I can�t see! I need help! I�m blind! The rest of my life without sight. JOCKs head rests back. Mix to the next scene in a way that suggests we�re viewing JOCKs thoughts. FAST FOOD BAR - INTERIOR - DAY JOCK, who is wearing dark glasses, is sitting on a table with RAB and TAM. JOCK has in his possession a hamburger. RAB takes it off him. He puts in it a piece of cardboard before giving it back to JOCK, who takes a bite and spits it out. This childish action amuses a few people who pinch the burger again to perform a similar joke. BLIND MAN leans over to offer his condolences.     BLIND MAN Cheer up. I got a pineapple in mine. At least.....I think that�s what it was. BLINDMAN takes a bite before the burger explodes, possibly blowing his head off Tarentino style. No chance of a PG certificate there. JOCK is giving his food back, which he shapes to eat before putting it down to the disappointment of the anticipating audience. PIER - EXTERIOR - DAY JOCK walks along the pier side, his white stick guiding him along the railings. This continues for a few seconds. Unfortunately the same procedure is being pursed when he approaches the steps down. A little yelp is heard as he walks into the sea. Into the shot steps an ANNOUNCER wearing a sparkling suit.     ANNOUNCER Any blind person complaining about that visual joke ought to stop lying to the NHS. BEACH - EXTERIOR - DAY Now firmly in the realms of reality JOCK is still in an awkward position, trapped in the wreckage of a magical sleigh.     JOCK Cure, Cure I need a cure. Lots of ZULU warriors enter into the frame, dancing around JOCK who starts to blink. UGLY ZULU looks into JOCKS eyes.     JOCK I can see. Man you�re ugly.     UGLY ZULU    (to GORDON) Didn�t stop you trying though, did it? I was tempted but...I wasn�t desperate.     GORDON I was. UGLY ZULU goes and clouts GORDON on the side of the head.     GORDON I�m deaf. Deaf!     UGLY ZULU Ah! Who cares? The ZULU warriors march off. Leaving just DOUG behind really.     JOCK Any news on that plot?     DOUG Do I have to do everything for you? My God! What a crappy cast! Haven�t you even worked out where your brother lives yet? There was a clue in....you know..what Rab stole from Santa. The Christmas present with the address on it.     RAB Er...Jock wouldn�t let me take anything.     DOUG Jesus, you�re hopeless aren�t you? You haven�t even done that? You�d best get to the next real scene. You know - Harry�s house - a hoofing prison mansion, 7 miles away from here, along the coast. TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB clearly don�t know what he�s going on about. Looks of confusion all around.     DOUG Take that road on the right....the right! then you�ll come to a bridge it�s second left after that.....then you�ll see... LANDSCAPE - EXTERIOR - DAY Mixed shots of the main characters passage through the countryside. They encounter caves and all kinds of locations before ending up where they started. BEACH - EXTERIOR - DAY DOUG, who is lying back in the sun, is interrupted by the intrepid and weary travellers.        TAM You couldn�t draw a map, could you? DOUG looks up and a little disgruntled. HARRY�s HOUSE - EXTERIOR - DAY TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB arrive at the side of the mansion aided by a scrappy, hand drawn map. Quite a dark and mysterious setting. A close up of the map shows it has the words �Harrys house� written on it. TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB approach the heavy wooded door of the magnificent house. JOCK knocks on the door with a exterior attention summing device (a door knocker). The door opens and they are greeted by MOLLY, clearly a servant of some kind. HARRY�s LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY The room is occupied by HARRY and PETER. JOCK goes up to PETER, grabs him by the collar in a threatening way. In the background MOLLY makes some drinks with a tea boiler in the corner of the room.     JOCK Give me the money! Well the shares. I�ll sell them and get some money.  Hand �em over!     HARRY Er..I�m your brother     PETER You two are brothers? (to HARRY) I wondered why you smelled. MOLLY hands a hot drink to PETER who started to drink it but has spat it out by the time TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB receive theirs.     PETER This is awful! I�ve warned you before. This time I mean it. PETER rings a bell and almost instantly a GUARD appears. PETER makes the gesture for him to take her away. He obliges.     TAM    (sipping tea) Isn�t that bad. RAB and JOCK start to drink theirs. GORDON distances himself from his.     HARRY Jock. I know about your entitlement and you�re not gonna get anything. DDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSJOITED     JOCK We�ve never seen each other before. How d�you know who I am?     PETER The most knowledgeable person in the film, Terry, told us. TERRY steps in from outside the shot. His appearance is similar to DOUG, who emerges out of the nearby tea boiler. Spontaneously TAM, JOCK and RAB spit their tea out to the amusement of GORDON.     DOUG But I�m the most knowledgeable person in the film.     TERRY Yeah, right! C�mon them! DOUG attacks TERRY before it develops into a full scale conflict involving Star Wars light sabres.     GORDON You can�t hide from the truth. This companies ours!     HARRY I�ll find a way. I�ve got friends in high places. TALL BUILDING - EXTERIOR - DAY The top of the tall building is capped with a spike on which FRIEND is clinging to, provoking an expression of fear and panic on his face.     FRIEND    (yells) Let me down! Somebody please! HARRY�s LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB stand around looking confused.  HARRY�s HOUSE - EXTERIOR - DAY We see TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB getting kicked out of the house. TAM, GORDON and JOCK walk down the slope at the front of the house before standing around for a moment in order to collect themselves.     JOCK Hey...everyone. For the first time I went against the wishes of my Father...and the bible. �Thou shalt not steal� It says...but look what I�ve got. JOCK pulls from his pocket a small watch and awaits a heroic response from his mates. RAB pulls out a delicate carriage clock from under his jumper.     RAB    (sarcastic) What a rebel! A moment before a �cuckoo� is heard and a wooden bird extends out of GORDONs flies. GORDON then pulls a cuckoo clock out of his trousers.      RAB (calling up to hill) What did you get Tam? TAM is struggling down the slope because he�s dragging a massive grandfather clock which is on a rope over his shoulder. Once it�s on the level we zoom in on it�s face. TALL BUILDING - EXTERIOR - DUSK Pull out of a close up shot of a clockface on the side of the building to reveal it�s size and nature. It�s a tall building with a clock on it. PETER is climbing up the outside of it with the appropriate gear. Action music thumps out as he reaches the summit and is greeted by a FRIEND. A few words are exchanged before a briefcase is handed to PETER. They shake hands before PETER embarks on his decent. HARRY�s LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - NIGHT The briefcase is presented to HARRY and opened by PETER. It contains detailed plans and blueprints of an engineering project. Cut to various shots of HARRY and PETER constructing a ROBOT. The metallic parts are fused into place. The end product bears an uncanny resemblance to Robocop. PETER gives the lifeless structure a prod. Nothing happens. Shot of HARRY plugging him in. The ROBOT lights up. It is alive. It struts forward pulling the plug and surrounding skirting board out of the wall. Then the ROBOT is lifeless. Shots of PETER looking around the location. He raids draws, bookshelves and cupboards before eventually finding some massive batteries. ROBOT stands alert as soon as they are in place. HARRY hands ROBOT a brown envelope before ROBOT walks into the distance. CITY - EXTERIOR - NIGHT ROBOT is sitting on a bench in a park. ROBOT opens the envelope. It contains pictures of TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB along with typed information such as �vomits into his shoes�. Various shots of ROBOT striding the streets of the city, looking hard. We see ROBOT approach a parade of shops. Suddenly ROBOT stops. He is unable to move and is seemingly stuck to a shop window. Pull out to see a sign above the window that says �Magnet shop�. ROBOT struggles to move. Two Passerbys laugh at him. In the next shot he has overcome his difficulties and approaches RAB and the rest who are wandering the streets.     ROBOT   (Dickson of dock green Bobby accent) Allo Allo Allo, what�s happening �ere then?     RAB Er.....nothing.     ROBOT Everything seems lawful and orderly. However have reason to believe this is contrary to the truthful scenario. TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB seem confused.     ROBOT I have reason to believe you are responsible for loss of life on no less than 23 occasions and also stand accused of the ungentlemanly act of tobacco inhalation in a public convenience. The confusion continues. Something which is being clearly observed by a PASSERBY.     ROBOT I�m afraid you�ll have to accompany me to the station, sirs.     PASSERBY Robocop�s acting awfully strange today. I�ll sort it. PASSERBY approaches ROBOT from behind. On ROBOTs back we see a a switch which is currently set at �traditional British bobby�. PASSERBY switches the switch to the alternative setting �Badass American cop�. The change is immediate. He produces a massive gun and points it as RABs head.     ROBOT    (US accent) Freeze motherfucker! Don�t give me no shit else this barrel gonna blow out your brain! D�ya hear me, right? PASSERBY switches another switch on the back of ROBOT. This switch indicates film ratings (U, PG, 12 etc). He switches the robot from 18 to the appropriate certificate     ROBOT   (slightly quieter) ...flipping hear me you runt? I�m gonna twat you in the face unless you talk to me. You know what I�m saying�? You murdering mother..bonkers. You�re going to jail till you die. Bad boys!     GORDON What?     ROBOT You know what I�m saying. I aint got no time for none of this...poo. Don�t you play games with me boys....don�t you play games with me. Unless it�s scrabble...Cludo sometimes. You�re going down boys! Going down for good. Going down for 23 murders and smoking in the toilets. (suddenly traditional Bobby again) You�re under arrest for twenty three murders...and smoking in the toilets. ROBOT produces handcuffs and the capture of the main cast seems imminent. PRISON - INTERIOR - DAY The cell contains GORDON, TAM, JOCK and RAB as well as some mice and possibly the odd urine stain.     GORDON 23 murders and smoking in the toilets, I�m sure someone�s got it in for us.     JOCK My father always said to cherish every moment. Every second is irreplaceable so let�s make the most of the hand we�re dealt. GORDON hits JOCK who flies backwards slightly injuring himself. He recovers, to some extent and gets up clutching his bleeding nose.     GORDON What a moment! A dissolve to show time has passed. Everything is back to �normal�. In the background MOLLY is in another cell which is occupied by CELLMATE.     MOLLY I�d like another phone call please. GUARD reaches for his keys. In the process of identifying the relevant key from his bunch, he drops the lot. It falls behind the bars of the prison.     GUARD Could you get them for me please? MOLLY obliges and soon the cell is open and MOLLY is free to trot, unaccompanied to a nearby payphone. GUARD walks away leaving the cell door open.     CELLMATE Hang on mate, you forgot to lock it.     GUARD Silly me. I�d forget my head if it fell off. In a nearby cell BLOKE sticks his hand up.     BLOKE I�d like to go to the toilet please.     GUARD Sure, but man you must have problems. I�ll unlock you in a minute.     BLOKE Ah, no need. BLOKE opens the cell door by himself. He goes to the end of the corridor where there are two doors next to each other. One is marked with the signs of a toilet and the other is a clearly marked exit. BLOKE ponders whether to pee or escape. After a brief dilemma the decision is made in favour of the toilet. In a nearby cell TAM, JOCK, GORDON and RAB look bemused. MOLLY is making her phone call on a phone (would you believe?).     MOLLY Hello.....I�d like a locksmith please....I�ll wait. A brief pause. Hello. I was wondering if you could help me. I�m at the prison in Harrys house...oh you know it well...Hang on...I�ll ask shouts to GUARD). What kind of locks have we got?     GUARD (shouting from off shot) Open and closely ones. I use a key.     MOLLY Dunno. Sorry...I dunno the best time to come. Hold on (shouts to GUARD) When�s the best time for a breakout?     GUARD (shouting from off shot) Well....the footys on at nine.     MOLLY Did you hear that? yes......and how much will that come to?...Phew! (shouts to GUARD) where�s the safe?     GUARD In the office.     MOLLY Yes...you�d better  bring some dynamite aswell. In the nearby cell the main cast are coming to terms worth their imprisonment.     RAB If only there was a way out of here.     TAM Well, the secret passage is behind the third stone on the left. RAB shapes to move urgently, before stopping and shaking his head. One cell CAPTAIN FISH RELATED MUNCHIES and MR NOBODY.     CAPTAIN FISH RELATED MUNCHIES I said run away but you had to prance along and try to impress the police. I�m ruined! They even took the fishfingers. In the next cell we see simply contains loads of boxes of frozen foods. Out of them are sticking up two legs.  The next cell contains JOCK, TAM , RAB and GORDON.     GORDON We all set for our escape? TAM, JOCK and RAB nod. TAM puts his hand up. Pretty soon GUARD is summoned.     TAM Er....can we go to the toilet please? GUARD comes alongside the cell and opens the door. They are half way to their destination when they bump into PETER.     PETER Where you going?     JOCK   (gingerly mumbling) We...er...need the....to use the facilities.     RAB    (shouts) We need a piss!     PETER Prove it. The escapees instantly cross their legs.     PETER    (suspiciously) Communal toileting...are you girls? (pondering) Hmm....don�t think girls cross their legs when they�re desperate.     GORDON Is that straight from a carry on film or what?     PETER Well...OK then. TOILET - INTERIOR - DAY Once inside the attitude of the crew changes. The Neanderthal meandering spirit is replaced by that of instant urgency. A brief cutaway to see PETER changing the direction of his walk. PETER bursts into the toilet to find the escapees are executing a highly organised plan. TAM is operating a small JCB digger, RAB a pumatic drill, JOCK is grafting with a pickaxe and GORDON is shovelling nearby. They are all wearing hard hats and the necessary safety equipment.     PETER You sure you�re not women? PETER looks around and absorbs the intention of the escape. HARRYs LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY TAM, JOCK, GORDON and TAM are jostled by the GUARDS and lead to HARRY via PETER.     PETER They tried to escape.     JOCK Give me them shares. She left them to me!     HARRY Well...I�ve devised a little plan to get around this ...complication. A team of people have been assigned to cover up her death. Dispose of the body, forget the funeral etc. If you want them shares you have to prove she�s not alive.     TAM He�s telling us his plan. You auditioning for a part in James Bond?     GORDON Wont people notice she isn�t around?     HARRY This plan wont fail. I�ve employed a double who�ll act like her in every way. ROBOT enters, wearing a frock. He stumbles around and acts old.     PETER As for the 23 murders, your court hearing is next week. COURTROOM - INTERIOR - DAY In the traditional setting RAB, JOCK, GORDON and TAM are in the accused stand.     CLERK All rise. A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE enters the courtroom.     GORDON Already have. Everyone stands up.      A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE We are gathered here to administer justice in a boring and expensive way. The accused are (points) you, you and you. Have you any defence?     TAM   (producing big knife) Well I have got my wee machete here. An air of unease breaks out across the courtroom. TAM is eventually restricted and order is restored.  In the next shot RAB takes the stand. He holds the bible and starts to read what�s on the card.     RAB I solemnly swear not to talk a load of shite. So I won�t read this thing. RAB puts the bible down. Cut to a shot of the jury. It consists of Vickers, Ministers and the pope. Possibly a mid crucifixion JESUS would be amusing too, for the DEVIL at least who�s naturally a lawyer. In the next shot the �hammer falls� and the foursome are escorted out of the courtroom. PRISON - INTERIOR - DAY The cell is occupied by TAM, JOCK, RAB and GORDON.     TAM 23 life sentences and a nicotine patch. What kind of sentence is that?     JOCK I mean, we don�t even smoke.     GORDON That could be the basis of our appeal! COURTROOM - INTERIOR - DAY CAPTION: Many months later.     A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE The verdict of the court of appeal is to overturn the previous sentence....as hard as I try I just can�t see any of you using a toilet. Merely smoking in the toilets isn�t strictly against the law....so 23 life sentences seems a little harsh. However I can�t be seen to be lenient...I sentence you to five minutes with Kinky Billy. In the visitors box KINKY BILLY, who�s dressed in full leather, cracks his whip. Our four heroes are escorted off the platform. On approaches BLOKE.     A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE Court in session. You are accused of...     BLOKE OK before you say anything, I�m guilty.     A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE   (slightly taken aback) Explain.     BLOKE I did the crime, I must take the pain. A couple of minutes with Billy would teach me a lesson     A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE I see this isn�t your first offence by any means.     BLOKE But it�s the first one this week. Just a couple of minutes....please! A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE looks around the courtroom while thinking what to do.     A SEXY FEMALE JUDGE I sentence you to three months imprisonment.     BLOKE    (disappointed) Oh! COURTROOM - EXTERIOR - DAY The main characters are let out of one set of massive doors from the courtroom into a courtyard, freedom lying via an open exit. RAB, GORDON, JOCK and TAM hold their bums, an area that seems a little delicate at this present time. They are heading towards freedom, looking a bit miserable, when TAM tries to cheer them up.     TAM It�s alright. They forgot about the 23 murders. The gates of freedom are swiftly closed and two SECURITY OFFICERS step out of their huts on either side of the barrier. CAPTION: More months later. TAM, GORDON, JOCK and RAB emerge from the massive doors once again. They head for the open doors to freedom when TAM stops in confusion.     TAM I�m still not sure what the judge says?     GORDON She said there wasn�t enough evidence so we were not guilty.     TAM Not guilty, does that mean we got away with it? After a brief pause the doors are swung shut once again. PRISON - INTERIOR - DAY RAB, JOCK, GORDON and TAM share a cell once more. They all look pretty fed up.     RAB Wont get out of here for years. Imagine what it�s gonna be like. Mix to the next scene in a way that suggests we�re viewing RABs thoughts (i.e. after a close up of his face). Mix to... COURTROOM - EXTERIOR - DAY A very elderly looking RAB, JOCK, GORDON and TAM depart out of the inner doors again and begin to hobble their way towards freedom. TAM takes a sharp intake of breath as if words are about to pass through his lips.     EVERYONE ELSE Shut up Tam! Mix back to: PRISON - INTERIOR - DAY     RAB Gotto get out of here. RAB sticks his hand up and the GUARD comes and opens the door. RAB approaches the doors at the end of the corridor. He shimmies towards the toilet before arrogantly stepping through the �exit� door and screaming. TOWERBLOCK - EXTERIOR - DAY RAB clings on to the side of the building with a look of panic on his face. SPIDERMAN climbs past him. The smash of a window is heard and after a few seconds SPIDERMAN climbs down carrying stolen goods. RAB�s grip is becoming the ever more strained as we see the perilous position he is in via vertigo related shots of the ground. The situation worsens as a window cleaning device lands on RAB forcing him to loose his grip. In the next shot RAB is clinging onto a flagpole with the union jack on it. The flimsy pole is buckling under the pressure of RABs weight and starts to bend under the strain. All seems lost for a moment as when a rope seems to propel itself up the building, it has obviously been fired from below and anchored itself at the top as it�s position is maintained. Then BATMAN starts to climb near RABs increasingly Perilous position. Once they are level RAB karate kicks BATMAN off the building and climbs up his rope. PRISON - INTERIOR - DAY. RAB emerges from the exit door, pushing it firmly shut behind him. He breathes deeply, leaning on the door as seemingly all strength has been sapped due to his previous encounter. To his dismay the door can�t take his weight and starts to give way. RAB and the door fall through the door frame. A brief distant scream is heard. CELL - INTERIOR - DAY A close shot of a bruised and battered RAB. Cut to another angle showing that the cell is being occupied by JOCK, GORDON and TAM too. TAM produces a map and lays it out on the floor.      TAM OK, this is the escape plan. We go to the loo again, climb down the U-bend and go through the sewers to..... TAM looks across the corridor. A couple of cells away he sees the preying eyes of KINKY BILLY. ..........safety.     GORDON You sure this�ll work. This isn�t Trainspotting you know.      TAM I�ve done it before. GORDON, JOCK and RAB move away from TAM.      TAM We leave tonight. MOLLY cries from an adjacent cell.     MOLLY    (shouts) You can�t do that. We�re leaving tonight.     JOCK We�re escaping tonight! We planned it first.     MOLLY    (yells) Our escape took three months to plan. It�s hard keeping something like that secret you know! The previous exchange has taken place in earshot of GUARD who now stands in the middle of the corridor between the two cells. MOLLY complains to the GUARD.     MOLLY They say they�re escaping tonight. It�s our turn. It�s not fair!     GUARD Now arguments between prisoners is bad for morale. Us at group five security rate unity and enjoyment as a high priority. I want you to apologise.     TAM Sorry.     GUARD And you.     MOLLY    (reluctantly) Sorry     GUARD Now....shake hands. TAM and MOLLY stretch a hand out of the cell but are unable to meet as the corridor is too wide. GUARD unlocks both of the cells so they can meet in the middle. They shake hands.     TAM Thank you     GUARD Just doing my job. GUARD walks off, leaving both cells open. Both parties of escapees decide to escape. RAB, JOCK, TAM and GORDON head for the toilet while MOLLY, CELLMATE, BLOKE and a couple of EXTRAs turn to the left at the end of the corridor. TOILET - INTERIOR - DAY One by one the main escapees make their way through the U-bend.     GORDON Man, I shouldn�t have done that crap yesterday. SEWERS - INTERIOR - DAY A dark, mysterious setting that is also full of shit. JOCK, RAB, TAM and GORDON wade through the system. Various shots of their journey. A distant sound is heard and RAB, who is leading the party, halts them.     RAB Sh! The distant sound is heard again. It sounds like footsteps. RAB gestures them to hide, urgently shooing JOCK, TAM and GORDON to the side of the sewers. All retreat along the sewage system as the footsteps get louder. They shelter and manage to hide. Along the system approaches several people dressed in hooded black robes. Once they are in striking range of the escapees, they look up, see each other and instantly decide to attack. A brief fight breaks out amounts the two sets of people. POSH TOILET - INTERIOR - DAY HARRY, who is sitting on the toilet, seems amazed by the sounds of fighting emanating from below. SEWERS - INTERIOR - DAY One of the black robed hoods is removed in the act of combat with JOCK. For the first time we see it is MOLLY.     JOCK It�s you! The conflict ends.     TAM We thought you were guards.     BLOKE So did we.     MOLLY This is our escape. Piss off! MOLLY wrestles JOCK to the ground before continuing to march her escapees in the direction they were going before. JOCK picks himself up, ahead of him RAB, TAM and GORDON continue in their direction, the opposite to MOLLY�s lot. After a few shots they come to a fork in the system. One pipe goes to the left, the other to the right of the left.     GORDON So Mr trained navigator. which way? TERRY and DOUG, still fighting for knowledgeable supremacy in the film, surface before of the fork in the tunnel.     JOCK Just the people. Is it safe?     TERRY No, no, no. In the struggle that follows DOUG manages to put his hand over TERRYs mouth, monopolising the advice given to the main cast.     DOUG Of course it�s safe. TAM advances, wading through the sewer system. This is abruptly ended when he steps on a trap device which grips his left leg, failing this his right leg. He is hauled out of sight of his friends. DOUG loosens his grip on TERRY. TERRY bites DOUG�s hand before the gagging position is restored.     DOUG Go to the right, the left is evil! JOCK, RAB, TAM and GORDON edge to the left, avoiding DOUG and TERRY. JOCK talks as they head of the passage.     JOCK Looks like we�ve gotto prove she�s dead then. Once they have exited the sewers the lassoed Tam falls from the ceiling hanging from one leg. The TERRY v DOUG conflict continues. They submerge leaving TAM in a pickle of a dilly. The suspended TAM suddenly feels the need to sneeze, but this he�s determined to avoid until he�s got his hanky ready. In his current situation this is quite problematic. He struggles to produce the hanky. Once it is out he drops the green stained cloth on the sewer floor. A special effect or two and the hanky is having a mutant effect on the shit valley below (tunnel of sewer). Out of the water stands four mutated turds who are also expert in martial arts (TURDS 1, 2, 3 and 4)     TURD 1 Cowabunga dude!     TAM Great. It�s the teenage mutant ninja turds.     TURD 2 (offering Tam a slice of yellowy tart) Pissa?     TAM No thanks. Could you get me down? The turds produce comical shit related weapons. They cut down TAM who falls into the shitty water that lines the tunnels. The four TURDs disappear into the distance of the sewer before TAM gets up, picks up his hanky and puts it in his pocket. TAM staggers to the right of the tunnel junction. HARRY�S KITCHEN - INTERIOR - DAY MOLLY is being arrested by GUARD and two SECURITY OFFICERS. TAM slips past this commotion and eases down the side of the corridor, hugging the side in an alert way. TAM then sees PETER coming towards him and slips through a door into a clearly marked walk in wardrobe. We follow PETER to his nearby destination. He stops on the way to get an �emergency dinner jacket� which is encased in glass like a fireaxe. HARRY�s DINING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY The room is set up to host a high class dinner party. Evident is JOAN, FEMALE BORING OLD FART, HARRY, GEORGE, HAROLD and ROB. They are all kitted out in smart gear. PETER enters and brushes the last remains of glass of the suit he�s now wearing. ROBOT, who is also there, is wearing a smart evening dress. BORING FEMALE OLD FART, who is a boring female old fart, waffles on about nothing in the background of this scene. Signs of frustration from this tyrant of relentless audio onslaught are in evidence, especially from GEORGE.     GEORGE You boring upper-class fart! Shut your bloody mouth! This proves totally ineffective as BORING FEMALE OLD FART continues to rabbit on. The background drone continues. From the cupboard we see TAM watching the dinner through the slightly ajar cupboard door.     JOAN More shrimp Clara?     ROBOT Function does not compute (US accent) Jackass! JOAN retrieves from offering the plate of shrimp and for a period all seems well. Everyone�s happily munching away. A picture by the fireplace falls off the wall. ROBOT�s reflex is to commando roll out of his chair and shoots it moments before it would have hit the floor.     ROBOT (threatening other pictures in his US accent) May that be a lesson to the rest of you guys.      JOAN She�s changed. Not sure how.     HAROLD I�m sure she wasn�t that rusty before. In the cupboard the cramped figure of TAM, who has been watching all that has happened so far, thinks. He opens the door and struggles to burst out of the wardrobe. His way is being obstructed by several objects. He staggers to the middle of the room, pointing and shouting when he sees GEORGE.     TAM Ghost! Ghost!     GEORGE Damn. Foiled again. GEORGE disappears, leaving his clothes behind. The guests are puzzled so there�s a pause before general applause.     TAM My Dad was in that kind of work. He dropped a few hints. (shouting at JOAN) Witch! Witch! JOAN looks very uneasy.     JOAN Er....I�m not a witch.     HAROLD Sure...just because she looks like a demented old hag....She hasn�t even got a broomstick.     ROB Well I suppose modern witches could have vacuum cleaners...but it�s hardly stereotypical. You�ve got their image to maintain, right?     JOAN Excuse me. I must go to the bathroom. JOAN wipes her mouth on a napkin before leaving the room via a door. The other side she turns into a traditional, smelly witch. JOAN grabs a nearby broomstick, mounts it and leaves throughout the nearest window. We follow her journey. She flies over several sights including a graveyard. GRAVEYARD - EXTERIOR - NIGHT RAB, JOCK and GORDON are looking at the headstones. Above them JOAN spits from her flight. Below GORDON is hit by it. JOANs cat decides to do a wee. RAB, JOCK and GORDON are covered in it.     RAB This is a stupid idea. We�re not gonna find her death certificate here.     JOCK If we find her gravestone, then that�s proof.     GORDON What if they buried her alive? In the background we see an open grave on which the stone is written the word �vacant�. A CORPSE approaches it and climbs in. The �vacant� sign is replaced with �engaged�. HARRY�s DINNING ROOM - INTERIOR - NIGHT JOAN enters the room in her evening wear but still has her broomstick with her. She props it up near TAM who is in the middle of an argument with HARRY. FEMALE BORING OLD FART still drones on.     TAM She didn�t leave her shares to him at all. She left them to her long lost son, Jock.     HAROLD But Clara�s still alive.     TAM Oh this? - It�s just a cheap android. TAM karate chops ROBOT, who�s head falls off into someone�s soup. In the background of the shot we see GUARD and both SECURITY OFFICERS arriving in the room.     JOAN I�ve just been for a dump everybody. FEMALE BORING OLD FART finally gives up talking. HARRY shows signs of happiness. JOAN looks out of the window and sees SMALL ANNOYING AMERICAN BOY WITH NO LINES on a pedal bike, floating across the moon.     JOAN Gotto go! JOAN leaves through the door. How unconventional. Elsewhere in the room HARRY advances on TAM with a fork from the table. TAM grabs the nearby broom propped near him by JOAN. He seemingly has the advantage over the average table cutlery until JOAN re-enters the room and snaps her fingers. The broom flies into her hand.     JOAN Sorry, but I need this. My Hoover failed it�s MOT. Joan leaves again as Tam is immediately captured by the GUARD and both SECURITY OFFICERS. He shouts at various people while he�s getting dragged away.     TAM Vampire, warlock! (etc.) TAM is dragged out of shot. PRISON - INTERIOR - NIGHT TAM is thrown into a cell which holds MOLLY, CELLMATE and BLOKE.     MOLLY Oh..it�s you. You�re not gonna escape with us.     TAM I�m gonna escape, but I don�t need you. I need this. TAM smashes another emergency dinner jacket holder which is in the cell. The next thing we know is that he�s wearing it. From under the bed he produces a dry Martini. Instantly a BOND GIRL leaps on top of him and demands to shag him.     BOND GIRL Oh, James. Take me into your arms.     MOLLY He�s not James Bond.     TAM sh!     BLOKE I remember what they call you. You�re that lucky twat.     TAM (vague Sean Connery impression) Twat......lucky twat. TAM looks at his watch.     BOND Wow! Has it got a concealed laser, can it shoot?     TAM It tells the time my sweet. Don�t need any gimmicky gadgets in here. TAM unlocks the cell door from the inside and steps outside with BOND GIRL who instantly gets captured by some GOONS. Tam does nothing to stop this, but waves goodbye. A gangster lookalike MR LURGEE approaches TAM who�s in the corridor.     MR LURGEE James, you�ve gotto help. Some loon�s trying to take over the world.     TAM What? Again? 82 CAVERNS - INTERIOR - NIGHT A typical bond type setting. Loads of people running around a technologically advanced computer centre with hoofing guns. All this centred around a massive missile. In the control room the ruthless battlecry of TAMs enemy.     RICHARD BRANSON Everything will be mine. Ha Ha! Next there�s a closer shot of the missile. It is clearly marked �Virgin thermo nuclear warhead�. TAM makes his way towards the control centre using several devices to get past loads of people. He produces a banana skin from his watch and some trip over. TAM pours slop over some people who are trampled on by an African elephant. TAM produces a mousetrap and lays it on the floor. In the next shot a giant mouse with a machine gun is caught in it (shit one, I know). Eventually TAM and MR LURGEE can see into RICHARD BRANSON�s control room.     MR LURGEE There he is. Soon everything will belong to him.     TAM He doesn�t own the secret service, does he? TAM reaches into his dinner jacket pocket. Out he pulls a device which is clearly marked �Mobile Hot air balloon capture the enemy from quite far away kit�. He fires it at RICHARD BRANSON. In the next shot he is attached to a hot air balloon and floats up and away.     TAM Oh....He�ll probably hurt himself. In the next shot a distressed BOND GIRL is tired to a stick in the middle of a tank which contains water and fish.     BOND GIRL Oh  no, fish! TAM, who is on the side of the tank, gets out his fishing tackle and proceeds to fall asleep under an umbrella. CAPTION : Hours later. TAM catches a fish. Without thinking, he looks at it and throws it back. Then he curses himself. In the next shot TAM catches another fish and throws it on a pile of previously caught cod. TAM shrugs his shoulders and shapes to swim across the tank. Cut to afterwards. TAM holds BOND GIRL in his arms and walks up a corridor.     BOND GIRL Oh James. You�re so.......unlike my mother. Swift me away to somewhere special, wine me, dine me, then we can make love. I just know you want it to  be perfect.     TAM Sod that! TAM wrestles BOND GIRL into a nearby toilet. We see a CORPSE get thrown out into the corridor. CORPSE gets up and bangs on the toilet door. His arm falls off. SKY - EXTERIOR - NIGHT JOAN, in her full witch gear, rams a SMALL ANNOYING AMERICAN BOY WITH NO LINES who is flying on a pushbike, obviously with some extra-terrestrial help. HARRY�s LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY     HARRY I can�t believe he got away.     PETER We do have one more trick up our sleeve. HARRY pulls up the sleeve of his costume . This action triggers off a firecracker device which is concealed there.     PETER Other sleeve. HARRY reveals what�s below the other sleeve. A phone on which HARRY dials. WOODLAND - EXTERIOR - NIGHT A mysterious setting. Woodland. Strange, eh? The camera spins past a broomstick taxi service for witches. Focus on two traditional witches, BETTY and SUSAN cowering over a cauldron. JOAN flies into shot and lands her broomstick. She secures it to a tree with a bikelock before joining her colleagues.     JOAN Hail! Hail!     BETTY The crew had a problem     SUSAN Problem! Problem!     JOAN Let me tell you about.....Jock�s botty problem!     SUSAN Problem! Problem!     BETTY The food just wouldn�t come out!     JOAN No plop, plop for Jock.     BETTY and JOAN Sh! Sh!     SUSAN Perhaps he was just saving toilet paper.     BETTY That�s Jock�s problem. Now Rab�s problem.     SUSAN He was drunk, drunk.     JOAN All the time, time.     BETTY Pissed! Pissed!     SUSAN Fun! Fun! They turn their attention to the contents of the caldron and collectively give it a stir.    BETTY, SUSAN and JOAN Hubble, Hubble, Hubble, Hubble, (urgently), Hubbell! A dodgy pun warning as BETTY, SUSAN and JOAN run out of the way seconds before a space telescope crashes on the cauldron. Pan across the woodland setting. We focus on an answering machine which lights up in the darkness.    RECORDED MESSAGE (BETTY) This is the base of the forces of darkness. Please leave a message after the scream. (scream).    HARRY�s voice Hello, there. It�s Harry....forces of evil membership number 0921456....I�ve hit upon a snag...there�s four people I�d like to get rid of....could you summon the forces to hunt them down? A TROLL hears the message and jumps to a nearby computer and starts processing the details. TROLL picks up a nearby phone. CITY STREETS - EXTERIOR - NIGHT DRACULA is chasing a blood lorry through the slick city roads of the night. DRACULA transport is a bizarre car in the shape of a coffin. Mixed shots of the chase follow until DRACULA outmanoeuvres his target and forces it to crash into a lamppost. DRACULA licks his lips in anticipation before his mobile phone rings. He picks it up and listens for a moment. DRACULA groans in disappointment before driving away. HELL - INTERIOR - ETERNAL NIGHT OR DAY In an office on the business side of the establishment the DEVIL seems to be preparing to take a break. He opens a cupboard that�s clearly marked with the word �confiscated� and pulls out a fire extinguisher. He chuckles to himself before throwing it in a bin. The DEVIL then turns up his gas fire and puts his feet up for a moment or two. He�s interrupted by his DEPUTY.         DEPUTY DEVIL The management�s on the phone again. WOODLAND - EXTERIOR - NIGHT Mixed shots of all manor of vile creatures descending on the woodland. Traditional ghouls mixed with the bad guys from the odd TV programme. They gather around the cauldron. HARRY and PETER are there too.     BETTY Is there anything else you want?     HARRY Well.....yes. I�ve got a little problem...could you make me up a potion or something?     JOAN What�s the problem? HARRY steps forward and whispers in JOAN�s ear. JOAN giggles but tries not to laugh too much. She whispers to the other witches who giggle furiously. The woodland is crawling with ugly creatures who observe the three witches mix a vile conception in their cauldron. Mixed shots of the froth.     SUSAN This�ll never boil.     JOAN Haven�t we forgotten something?     BETTY Like the fire. They look below the pot. The kindling lying there isn�t lit. DEVIL pushes himself forward, through the crowd.     DEVIL I�ll take charge of this. DEVIL kneels down, produces a fag lighter and tries to light it. Embarrassingly it doesn�t light and he burns his finger. All this recipe is in accordance with the instructions of a cookery book being read by JOAN. We see a list of the recipe that includes such items as squashed octopus, scabby knee, Jewish leftovers from operation �frogs and stuff�. I dunno, perhaps a couple of the French guys could go in. JOANs finger points to the ingredient �weasel piss�. We can see that this is a problem as JOAN confers with several ghouls who depart from the cauldron area. Cut to shots of them looking for the illusive ingredient.     HARRY Is there some kind of problem?     JOAN We couldn�t find an ingredient but it�s alright now. I think we�ve found a substitute. Move over to see SUSAN pouring continental lager into the pot. More mixed shots of vile cookery. The mysterious atmosphere, which is poorly described, is maintained. Religious style chants contribute to the setting and atmosphere. Once some icing sugar has been added a spoonful of potion is presented to HARRY, via SUSAN.     SUSAN Take this and your problem will be no more. HARRY receives the spoon, and looks at it�s slimy contents. Tension clasps the area as the predominately evil audience contemplates and picks up the courage to place the spoon in his mouth. An unpleasant look on his face before he finally swallows, much to the amusement of the surrounding audience. They burst out laughing instantly, something which is maintained for a lengthy period. HARRY spits, trying to get the taste out of his mouth.     BETTY Serves you right. We can�t be expected to solve problems like that! If you want miracles you�ll have to go to the other side. HEAVEN - INTERIOR - DAY SAINT BOB, a holy looking creature, directs armed paratroops forces through a gap in the clouds. An ANGEL sets off with a sledge mark on his white uniform.     SAINT BOB That�s the last of the angels.....that Santa claws has a lot to answer for. OK...send in Jesus. The magical figure of JESUS parachutes through the clouds. FIELD - EXTERIOR - NIGHT We see the preparation of the forces of evil. Behind the trench line they fix their bayonets and prepare to advance on the targeted graveyard in the distance. We see the intended target and the three figures of JOCK, GORDON and RAB through the DEVILs binoculars. He leads the charge. GRAVEYARD - EXTERIOR - NIGHT The ZULUs dance around the graveyard. After a moment the ground below the headstones starts to shift. Out of the ground emerge several scary creatures best described as ZOMBIES. They advance slowly on JOCK, GORDON and RAB. Suddenly TAM emerges out of the vacant/engaged grave. He runs away from the graves and the ZOMBIES. After a moment BOND GIRL emerges from the graves too, she�s a little unhappy with the way her man�s treated her.     BOND GIRL James....you bastard! She throws her shoes at TAM. Behind her the advancing band of ZOMBIEs are almost upon her. She turns around and shouts at them     BOND GIRL I don�t know what your problem is! The ZOMBIES all stop and are scared of this angry young lass. The four main people see them for the first time.     JOCK Zombies! Zombies!     RAB Really...thought it was Michael Jackson. One of the ZOMBIES noses falls off. JOCK, GORDON, TAM and RAB run away from the ZOMBIEs who are being pursued by a bunch of plastic surgeons. On the horizon we can see the forces of darkness emerging from their trenches and advancing over the open field. When all seems lost a ray of light shines through the night clouds and in arrives the first of the paratrooping recruits from heaven. They touch down on the field and hand to hand combat commences. An ANGEL finishes off an enemy by slamming a harp over him. A whale kills a clearly marked Japanese �scientist� (That�s what it says on his T-shirt). Football sleighs basketball and many symbolic points are made. A giant godly hand reaches from the sky and plucks the evil forces out one by one. A few of the ground forces are flicked away which is good enough to make the forces of evil begin to retreat in a disorderly, ragamuffin way. JESUS looks up from his highlighted, glorious perch. JESUS Thanks Dad! In the trench at the other side of the battlefield TAM, RAB, GORDON and JOCK take cover and observe the rest of the ZOMBIES being chased away by SAINT NICK. Then they turn their attentions to the dying embers of the battle. The last of the evil creatures running away and the start of the Christian celebrations. A couple of PASSERRBYs walk on to the torn battlefield in curiosity, only to be confronted by SAINT LEWIS.     SAINT LEWIS OK, nothing to see here. After SAINT LEWIS has bustled the PASSERBYs away a second battle takes place as the forces of Legoland take on the transformers. A safe distance away TAM, RAB, GORDON and JOCK reflect on the last few minutes of expensive production.     TAM I�m surprised God would do that for us. I thought you were an atheist.     RAB I was but....I saw the light. In the nearby bushes on flashes a massive light upon which is imprinted the words �Convert to Christianity else you�ll get the shit kicked out of you�. HARRY�s LIVING ROOM - INTERIOR - DAY HARRY, PETER, TERRY and DOUG are present. TERRY has DOUG tied to a chair and at the mercy of a feather duster.     HARRY I can�t believe that didn�t work.     PETER Well...they did have the help of...God. With your permission I�d like to call the services of someone much harder. HARRY nods. PETER picks up the phone receiver and dials.     PETER Hello. Could you put me through to one of the leading political figures in Scotland? Head of the cabbage party......I�ll hold.......Hello Mr Rat. I think you�d better come here....of course you can bring your insane political army.     HARRY (to TERRY) Looks like we�re all set for the final conflict.     TERRY No. We need a dramatic amphitheatre setting. Make them carpenters work for their pay. PETER hangs the phone up.     PETER   He�s coming. MAP - GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION A map traces the progress of MR RATs political cabbage party from it�s start in the British Isles.     NARRATOR The rebels set fire to a house in India.....pinched someone�s sun cream in Ibiza. And left a trail of destruction behind.........until one day.

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