| Mavis and George CHAPTER ONE : 1 It was like finding termites on the brow of Jesus. He fell to his knees, dropping wallpaper on the otherwise pristine fitted carpet, the eyes held their stare as the body crumpled. A shrill old cackle came from the landing, chilling every sound wave it endured. Mavis had arrived. 2 She was tall, scraggy and held a stepladder to one side. The rigid corner dragging shades of dark along the patterns of carpet, a brush held neatly to its side. �Want a hand?� she asked in a voice infected with pleasantry - it was a strain to stop it sagging. Evil was bolted to it like a sidecar. �No� George said dryly, holding up his hands. �I�ve got two already�. 3 Mavis spears a bony finger at George. �Come� she said �I need your soul�. George�s eyes flicker away from their point of fixation. Midway up the wall in the cavity uncovered. They flirt back to it with a solemn stare. His words seemed to plop out of his mouth, breaking through a trance. �Why does God�have pornography?� George wiped a mini turret of sweat gathered on his head. Mavis looks up and sniggers. 4 �It was put there by the last decorators� Mavis explained. �You know�us�. Realisation dawned on George�s face. A smile failed to contain itself. �Stupid bastard ought to do his own wallpapering� Mavis reflected, sloshing more paste over the cracked surface. �Upper classes, eh?� CHAPTER TWO: Later that day was earlier that evening. A mound of confusion arose in George�s brain. How could that be � were the clocks wrong? Someone was lying and it wasn�t him � he was standing up. On some stepladders, loosely supported by the cold, unreliable hands of Mavis. �Mavis - Why do you want my soul?� �I�ve ran out of panini world cup stickers� she grinned broadly. He fell off the steps banging his head, blunting his brain further to a stump. Mavis howled with jagged laughter, cutting through the calm. A chandelier swung with muted violence; a picture seemed to shuffle across the wall to avoid its power. Everything seemed to relax when it receded. George�s arms craned his upper body from the floor. Concern crossed itself on his face and some of the colour melted away. �Souls�but �it�s dangerous! There�s big time collecters�the Devil� God�the Chinese Mafia�� �Are we gonna get this job done tonight?� Mavis snapped �I got the souls to collect�. 2 The spent time seemed a blur of insignificance as they stood before their completed wallpapering creation. It seemed to glow. Without speaking Mavis grabbed her bag and slid off into the night. CHAPTER THREE: 1 George�s hand thumbed around in soft cracks. At the moment his entire life resolve was focused on a ginormous struggle for the loction of the remote control. He looked around and saw no television, so decided it wasn�t worth looking. He passed some time by admiring his wallpaper. �Fine�fine job� he thought slowly. �Should I do it again?� He drifted back to earlier in the day, the brush against the paper�lining up the patterns afterwards. The daydreaming exploded into a streak of horror. An air bubble stood bold and true. An air pocket? The family�s rich decorating skills were crumbling under his control. Handed down from generation to next - a baton of skill and fiercely guarded secrets. Never had they been so secure before the time of George � he had forgotten them. 2 Mavis collected souls deep into the night. When the long evening settled into morning she had four which she stuck in a book. None were much good, These people had lost their way in the middle of their lives, vibrant ones were the most prized souls. The ones that wanted to live. These were stale and flat like old pop. Taking depressed souls was like stealing decayed currents from the front of a vegetable stall. 3 The square blob on the other side of the wall goaded him. Every glance tugged him further towards a pit of despair. �I�ve wallpapered over the television� he gasped, and a rock hit his inner pride. 4 �Give us your soul!� cried the lumped figured Mavis, her eyes sunken beneath the rim of her hat. �Give us your soul!� Passerbys quickened their pace along the street. �I�ll look after you forever� her voice wavered in unconvincing tones. �Keep and never destroy. There are two paths to eternity, but people die before they get there.� A doctor looked at her strangely. �You alright?� he asked waving a handsignal behind him. Somewhere nearby, a car engine prowled into action. 5 �I�ve wallpapered the settee as well!� George clutched his head in disbelief. He squeezed it hard, trying to dislodge his mental agony. A distressed bellow of frustration rose from the chambers of his lungs and was released like a demon into the world. After a series of light, stedying slaps, the redecorating started. 6 A shiver of fear struck Mavis� nose, making her brain rattle. Her wolf like eyes widened and fixed on the black car cutting effortleslly through a shoal of pedestrians. In an instant the future uncoiled before her. Her body squeezed aside all reasoning, leaving the solid bones of instinct. All thoughts of souls faded. Her jaw hung open dumbly for a spilt second before closing itself with a soft pop. How had they found her so fast? 7 �That�s better�. George relaxed, his paste splattered clothes sticking to the shabby setee. The television now revealed itself. Sitting proud with the wallpaper behind it. Somehow it looked sad, lifeless. A glossy pane to a dull world. �Aah�it�s off� he concluded, dozily. Now where was the remote? 8 The car skidded leaving thin rails of rubber across road and pavement. The doors flung open. Three boxy hardened enorcers arose from its inner chamber; evil glares stamped on their faces. Their hands clasped tightly wicked Chinese weapons. Mavis grabbed her small and unplesent bundle of belongings and pounded towards a back alley. The Doctor made a flying swoop for her leg, whipping through the empty air, clamping on nothing. The fleeing Mavis pants, her body pumping like a rusty steam engine. 9 Fear hit him as he looked up. His shackey structure of pride fell away as the soft sensation of light his his retnas and chalked on his brain. Hard pockets of wallpaper hung from the ceiling like mutated stalegtites. Squinting, he made out the shapes. One was a square oblong, possibly a phone. Another quite clearly a houseplant and yes, as he feared, the remote control. The dull light shone; it was transmitting useless instuctions to an obscure corner of the room. He sighed and tried to get up. The seat resisited his movements, clinging to him in a tangle of fibre and wallpaper paste. He was tugged down then gave up the struggle landing clumsily. From somewhere on his body fell an object to the floor. A remote control. 10 �Small time collector� the Doctor assesed �Maybe seven or eight. They�ll be in the bag�. Three hired machines of blood and muscle stride towards the mouth of the alley: the start the hunt for their fleeing prey. 11 Mavis lobbed her bag of souls over the garden fence, her head snatched a view at the ungracous waddling of her pursuers, locking on them longer than intended. Now bearing towards her, plump machines of death. Their muscles pumping furiously benieth their layers of fat. The fence bent as she forced herself over. And dropped heavily on the other side. 12 George was confused. He gazed through the thinly masked minefield of objects in the ceiling. His old remote still blinkered. The houseplant seemed to sigh and the phone rang hollow, distant tones in his imagination. He picked up the foreign object. The workings of his brain twitched and strained, resisted, then cracked, like putting pressure on twigs. �I must have picked it up from God�s house� the thought composed itself then drifted away. A blankness as the next shades of thinking formed, grey at first, then visable. �It must be his remote control�. He turned it over slowly and lines of realisation drawed themselves on his face. �My God�he�s�got cable� CHAPTER FOUR 1 �Nice wallpapering� God commented, passing through the rooms of his house. �What was his name again? George? Well..I�ll see to him, maybe he�ll die just a couple of yards away from eternity, the others will be miles away�apart from the girl who did the kitchen�nice job�. �God�do you exist?.�no offence, but you just seem like a whacko� said the bravest butler in the world. �er�you�re fired� said his boss �Righto� said the butler, before realising what this meant ��shit� �Oh erm�before you go� God continued �you havn�t seen the remote have you?� The former butler shrugs unprofessionally, loosening his tie. His voice was now gruff and unpolished. �The one for the stereo or the other�key to eternity one?� �Not the stereo�the other one� God gazed around the room. �You�re always loosing it you know. You were daft making it into a remote. Why�d you do that - Wacko?� God huffed. �Can�t be assed to go all the way to the set� he said truthfully. The former butler clomped out of the room for what could be his last time. He halted as a thought stuck him. �er can I have my soul back?� �No�I collect them� said the wacko. �Fine� he sarcasted �I�m sure I�ll find another one� 2 �You gotto help me� Mavis flustered �there�s three men�I think they want my souls� The stranger stopped calmly. His head jerked back. Green puke overflowed from his mouth, dripping from his body like snotty lava. His face crumpled and stretched, the features distorting in a twist of melting skin. The threads of clothes groaned indiscriminantly, skin shredded and buckled heaving itself into a series of gashes which hanged off the body like rired rags. Two short horns broke through the summit the hat and a new creature stood boldly in a pool of frothey blood. Mavis crouched by the fence. �No� she cried timidly �don�t take my souls!� The fire-glazed eyes of the devil confronted her. �I�m bored of them� he shrugged �I�ve started to collect panini stickers� 3 George could see further than the eye of the sun. The galaxy stretched before him, a lush blanket of woven stars. The depths of Gods inner thoughts lay unraveled, in it, the corridors leading to eternity. �This is dull� he thought, then watched The Bill on UK Gold. 4 �Use the gate� the doctor suggested. His teeth clenched together. The gate flung open and three 5 The devil pricked his ears. �There�s an opening. One which God himself must have charged. I will take you to the place beyond death. But the fee is you�re soul� he reclined and stuttered �no� don�t know if it is anymore�� he tailed off. �How about�mexico 86 and football 88?� The devil calculated �yes�I havn�t got them. Ok. But they are complete?� �As complete as the self made tyranny mankind hangs itself from� the witch retorted ��honest� she elaborated �they�ve even got the reflective team stickers and everything� �Then �tis done� the devil retorted. with a gesture of sorcery the fence closed in and wrapped itself tighter on the three thugs . 6 confrontation. Phone falls on his head. 7 �Shit� said God �I�ve lost the stereo remote as well!� The devil weaved there way through the tight corridors. He took them to a catogue of souls, ut they never got paid for the wallpapering. �This is boring� said George �let�s go back�. God�s butler. Wacko. �stop calling me that�. Coda: Devils front room? Ending? Fear hit him as he looked up. His shackey structure of pride fell away as the soft sensation of light his his retnas and chalked on his brain. |