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What's the deal with restrooms, who exactly is resting in restrooms. When I go in a restroom I become hyper alert and pantherlike in my movements. I'm like a cross between Spiderman and the Pink Panther. Don't even *try* and ask me what time it is or some other small talk, I will jab you in the gut with my pointy elbow. I really don't want to talk to you or get to know you in a freakin' restroom. Just get out of my way do your business clean your cheesy hands and leave. No time for mr.friendly friendly and its not the time to make your plea to be captain of team-nice-guy. They should rename restrooms peepoopoo rooms so no one gets confused about that. And to reinforce the point there should be like mean faces posted everywhere and signs saying "Shhhh/Shut-up no one wants to hear it." Moving on whats up with shoeboxes. What is their purpose, to protect the delicate shoe whilst it's being shipped from China/Vietnam/(Insert 3rd world country here) to North America, at which point it will be removed from the box and treated like shit and puked on and run over by cars by various North American teenagers? It's one of those things where like one company for some reason started doing it by accident and then the other company is like "Whoa we gotta do that or we'll look chintzy" and thus the phenomena took hold. But it's stupid, I have a bunch of shoe boxes at home and I keep them thinkng I'll use them for something but I never do, they just sit there like a wasteland of rectangular corrugated cardboard. I guess they can be a little fun, I just piled a bunch up now and jumped on them body slam styles. They collapsed under my immense power. Now I'm throwing them around the room and that's pretty fun too. Now I've taped one shoe box to each of my feet and am pretending to be a robot/eskimo. That was fun too. Ok now I understand why we have shoeboxes. Please ignore this last whole portion of my rant and proceed to: Martial Arts. There are a whole bunch of them like Judo, Kung Fu, Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Sumo, Kendo etc. I wonder which one kicks the most ass? Like if you put the world's best Judo guy, Kung Fu guy in a cage etc who would come out on top? Furthermore once that one martial art has proved to be the most kick-butt why would anyone bother to learn the other ones in the first place, like say it was proven that Tae Kwon Do kicks the most butt, well why would you learn Judo, becasue you know everytime you go for beers the Tae Kwon Do doods would just make fun of you for learning some second-tier martial art. And you couldn't even get mad at them and poke them in the eye or choke them because they know Tae Kwon Do and could kick yer lil' Judo-lovin buttocks back to the mattress. Someone really should find out which Martial Art is the most kick-butt and then everyone would just know which one to learn and not bother with the lame-ass ones. Like there's no way Yoga's winning that fight and Tai-Chi is pretty screwed too.
So I'm gonna rant about something that is not really a "thing" but an idea. I think though, that it is a relevant rant topic because it is an idea we all hold on to in some shape or form. This idea is the concept of fate or desitny. Everyone to the most part, myself included, has in some way learned, be it actively or passively, that we all ahev some pre-determined meaning, calling, or result in life. Whether it be, "I am meant to be a doctor' or "This person was meant for me" or "It is my desitny to be a ladies' man", we all embrace some kind of chosen path. Belief in fate, whether admitted actively or just accepted passively, does three good things; It gives up easy answers to our questions of doubt and meaning which we will inevitably ask ourselves, it gives a sense of purpose which results in focus and determination, and it makes the potholes we hit while traveling the roads of out life more tolerable. But my problem with this concept is that even more than it is helpful and comforting to hold on to its tenets, it is limiting. And every fucking factor in our socialization perpetuates this belief in fate, be it school, family, religion, the media, and our friends. I mean, if you grow up all through the educational process belieinv you are meant to be a doctor, you will probably miss out on all the other things which you may be good at and may be more suited to you. Like what if Van Gogh got it into his head that he was destined to be a lawyer? We would all have lost out. Because a sense of fate does not arrive from itself, it is influenced, adn the whole idea of pre-destiny is a lack of choice or control. I used to believe in fate, and I thereby missed out on a world of shit that could have made me happy. The other problem I have with fate and destiny is taht by believing it, you bring about the biggest paradox in life. This stems from the fact that a belief in fate causes us to see things in terms of the big picture. And in the pursuit of the universal, the moments get lost. And when the here and now, the moments, are not embraced, once can never get tot he end result, the big picture. Its a vicious circle. And then you get into self-dobt and self-deprecation because even though you can se the big picture, or what you believe it to be, it just ain't coming. Because the moments are being missed. And then live isn't fun, because the fun of life is held within the moments. So what I'm trying to say is a sense of fate just fucks us up. Because even if your sense of fate is so strong that you don't feel the effects of the paradox, and just keep on trucking towards that ever-elusive goal, you're still ultimately missing out, because though ignorance feels like bliss, it isn't. So we all have to throw out this idea we all hold of purpose and fate and all the other idealistic ideologies like it that we may hold onto for out own individual reasons, and just embrace the moments. Because really the only truth is in the in-absolute, and it is the fucking moments that will set us free.
(Due to some obvious grammatical errors I've edited and added some text to this rant submitted by a mystery person, my additions are in red. The original submitted rant remains in green.)
Whats the deal with ex boyfriends (and bacon)? My ex boyfriend is soo annoying (and bacon is sooooo tasty)!! He asks soo many personal questions (while I'm trying to concentrate on maximizing my bacon consumpton). over a YEAR after we've broken up (and I altered my sexual orientation)!! He never gives up !! He accuses me of being a slut (PS if any readers have spare condoms please e-mail me so I can pick em up), he puts words in my mouth (doesn't he know my mouth is usually busy?), he wants to know EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT MY (ANAL) SEX LIFE!! hes annoying! and annoying! its soo not even my fault that he hasn't gotten ANY KIND OF ACTION IN LIKE OVER A YEAR !! Hes horney, when i see him he tries to put moves on me (like put a paper bag over my head), he emales me letters that say, "im so sorry babe but i can't go on like this (your hygeine has gotten outta control)" and so on.. i must admit tho i do soemtimeslead him on.. but not for real, jsut for fun.. =) ahhh he gets all spazzy on me, and he tells secrets to ppl that i told him in confidance (like the time I soiled myself in-class).. when we were going out.. he keeps tabs on me at school, and updates my icq info constantly.. he post my pucture up pn his site, and calls me a lard ass hoe bag (PS if any reads have any spare bacon please e-mail me so I can pick some up), when im the perfect size. He NEEDS to get some action!! soooo PLEASE hook him up with a stripper (I recommend the agency I currently work through)!! hook him u!
p with a whore! hook him up with whatever/whoever.. jsut soooooooonnnnn!! I hate when evey time you see each other you think he wants to jump your bones (and bitch-slap my wretched head)!! and he does.. he may say hes completly over me.. but umm i doubt it.. thats my rant.. im not saying who my ex bf is.. but those who read this prolly will figure it out!
peace,
(the quasi-female monkey woman)
yo, whats the deal with koreans?
how do they see with those small eyes?
pisses me off
there born with a disadvantage, they should all be given handicap parking
S-Troop
school sucks and that's all I gotta say, fucken chemistry
Hey Minh, just wanan give you some clarification on the Martial Art Topic. From my very limited knowledge (which means I have zilch) but I pretend to know anyway because I'm asian and therefore I am supose to know about Martial Arts, Feng Shui, the 99 Dynasties and the Lunar Calendar. Anyway what was I saying...oh yeah, from what I've heard almost all martial arts evolved from Kung Fu in China. Kung Fu itself has many many different schools of discipline. Karate is a big one and for sure came from Kung Fu. Most of the Japanese styles (ie. Judo, Kendo, Akido) originated from that. Being Chinese I find myself partial to Kung Fu and if you look at the movies, Kung Fu is a much more fluid and flashier than the other martial arts.
So that's my 2 cents... anymore questions?
yo
karate came from india
i am not joking
do your research you damned chink
or as the french would say, cinq
bahaha
and take your finger out of your fucking bowl of rice
S2k
yo
whats with the chop sticks?
how stupid can a whole 2 billion people be to use 2 sticks?
u think onver a 1000 years they could build some damned spoons? ALl they can do is drive bad
and another thing
why do all chinese guys have small dicks?
man, they should be given handicap parking
S2K
What's up with ppl who act like they're all that just because they think they know something somebody else doesn't, but in fact they're wrong in the first place?
Excerpt from http://student.nuigalway.ie/~karate/history.html
"Karate developed in Japan, the name originating as recently as the 1930s. However, the techniques are very ancient, and derive from 6th-century Chinese art of Shaolin boxing [which developed from an INDIAN monk named Bodhidharma] which was further developed on the Japanese island of Okinawa in about 1500 into "Tang hand" which enabled the islanders to fight bare-handed against armed Japanese oppressors. In the 1920s Tang hand was introduced to Japan by Funakoshi Gichin who adopted the word karate."
What's up with ppl who make racist comments just because they have no race or culture of their own to be proud of?
i have been masterbating for 24 hours
i need some air and a clean pair of shorts
What's up with people who can't take a joke? Everyone knows S2K isn't racist, one of his best friends is Asian!! His comments are funny just because it's all between friends - lighten up!
Okay, so I went to a concert Sunday and of course came the dilemna, where to park? But alas, I found some good parallel parking action not too far from The Warehouse. Great, I thought. I made sure to check that I was parking legally and so we went to the concert, only to come back a few hours later and find that my car was in the process of being towed. I managed to stop the idiots just in time and get my car back. Not only was my car almost towed, but I got a parking ticket too. What the hell?, I thought. The parking meter specifically said that there was no cost to park on Sunday nights. But 20 feet up a pole down the road, tehre was a small sign that said something like "Valid Permit 7am - 7pm". I know that doesn't make any sense but anyway, it said something really ambiguous. So after we questioned the "Parking Police", he said that a driver should know that signs supercede parking emters and left to tow some more cars. I don't know if I've ever been so pissed off! I mean, let's assume I was obviously parking there illegally. Yeah, I might deserve a parking ticket, but it's a Sunday night! There really isn't a high demand for parking spaces. And to have the nerve to tow cars in a situation like that! And how is anyone supposed to know that signs come before meters?? It's not written anywhere in my Driver's Manual or spoken anytime in Driver's Ed. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Get a real job, parking police!!! If you see one while you're walking down the street, would you mind kicking their ass c/o Greg? Any martial art will do.
You know what makes me laugh? When guys come on to speakers corner or on the radio and complain how they're nice guys and they never get girls. They note that girls always say they're looking for a nice guy, but yet always go for bad guys. Well, "nice" guys, you're damm ugly. And you know it too, you resemble someone who's face got sat on, repeatedly. No matter how nice you are you're still ugly. And how hypocritical is it that you want girls to like guys who are nice but then you just go for the girls with the fine-asses and strawberry smelling hair and pinkest lips. There are a lot of ugly nice girls out there for you if you wanted, you pudgy-faced buck-teethed nice guys. So quit being idiots and shut up already, you're destined for single-hood or an ugly broad so just nab one already - you can't polish a turd and you can't make a hot girl want to be with an ugly fuck. Deal. And your robotic dance moves aren't helping either, punk.
(I've changed the format for this one because it's an epic and I have to manually type these out since cut and paste don't work in Pagebuilder. An added bonus is you can edit his rant at will. Just press refresh to get back to his original, classic rant.
oh god
next S2K will start claiming Indians invented hygeine
well they must've forgotten someting along the way becasue nowwadays they all smell like bumbum and they all suck at martial arts
You know what really pisses the shit out of me, nerdy motherfucken smart asses who do nothing but sit on their computer all day long. They never have any fucken fun, no friends, no girlfriends, and no social skills. They act like they know every mother fucken thing on earth and that they're the funiest pricks on earth, when in actuality they have no friends, are fucking broing to talk to, and are gonna grow up to maybe being successful but single and lonely as a mofo. Before you boys start acting like you know your shit, spend some time away from your computer and playstations. This describles a lot of the dumb fucks writing in on this web page, and for all those complaining about fucken racist comments, take it fucken easy, at least we ain't going as far as the fucken israilies and palestinians, so fuck yourselfs you zipperheads and you towel heads. Peace, oh yeah minh, this shit don't apply to you stinky, you the man
S2k you sound like a funny guy. YOu even made me laugh at times.... but there's a fine line between being humerous and just plain insulting. I guess my rant would be best coined in the phrase..."Can't we all just get along?" Probably not, eh.
- Monkey
yo minh
who's actually complaining about my rants?
dude, anyone of your cool gfss friends know its all in humour
man, it must be one of your geeky waterloo friends (except the ones from gfss).
they have no sense of humour.
your bitch friensd dont know how jokingly racist we are. they are too concerned about how java outperforms c.
tell your damned eng-nerd friends to fuck off.
and to get there chink ass dicks out of their pho 88.
the s2k
Ha. A rant page. At first I had nothing to rant about, but after reading the other rants on this page, I'm all fired up.
First of all, S2K you are truly a man of wise wisdom. Oh, that's right. I said wise wisdom . Can I join your team? I need you on my side. Which reminds me, I have your birthday present. If you want it, you know where to find me...I'll be kicking that girl's ass. What girl is that, you ask? Well this brings me to my second rant.
The girl I'm talking about is the one ranting about her ex-boyfriend. I have NO IDEA who that girl is. HMM I WONDER WHO SHE IS? Well since I have NO CLUE whatsoever as to her identity, I can't go wrong with telling you all exactly what I think of this MYSTERY GIRL. So, this is for you MYSTERY GIRL, seeing as you have completely befuddled me by so CLEVERLY disguising yourself and CONCEALING YOUR IDENTITY: You're a dumb, chubby little white girl that smells like baloney and you continue to flatter yourself thinking that your ex-boyf cares whether or not you exist. He was the best thing that will ever happen to you but you've got your stupid four-eyed brace-face so far up your pimpled butt that you can't see that. Go slut yourself at the YMCA, Jillian. Whoops, I mean MYSTERY GIRL.
Thridly, some Polish guy (I can tell he's Polish cause he writes like a dork) ranted, "Before you boys start acting like you know your shit, spend some time away from your computer and playstations." What the hell is up with that? I'm sorry you have a ghetto computer that was put together by Tamils in the jungle. And don't you dare make fun of videogames. I'll fight your fat ass Tom...You think you're mature? Dude, you go to Erindale. Fatima wins automatically.
Dear S2K,
As one of Minh's "damned eng-nerd" friends, I think that your last Waterloo-based rant was too much. I don't know why you automatically think it was one of us bashing your racist rants, but I personally don't think it was anyone from 'loo - I was even standing up for you! I thought your racist jokes were funny because I know how you guys are, but now you're just being mean and judgemental...maybe it has to do with the fact that you feel inferior to Waterloo engineers and you're trying to make yourself feel better by making us seem like losers...or maybe you feel inferior about your robot dance moves and wish that us Waterloo "eng-nerds" didn't kick your butt on the dance floor :)
Minh,
You don't write, you don't call! What's up with that. Little Minnhy Jr. is hungry and we need money BAD!
DAN S.