The Pickels File

Whereabouts: last seen on patrol with Jay-Jay.

Height: 6' in chins, 6'2'' with chukkas sukka!

Weight: 210 lbs.

Aliases: The DirtyWun, TheWunWhoIsDirty, Dirt McGirt, Big Baby Jesus, Big Jose, Doc, Pickels, Chino McLean

Days in Jail: 99

Number of Arrests: 2

Court Record: 0 - 2 Pickels needs to work on this.

Character Traits: A peace loving creature by nature, Mr Pickels evades physical harm by using his own highly developed marial arts style. It's a hybrid fighting style combining the Drunken Monkey, and Micheal Jackson style (as introduced to Pickels by a certain militant member of society). When one sees moves such as the Moonwalker, or MJ Crotch Grab/Yell combo, or the Quadriped Kick, then watch out, the attack is coming and the aggressor never knows where the attack is coming from. Note: It is near impossible to counter and MJ attack.


Disguises: Sometimes seen undercover wearing any combination of the following articles:

• One white sock (guess where he puts it?)
• Karate belt
• Hooter's shorts
• Hooter's tank top
• Big Poofy Green Corona lime hat
• Blonde wig
• Grey trench coat
• Pink pig costume
• Birthday suit
• Bow Tie
• Lamp shade on head
• Pink Bunny Ears
• Sunflower pedals on head
• Spider ear muffs
• Nipple pasties
• A cheek-to-cheek shit-eating grin.

If anyone could find it in their hearts to donate Pickels a uniform item for Xmas, his birthday, or just for joke, it would be greatly appreciated. Items needed: one large rubber boot, old school leather aviator helmet, matching flight goggles, and a viking helmet. Thanks. Shoot me an email.

Quadriped Spin Kick!!