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It's All About Me
All about me... hmm... where can I possibly begin? I suppose I could tell you all about my birthplace, and the place we went to after I was born (which happened to be the McDonald's in the hospital lobby, wher I had my first Oreos 'N Creme McFlurry, and believe me they are hard to slurp through a nipple, thanks Mom!) I could talk about my current domicile, my large family, my place of employment at which I work, my Webb persona and that which I do upon it (the Webb, that is), my vehicular mode of transport, or my higher place of educational learning.
Well, when you think about it, and I assume you are thinking about it, I could talk about all of this, so I think I will.
From Whence Do I Come From?
It was a dark and stormy night. I was born in New Jersey on May 30, 1981, the cusp of the Ram, just to the left of Deneb. �I lived in Nutley, New Jersey, until I was about three and a half pounds. �We moved to Rogers, Arkansas in February of 1985, and lived there until August 1992, when the tires of our home finally gave up all their air. �At that time, we again packed up and moved, this time to Virginia, where air is free at almost every filling station and there are laws against children beating up other children, unless they are sufficiently aggrieved.
Where
I Live Now
For the 2000-2001 academic year, I will be living in the west wing (all boys!) of Mother Cabrini University's Piltdown Hall, in the "Beautiful Area With Some Trees" area, on the CISAT campus.�It's JMU's fifty-second-newest residence hall, with all the amenities and spacious rooms, which I feel I'll need all the spaciousness because of the dreaded Freshman Fifty that all who have passed through the vale have about which warned me!� Move-in day is August 26 this year for upperclass students.�Lower class students, of course, live in the Quonset hut in the river flats. More information on Piltdown Hall after I move in. For now, suffice it to say that I am overwhelmed with the thought of not having a convenient source of Mallomars nearby, as I do at home courtesy of the Southland Corporation's 7-11 Store #1192 which is located a mere walk from my domestic domicile, just around the corner from the Municipal Waste Receptacle 473-A at the intersection of Grove and Bush avenues.
And in the meantime...
When
not at JMU, I live with my family in Stuart's Little, Virginia in a one-story
house bordering some trees that screen the municipal landfill.
�I live in the back, just over the tandem wheels, which ensures
a comfortable ride, and my room faces the Commons area of the park so
I am ensured of many hours of fascinating observation through my
window because the playground is there.�It's a very commodious
abode, and we've made many improvements to it since 1992, when the
house was manufactured, like putting a full vinyl skirt around the
bottom, new silver paint on the roof, a face-brick walkway to the
parking apron, stairs, rails for the stairs, a Halogen light bulb in
the porch fixture, one of those blue cakes in the 1.5 gpf low-flow
toilet, a thermometer affixed to the corner of the house so we may
gauge the temperature in order to dress appropriately for the
out-of-doors, a cozy for the propane tank at the bow of our
"land-locked pleasure ship," custom pin-striping on the
wheel rims, a clothes line out back, a larger refrigerator with
ice-making capability, and more.
My Family
I
will be the first to admit, this is a bad picture of my family. It
was so bad, in fact, that I pasted other people's faces over my
sister, father, and mother. We went to the Wal-Mart Photography
Studio one Saturday and were disappointed, but thank goodness for
Adobe PhotoShop's "DeLuxe" edition that came free with the
last 10-pack of Floppy Diskettes I purchased..... At home is my
mother, my father, and my sister. We also have a dog, Regreta.
Regreta is a dachshund, or "wiener dog," and she is one of
those dogs who looks like a wiener, only with long toenails and eyes.
She will bark at anything, living or nonliving, and that includes
Grandmother.�She barks at leaves, blowing. Another interesting
thing is that she LOVES baths, but she hates going outside in the
rain and the snow. Probably because there is nobody handy with a nice
slippery bar of soap! As for other family members, my grandmother
lives(!) in North Virginia, I have cousins in Connecticut and New
Jersey, and they are all married to each other so gift-giving is a
snap, and an aunt in California who goes by the name "Calvin."
Work
I work for Telebate AG doing marketing. This is not the operator who
places calls for you, etc.. I, along with many others, give out
telephone numbers for people. For instance, you can call me and I
will gladly give you the home telephone number for Telly Savalas. Or,
if you prefer, Nathan Lane. �If you call directory assistance,
you may not get one of these numbers, because they are generally
unlisted. 
.But
we'll be happy to provide you with the number of your choice (for a
small fee billed to your credit card account number) because,
frankly, we do not care for celebrities and enjoy the thought of
strangers calling and annoying them. The picture at right is one of
me at work. I'm wearing "the dead man's headset" in this
picture (for more information on THAT item, please visit the poem
called "The
Dead Man's Headset").
I love working the phone bank - it's enjoyable, though it can sometimes wear you down.�Sometimes we even provide traditional Directory Assistance services. It's always good to make a person's day by finding that hard-to-find number for them, of their great great Aunt Hortense who is ninety-two years old and has been living in the same house since World War I, even if they do not have a great great Aunt Hortense.
When I am at college, I go on leave of absence, or educational sabbatical, with Telebate.
My Computer
I
do all of my computing on my computer (and I do mean MY
computer) shown in this picture on my desk at my home. I took the
aforesaid photograph with MY camera.
My computer is a Tandy Radio Shack 1000 HD. �Under the computer's bonnet, you will find a 16 MHz Motorola M68000 processor, a 1.4 Kilobyte Floppy Disk drive, 64 K's of RAM, a 300-baud modem, a lot of green wafer-shaped circuit board stuffed with plenty of colorful tubular-shaped things glued to them, a plethora of wires, and more.� Please excuse the mess, but rest assured that it was controlled chaos. In case you're wondering about the caricature of a little man at right showing his penis to the computer, that's just my idea of a little joke... the PC has "flash" memory!!! And there is a 3M brand Post-It notice affixed to one of the "slots" on the "motherboard" that says "Why Me?"
I put that there. Isn't it funny?
The Internet and Me
I "came of age" on the Internet in the summer of 1996. �This is when we joined AOL which is headquartered in Richmond VA, which offers unlimited access to the Internet. �I also got 5 MB of Webb space with AOL, so I quickly moved my Webb site in. �That fall, the fall I "came of age" is the time when my site "exploded" into many of the areas that are known around the Web, like my now-retired Lambada site, the Webb Index, the Newsgroup Index, and the now-retired Computer Warriors site. �Today's Special was added in April, 1997. �In the winter and spring of 1998, the Periodic Table of the Elements, and A Compendium of Dust Types: Household and Commercial were added. �In summer of 1988, A Week in Norfolk was added. �Since then, various changes to The Shu Min Webb have helped round out that area, as well as several new areas continuing to diversify the site. �Before August 1996, I was on CompuServe. �Because CompuServe was a long-distance call from where we live, and because AOL was then billed by time increments (the time when you� actually could get onto CompuServe, I only got a half-hour a week to use CompuServe. �I did have this site back then, but in a very primitive form, on CompuServe.
Most recently, with my going off to Jerome Mapplethorpe University, I've switched ISP's.� I am no longer on AOL.com now, except for Email, and when I come home, and when I come home and use my Email.� I am hooked up to JMU's network, being on their CampusNett service when I am there.� Just pop an EtherNet card in an expansion slot, and you're set!
My "Car"
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Contrary to what the heading above says, I do not own my own car, and do not plan to do so any time soon. �I am perfectly happy with my grandfather owning the car I call my own, and allowing me to use it. �I have better things to spend my money on, such as the computer that I am typing on, which I am going to take to JMU with me. �But nevertheless, I do drive a 1982 tone-on-tone van that has been especially configured for my grandfather, by my grandfather, for handicapped access. He sure misses it when I use it! He is pictured in the picture to the upper right of where you are now reading, that is him in the photograph. See the page called "Cars" on this site for more information on my "baby" (well, technically Grandpa's "baby").
Education
On
June 4, 1999, I graduated from Stuart
Little High School, in Stuart Little, VA.� This marked the
end of my high school career, with my successful completion of all
the programs of study there, including Home Economics.�So, with
nothing else left to do there, they decided to graduate me.
And this brings us to the here and now.� I am now a sophomore at Jerome
Mapplethorpe University in Hervevillechaize, VA.�JMU is a
great and amazing place to be.�I have classes all over campus,
in such places as the Music
Building, the Performing Arts Building, the WWF Building, Burrass
Hall, and Miller Hall,
but primarily in Zane
Showme Hall.� With my classes being all over the 
place, I've been doing a good amount of walking from class to class.
And as Mom pointed out, it's a great way to reduce the size of the
behind by doing all that walking, and carrying textbooks and snack
food items at the same time.� Here
is our School Mascot, the Singing Contralto.
In Conclusion...
That's me in a nutshell. �Now you know a little about the Shu Min behind The Shu Min Web.� If you want to ask me a question, read the FAQ, then fire away.
Puff puff!
The Shu Min Webb � 1994-2000 Mr Ben Fong Shu Min.� All rights reserved, just like a Harold Robbins novel at the local library (I"m working on a tribute page to the branch in our neighborhood as we speak). � Use of this site is governed by Terms of Use.
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More About Me Update
More About Me Update FAQ
My College Life - My Freshman Year In A Nutshell
My College Life - My Sophomore Year, This Year They Let Me Out Of The Nutshell
Forensics: If You Don't Wash Them, They Get This Cheesy Substance On Them, Plus Pictures
Guest Book so You Can Leave Your Comments About Me
ICQ Personal (i.e., about Me) Communication Center
Quote Archives (Most of them are Mine, the rest are merely About Me)
Be Nice, or I'll Send My Mom Over!
Vacation '98 (didn't take one)
Canada Trip
Day 2 - Still Going To Canada, but We Had A Flat Tire
Day 3 - We Spend The Day At Customs, Pointing And Laughing At People
Day 4 - We're Afraid to Actually Cross The Border, So We Go Home.
Assorted Pictures, Most Of Them Featuring Me
Major Site Areas
Classic One-Liners of Long Ago... Guess What, Henny Youngman Is Still Funny in My Book!
Great Hall of Humor: Possibly The Funniest, Friendliest, Bestest Game Show Host Ever, My Tribute to the The Fabulous Mister Monty Hall
Newsgroup Index (no alt.binaries here! Except for alt.binaries.pictures.my.mothers.mouth)
Today's Special--Whole Wheat Toast
High School Writings
A Call From St. Nicholas: Yes, Virginia, There Is A Me And Don't Call Again During Dinner
The Dead Man's Headset, or, Boy Do These Earpiece Covers Smell Funny
Death of the Computer Warriors RICA. I Stole This Frome Someone Else
The East Coast Price is Right vs The West Coast Price Is Right
Fire Drills I Have Participated In
The Gong Show's Jaye P. Morgan Reveals All
Hollywood Squares Classroom Edition, Guess Who Plays Paul Lynde?
Julius Caecilius, the Biggus Cornholiater
Love for All the Wrong Reasons But In All The Right Cavities
The Many Shaves of Diocletian: My Past Life As A Lather Boy
Poetry Hollywood Squares, Guess Who Plays "Madam"?
POP3
or Web-Based Email:
Which
is better? I Don't Know.
Quintus's Tale is Long And Furry
Redesigning a Webb Site, Does Anyone Have Any Suggestions?
Reflections Polishing the Glass Menagerie
Should sites set a download quota for Webb sites? And what do I mean by that question anyway?
Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, UP YOURS!
Titanic Coal I Mean This Is A Really Big Piece Of Coal
Toronto, Ontario, Canada, UP YOURS TWICE!
College Scribblings
Gender in the Media: There's No Place For It!
Myself as a Writer and a Grammatician
Myself as a Writer - Part Deux In Which I Throw In Some Latin
The Ideal University is Oral Roberts
Stories
Archives
Quote Updates - Third Thirty-Second 1998
Other Pages
Terms Of Use FAQ
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