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Mr. Green's 18th Cenury Sea Stories |
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To Roast a Seagull |
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When ye grow sick of salt-pork, tired of gnawin� on weevil filled ship's biscuits, and have a fancy for some roast fowl, this be how ye can catch yerself a seagull. First take some bits of ship's biscuit and toss them to the gulls one by one. This will give them a taste fer it a gather them in a raucous flock. Next, take another biscuit and put a dab of pitch on it and glue to the deck so that the feathered rats cannot steal it. Now, put yer left foot next to the biscuit and suspend yer right foot over it, standing like a heron. �Tis no mean trick to stand on one foot on a rolling deck, but it can be done when the winds are steady. At first the gulls will be timid, but when they get greedy � STOMP!! |
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The Prudent Usage of Flounder |
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When the wind be still and the sails be slack, a good sailor will heave a fishin� line over the side and try his luck. �Tis indeed a sign of divine favor if ye should haul in something as delectable as a sea-bass or grouper. But even if his catch be a lowly flounder, �tis still a godsend. The flounder is too thin and full of bones to be worth eatin�, but it does have its usage. All ye have to do is peel back the skin on its under-side and put it in a cask of ship's biscuits just like it were sittin� on the bottom o� the sea. Go stand your watch and when ye return ye will see what a blessing this fish be. Fer weevils grow tired of gnawin� on hard ship's biscuits as much as men and they will fancy a bit of soft, moist, fish-flesh. So when ye come off yer watch, ye will find that the flounder is full of weevils and ye can send him back to the sea whence he came and the weevils with him. |
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