As we reached the gate a pack of dogs appeared out of no where and jumped on us. They were friendly but I was more concerned that their paws would leave my crisply starched jeans dirty - I wanted to make a good first impression with Kevin�s friends. I needn't have worried. The 'girls' were very easy going. And as it turned out this wasn't some unsubtle inquisition that people some times use to get their friends to assess their latest catch. Neither did they mentally tick off my good and bad points.
At first I found myself totally overwhelmed by their New Age friendliness. In lovely flowing robes, they welcomed me into their house with its soaring pine roof's, crystals and dolphin figurines splashing against the mantle piece. It was hard to believe that we were in sleepy Canberra, rather than a forest at a New Age retreat.
Instead of waiting to see what I was like they threw a metaphorical blanket of warmth over their guest. The blanket was warm and it fitted and I felt comfortable and relaxed in their presence. Even the dogs lapped at my feet. Zowie mentioned that one of the dog�s name was Merkin and that there was a story surrounding this name. Apparently in the 16th century, women often shaved their pubic areas because of lice. To cover those regions they would use a mat made of hair. The name of the mat was Merkin! Somehow I couldn�t imagine calling out, �Here, Women�s Artifical Hairpiece� in the street.
But this good will didn't mean that they weren't looking out for Kevin's best interests. They asked him pointedly if he had used protection and gave a disapproving response when he said no. As neither of us where 17 year old boys who had just come out or 70 year old men who had decided to see what the gay life was all about we hadn't seen it as necessary to follow the usual propaganda about safe sex. The subject was skipped over quickly enough, though not to cause discomfort. I did find it amusing when it became rather obvious that they where very politically correct (and as I was to learn later, even the word manhole was not acceptable to them - it had to be personhole to pass muster).
In this atmosphere of good humour and openness I found myself discussing my relationship with my former partner/now roommate. It had been a month since I'd met Kevin and I was now ready to move out of my 'unique situation' and live with him. But I felt uneasy about moving out while Peter was at home. They agreed and hatched a plan.
It felt just like the second last scene from Cassablanca, as Ric says goodbye to Ingrid. I felt all the finality of that scene in my parting with Peter.
The next day we pulled up outside my home in two cars. Kevin, myself and Zowie and Teagan piled out. Walking up the stairs I felt a deep uncomfortableness in my stomach. I opened the door and the four of us entered the room. Peter was sitting on one of his antique chairs, reading a book. I introduced Kevin, Zowie and Teagan and said that they were going to help me move. I almost felt like a traitor saying it. He looked stunned but said OK.
It was going to be an easy move physically. My possessions consisted of just a few boxes of books and a wardrobe of clothing. Zowie and Teagan started with the books. Kevin did the clothes. I noticed that Zowie and Teagan extended the same warm and supportive treatment to Peter that they had given to me the day before. I appreciated their act of kindness to someone they didn't even know. As I walked past the lounge room with a box I happened to overhear Zowie say to Peter, "It must be hard for you?" I immediately felt a pang of guilt and hurried down the stairs.
Once everything was in the car I went back to say goodbye to Peter. He was clearly upset by what had happened. "Why didn't you tell me?" He said. His lovely blue eyes were cloudy. "I didn't know how you'd react if I'd told you," I said softly. "I was going to move your things to Sydney with me and suggest you move in too." Stunned by this last minute revelation I simply said. "I'm sorry." I hugged him close and kissed him, saying goodbye. He said I could visit him in Sydney. But I knew that things would never be the same again between us. It felt just like the second last scene from Cassablanca, as says goodbye to Ingrid. I felt all the finality of that scene in my parting with Peter.
