| Journal Time! |
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| My god! I hate women. I hate women. I really do. They make me so angry. They make me ill. I have a short fuse. They confuse me to the point of self doubt. They hurt me when I try to be kind. The ruin my appitite to go on. Women will be the death of me. Relationships as a whole are skewed and awkward. I'm tired, I have no energy, I have no will. I'm drained and cannot take much more. I refuse to continue this, I refuse to let it bleed. |
| Time will take its toll. I've done solitude and seclusion before. I'm not afraid to go back to it. I find it unfortunate though. But at the same time, I find it necessary. Solitude offers self reflection. Offers reasoning and opinions of one's self without external interferrence. It allows a cleansing of mind, body, spirit. Being alone is truly when you are amongst friends. There is an interesting quote, I don't recall who made it, but its so true. "In death you are truly alone." I don't believe there are people to guide you up a white light, or demons to take your soul to hell. I believe it is an eternal quiet, and depending on how you live your life is how you will spend the rest of your soul's conscious life. Alone you will be with your memories, your regrets, your mistakes, your accomplishments, and your sorrows. When you're developing inside the womb, you're at the mercy of another (like any relationship). Whatever your "mother" does impacts you for the rest of your life. Humans have evolved so much, yet not enough. We're born, impact the world, breed, then die. A fly is born, sits on garbage, breeds, then dies. I prefer a life of a fly over a life of a human, less complicated, not stuck on vanity, gluttony, lust, etc. A fly never says "Wow, Marty has a better pile of shit than me." There is no want for more, there is no needing to improve apon yourself. You are born the same way as any other fly. |