| And there I was. Standing alone in my living room feeling clueless as to what happened last night. I felt like I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't even know the answers to my deepest darkest fears. When I returned back to present life, I ran into the bathroom to take a shower. As I was about to start up the music for my shower, I saw the new Good Charlotte CD in it. I opened the player and threw out the CD; I was that disgusted by him. I started sobbing as the words "I can't believe I let this happen. What will Marie think?" kept playing over and over in my mind. "Are you OK in there?" "Yeah, I'm fine Ayla, don't worry about it." "What happened last night? Why are you so upset?" "That's it, I don't know�I just don't know." "Don't know what?" Ayla asked. "Myself." I answered while wiping a tear from my eye. "Can we talk about this later after my shower and not through a door?" "Sure�feel better" Ayla said. After shower, Ayla joined me on the couch for one of my well-needed ventilation talks. "So kiddo�what happened?" "Last night when Paul got here, we decided to go for a walk in the park. I don't know why, but all of my old feelings for him started to come back-" "Old feelings?" Ayla interrupted. "Paul and I dated about a year ago, I never told you?" "Nope" "Well we did. Anyway, he tells me that he just wants to be friends with me. And me being the complete idiot I am told him the same. So we went to a bar and get completely wasted�and the next thing I remember I woke up with him next to me." "And then�" Ayla said while giggling. "No and then! Seriously�he said he has a girlfriend." "Oh no�that asshole!" "Tell me about it!" I felt myself starting to get emotional so I took a deep breath and then continued "He found her right after we broke up, and they've been together since." "Well did you two have sex?" "I think so" "How can you think so?" "I don't remember anything from last night. And I think Paul does, and from the sound of his voice, I think we did." "That's scary, you should get yourself tested" "For what? I said clueless. "Anything. He's a rock star, you never know what they have." She said with amusement in her tone. I laughed at that needed comic relief. "Does this make me a groupie?" I asked. "Maybe. I think that only applies when you intend to sleep with them." "Hey, will you come with me to get tested? For you know, moral support?" "Hmm well, I don't know, I have a hair appointment at 3 and nails at 4� are you crazy? Of course I'll go!" "Thanks" I said while leaning over to give Ayla a hug. I gave out a sigh of relief because all of my tests came back negative. I started to walk back to the waiting room and my cell phone rang. As picked it up I saw Paul's name displayed on my caller ID. I turned off my phone; I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. A lonely week went by. I didn't even go to work, just school and the Laundromat. I sat around my apartment sad especially today because today Paul was leaving. "The bus is outside are you coming?" Ayla asked. "What bus?" "The Good Charlotte bus! They're leaving today and I want to say bye to Billy. I think you should say goodbye to Paul." "Nah, I'm not ready to see him" After 5 minutes of me being alone in my apartment there was a knock at the door. Without even asking who was on the other side, I opened up the door. "Go away Paul!" I slammed the door in his face. "Please Hailey, just let me talk to you. Open the door." "No!" "Please Hailey, don't hate me" "Just go away Paul!" I leaned my forehead on the door "I don't want to talk!" I heard him exhale a shuddering breath. As he walked away I turned around and slid to the floor. I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. |
| Sorry this is so short, but i had a horrible weekend and my mind is somewhere else. Plus, someone made this site for me and im page builder illiterate so im trying my best to not totally screw up the site. But i should get the hang of it sooner or later :) |
| Chapter 2 - Feelings Never Lie |