I’m in the mood for drama…I’ve been helping Chris in trying to ask out Taryn and mushy shit isn’t working for me right now lol. Plus I started writing this in creative writing today and I realized that drama is good—it keeps you interested lol. So ehh yeah. This chapter is gonna be a mix of drama/mushy crap. Did I already say that? Too much sugar is no good lol (lyrics are in REDDDDD!!!!)

 

            This chapter is dedicated to my wifey. Because we’ve lasted almost 2 weeks! ::hugs Patty::

 

 

Chapter 22 – The Ring

 

 

            “Well I’ve got some scattered pictures lying on my bedroom floor, reminds me of the times we’ve shared, makes me wish that you were here” The long shower gave me a lot of time to think about what exactly was happening in my life. “Well all the songs have been erased guess I’ve learned from my mistakes.” ((I re-discovered my Green Day CD and have been playing it constantly.)) As the song changed I grabbed a towel from behind the door and started to dry off. “Now I cannot speak, I’ve lost my voice I'm speechless and redundant 'cause I love you's not enough I'm lost for words.” I didn’t even realize that those were the lyrics Paul wrote to me—he always knew the way to my heart.

            “Hey Hailey, are you OK in there?” Maddie said while knocking on the door.

            “Yeah, I’ll be out in a few!” I reached for my clothes as I sang along to the CD.

            “You’re crazy…” Maddie said.

            “You know it!!” I responded with a smile on my face.                   

            I walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I glanced over to my nightstand and saw the ring Paul gave me. After a few seconds, I shrugged and walked over to my dresser. Staring back at myself in the mirror I noticed something missing. I looked around and saw what it was—the necklace Benji gave me. For some strange reason, I loved this necklace. I walked over to the window while trying to clasp the necklace closed, and felt hands wrapping around my waist.

            “Hey babe…” Paul whispered in my ear, then gave me a kiss on the cheek.

            “Hey there.” I was fighting with myself trying to get this stupid necklace on.

            “Let me help you…” Paul took the necklace and clasped it shut. He held my hands, which were now trying to fix my hair, “You didn’t get the ring I gave you?”

            I turned around and swallowed hard, “Oh yeah, I did. I love it. I just didn’t want to wear it in the shower.”

            “Oh…ok. Where is it?”

            I looked over to my nightstand, “Over there.”

            Paul walked over and got it, and then slipped it on my finger. “Perfect fit!!”

            “Yeah…” I said while smiling. I leaned in and gave Paul a soft kiss on his lips.

            “Is everything ok?”

            “Yeah…I’m great. I’m just a little tired.”

            “Oh…I’m sorry for not being here this morning. I just had this promo thing that I couldn’t get out of and—”

            I shut Paul up with a kiss.

            “Ooh la la! Paul and Hailey sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Benji couldn’t help himself…he had to chant that as he walked past my door.

            I giggled and I wrapped my arms around Paul’s neck and embraced him. “Mmmm…food!”

            “Hey, lets all go out for breakfast before we leave today…what do you say?” Paul asked.

            “I’d love to!” Benji screamed from the kitchen. I could hear him putting some dishes in the sink, which meant either he wants two breakfasts, or the one he had sucked. I’d like to think the latter of the two.

            “Alright, yeah, let’s go. Let me just finish getting ready…ok?”

            “Sure, I’ll go and tell the rest of the guys.” Paul said goodbye with a kiss on my cheek.

 

            “Soooooo…where are we going?” Benji asked while writing “Hello” in words on the car window ((you know…when you breathe on the window and it fogs, and you play with it…yeah.))

            “My favorite local place…The Witches Brew ((this awesome café here on Long Island))

            “Sounds fun.” Paul said while tightening his arm around me.

            ((Ok I’m tired of the car ride lol…onto the juicy stuff!!))

 

            The eight of us filed into a corner booth; desperately waiting for our waitress to come.

            “I want food...” Benji whined.

            I laughed and leaned my head on Paul’s shoulder.         

            Emily looked at me and jumped up, “That reminds me! I have to go to the bathroom…. anyone wanna join me?” She narrowed her eyes at me.

            “Umm…yeah, I’ll go.” I said while getting up.

            Maddie and Amber tried to get up, but the boys barricaded them in.

            “I’ll have to catch up on this girl talk later I guess.” Amber said.

             “Definatly.” I said while Emily dragged me into the bathroom.

            “So?!? What happened last night?” Emily anxiously squealed while jumping up to sit on the counter top.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I said while sitting next to her.

            “Oh come on!!!! I was thinking it about it all night!”

            “Ok ok ok…well what do you think we did?”

            “Oh my god, you didn’t?” Emily said while turning towards me.

            “Yep…we did!” I could feel my face getting red; “I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you!”

            “Awww! How cute. So, how was he?”

            “EMILY!!” I screamed, “I’m not answering that!” I cocked an eyebrow while crossing my arms.

             “Ok, you don’t have to.” Emily narrowed her eyes down at the floor.

            “Good.” I laughed and then paused for a couple of seconds… “Ahh, it was so much better than I thought it would be!” I jumped off the counter top.

            “I knew you would say something!” Emily started to excitedly play with her hair.

            “Say something about what?” Maddie said while walking into the bathroom

            “Paul and her got freaky last night!” Emily responded.

            “Ahhh Emily!” I yelled while turning to Maddie, “Yes, it’s true.”

            “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy for you guys.” Emily said

            “Thanks, I’m so happy YOU’RE happy about MY happy sex life.”

            “Whaaaaaaaaaaat?” Maddie said, “You’re too…happy Hailey.”

            “Enough about me…what happed with you guys last night?”

            Emily looked at me funny, which obviously meant the same thing happened that always happens: Emily says something funny about Joel and Maddie making out, Benj doesn’t want to see them go at it, Emily and Benj go make out in the opposite corner of the room.

            “The usual?” I said to Emily.

            “Yeah…” Emily had a smile plastered on her face.

            “Joel and I just…yeah, the usual.” Maddie said.

            I looked at my watch, “Well we should get back, they might wonder why we’ve been in here so long.” We filed out of the bathroom and to the table.

 

            We headed back to my apartment after breakfast; we were leaving for Chicago this afternoon. Honestly, I was having doubts about going away with Paul. As I was packing I started to think about how my life would be different. I couldn’t leave this place—I would miss everything here in New York. Was Paul really worth it? I changed my train of thought because I didn’t want to think about this. I loved Paul so much—more than I’ve ever loved someone before. So what was wrong?”

            “You love Paul…I love Paul…” I started saying to myself, “I love Paul…I love Benj—” I stopped myself before I could finish his name. I stood there in the middle of my bedroom shaking my head to get the thoughts out. I ran to the bathroom to wash my face. I stared back at myself in the mirror and realized that I was holding onto something that could never happen…that would never happen.

            “Stop kidding yourself…he loves Emily!” I said quietly.

            “Who love’s Emily?”

            I turned around in shock, it was Benji. “You do…” my voice started to trail off, “You love Emily.”

            “Are you ok?” Benji asked while placing a hand on my shoulder.

            ”I’m just…I’m just confused.”

            “About?” he paused, “Come here...” He pulled me in and hugged me. “It can’t be that bad.”

            “I know…it’s just so…frustrating.” I pulled away, “no I’m fine, really.”

            “Are you sure?” Benji narrowed his eyes at me.

            I wiped away a tear, “Yeah, I’m fine.” I pushed my way around Benji. Whilst grabbing my duffel bag I noticed the ring on my finger and slipped it off. I continued to pack as if Benji wasn’t in the room.

            “What is that?” Benji asked me helping me.

            “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a…a promise ring Paul wants me to wear.”

            “Let me guess,” Benji stopped packing for a moment, “You’re confused about it?”

            I let out a sigh and sat on my bed, “How can you tell?”

            “Awww…” He sat down beside me, “I remember these feelings.”

            “What?” I looked at Benji, who was smiling.

            “When I first realized that I loved Emily, I was a bit confused. But don’t worry, time will pass.” He placed and arm around my shoulder and rubbed my arm.

            “It’s different with you and her though.”

            “No, it’s not…I’m actually still confused.”

            “How? You love her so much.”

            “I know…I love her and care for her, but I’m still confused if I love her. You know what I mean?”

            My jaw dropped, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But—is this because of me?”

            “No, I’ve felt like this long before you came here. I was just too scared to tell any of the guys. Whenever I told any of them that I had doubts about me and Emily and me they’d tell me to shut up because they knew I loved her. I wish I knew if I loved her. So instead of fighting them, I’d walk away and smile because I knew I cared for her. You know?”

            “What now?” I leaned my head against Benji’s arm.

            “I don’t know…wait and see?”

            “Wait for what?”

            “Anything. Something to help me figure out what the hell is going on?” Benji paused, “hey look Hailey, I know I probably shouldn’t be asking you this, but I feel like you’re the only one I can talk to about this. Would you mind helping me along the way a little?”

            I sat there speechless.

            “It’s ok, don’t answer now. But can you keep this between you and me?” Benji said while standing up.

            I nodded while standing up and hugging Benji.

            “Thank you.” He kissed me on the cheek and walked out of my room, leaving me cold, alone and staring at the ring.