~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's  artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
 Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After
explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and thy
mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
 how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a
beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that
Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
   "How did that happen?," gasped her mother.
   "It wasn't easy," admitted the young  lady, "but three girls
   helped me catch him."
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do  the
   dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed  that her mother
  had several strands of white hair  sticking out in contrast to her
   brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
  "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?
   Her mother replied,  "Well, every time that you do something
 wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my
hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL
 of grandma's hairs are white?"
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
   On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that
 there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.
   "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy
 picked them up and looked underneath," he replied.
   "I think it's printed on the bottom."
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
 was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say: "There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,
or That's Michael. He's a doctor."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
  "And there's the teacher. She's dead".
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
   Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I
stood on my head, the blood, as you know would run  into it,
   and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said.
   "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
 ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little
fellow shouted,  "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For weeks, a 6-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher
about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his
house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the
movements of the unborn child. The 6-year old was obviously
impressed, but he made no comment.  Furthermore, he
stopped telling his teacher about  the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy  on her lap and said,
  "Tommy, whatever became of that  baby brother or sister
   you were expecting at home?"   Tommy burst into tears and  co nfessed,
   "I think Mommy ate it!"
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said,
   "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
   A little voice from the back of the room asked,
  "How will that help?"
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three
   year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to
   get  into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
  I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in  her tummy. "I know," she replied, "but what is growing in your butt?"
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was approached by his small son, who told

him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied . . . "What do you
mean, you "know" what the Bible means?"
   The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his
father, "So, Son, what does the Bible mean?"
  that's easy, Daddy....... It stands for "Basic
Instructions Before  Leaving Earth."
Leave it to a child to figure it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~