POETRY

"ISN'T CAFFEINE WONDERFUL?"

by Dan Diaz.©2001

Isn't caffeine wonderful?It is, I always say.

There's nothing like it in the world to brighten up your day.

Caffeine is found in coffee. I drink it all the time.

Without it in the morning, I'd be a sleepless bucket of slime.

If you have some in the morning, for sure you'll stay awake.

But if you have some later that afternoon, you'll quiver, tremble and shake.

I don't know what in the world I'd ever do without caffeine.

I've consumed it rather frequently especially when I was a teen.

As a child, I would guzzle sodapop before I went to school

otherwise I'd fall asleep on my desk and wake up in a puddle of drool.

Caffenated soda isn't bad, but it gives you lots of gas.

I wont't go into detail, but it's really rude and crass.

Caffeine is actually good for you in spite of what the experts say.

Sure it makes you hyper, but it beats narcolepsy anyday.

Some say that it's a nasty vice, others say that's it's an addiction.

But one it'll become a food group, at least that's my prediction.

I don't care what it does to me, I haven't had enough.

Sure, I find it painful, but it's really funky stuff.

Oh no! I think I've had too much! I have trouble sitting still.

I fear for my life that I'm spazzing out or possibly getting ill.

I feel like I'm inside an earthquake. My body is in spasm mode.

If I don't stop doing leaps and flips, my heart is gonna explode.

Oh great! I really did it now! I have absolutely no control!

Maybe some food will bring me down. Does anybody have a roll?

At last! The buzz is finally gone. I'm calm and settled down.

It ended when I caught my breath and fell right on the ground.

That's it! I'm not taking anymore. It just makes me crash and burn.

As soon as I finish the rest of the 12-pack. Oh well, I'll never learn.

GOD BLESS THE INTERNET by Dan Diaz.©2001

The most avant-garde images I've ever seen

pulsing on my computer screen.

Sizes, shapes, and colors galore.

Never once is it a bore.

Information here and there

literally coming from everywhere.

Images I'll never forget.

God bless the internet

Communication with no end.

Sending e-mail to a friend.

Limitless electronic powers.

Surfing the net for endless hours.

Turning human brains into mutton

all with the click of a button.

Downloaded pictures you'll soon get.

God bless the internet.

Viewing cyber pornography

for about an hour or three.

Having nothing to do all day

but buy useless junk via e-bay.

Descending from human being to louse

with a thousand clicks from a mouse.

Going outdoors would be your best bet.

God bless the internet.

Enough to make you say "Good gosh!

Look what I can do with my Macintosh!"

Going online won't make you healthier,

but it'll certainly make Mr. Bill Gates wealthier.

Computers are are much more powerful than a bomb.

You can do anything with the words "dot-com."

This is something no one shall regret.

Yee-hah! God bless the internet.

Copyright 1999. Mr. Cane productions. All rights reserved.

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Rock Noise Animations©2001