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In 1985, Alfred Jones and his good friend Johnny Bumpwitz took up residence in a park by the Rimville, S.C. Downtown Public Library. There they lead a sordid life, besieged by many vices, in particular fast cars and even faster women. Alfred and Johnny knew they had it pretty good for park bums, but felt that something was missing from their lives. One morning, following an evening of reckless debauchery, the two men decided to change for the better. They renounced drinking, smoking, sexual conduct, and fast cars. In the end however, they decided only sex had to go. And so, they formed the Knights of Chastity, and as new bums moved into the park, their numbers grew. Today, the Knights of Chastity are truly a force to be reckoned with. Many are the park squirrels who rue the day they tried to copulate. |
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