1. You've never met a celebrity.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
3. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
4. You think of Chicago as not part of Illinois.
5. You measure distance in minutes.
6. You know several people who have hit a deer.
7. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
8. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
9. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
10. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
11. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
12. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
13. You end your sentences with an uneccessary preposition. For example:
"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
14. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
15. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and jell-o salad with marshmellows.
16. You carry jumper cables in your car.
17. You don't pronounce the "S" in Illinois like the rest of the world.
18. You design your kid's halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
19. Driving is better in the winter because potholes are filled with snow.
20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
21. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
22. You think deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
24. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
25. You know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
26. You know if another Illinoisian is from southern, central, or northern Illinois and especially Chicago, as soon as they open their mouth.
27. Thereis a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1,000 or more.
Well, I don't know about the rest of you "Illinoisians", but I think I apply to all but maybe three of them. Man, have I been warped by Illinois. ;P
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