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Adventures in Holland  |
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(*cue A-team Music*) They were 2 men fucked off with life..(or more precisely pissed of at doing their HND exams). Northern Ireland, although considered home,
was a dump and the Rat & YaYa needed to get away before their last shred of sanity was blown away trying to write a Java program or draw a 4 layer DFD diagram.
Still clutching their loan checks kindly given to them by Tony Blair, they remembered wise words spoken to them.... |
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Well what the hell do you expect when you give 2 men so much free time until they go back to their studies as well as a loan check?!!!
Anyway, to cut a long story we arrived in Amsterdam city center at approxiamtly 11pm on Sunday night. Then the real adventure began...to try and find a bleeding place to stay!! However our brave adventurers were able to find a (rather run down crappy) 'hotel' on the main street 30 seconds walk from the main station. Happy days! "Just fill in a few forms lads" said
the fat bastard of a hotel manager. We decided that since everyone loves the Irish thats what we'll say we are (the amount of times people thought we were bleedin' English...grrr). |
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Not ones to be disheartened, we set out for a little walk around the city which for the next
3 days would be 'home'. We walked round the old catherdral area and my God!...My Fucking God! You don't see this down Belfast do you?
You ever seen the TV programme Eurotrash? Well I've seen the real Eurotrash and my God the TV show is nothing..head fuck, head fuck! |
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The next day began our first full day in Holland. After getting a very nice breakfast from the 'Hotel Naatural' (best orange juice i've ever tasted)
we went on a little walk around the city again but in the daylight. It was during this that we noticed our hotel
was 4 doors up from the Sex Museum. We'll have to come back to that later on we noted....
I also noted that I actually seen half of Coleraine Uni's Informatic students walking around...I guess the image of the computer nerd is now offically dead. We did the tourist thing and went on a boat trip along the canal thought it was a bit worrying that the boat driver was smoking a joint before he got aboard. Luckily the driver didn't have to say anything cos a tape played for him and he occasionally lifted his hand up to point to things. The thing that did piss us off was when we got back the tape said something to the effect of '...please to not feel embarrassed about tipping the driver..'....cheeky bastards! |
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After spending the previous night in an Irish pub called 'Molly Malone's' we decided to take one of the coach tours which went
around the countryside of Amsterdam. There we met a woman with her son and his girlfriend on the tour who ironically enough turned out to be Coleriane Informatic students as well.
The guide was a weird bloke to say the least who looked like something out of a Hammer Horror film. He also must have smoked some of the 'sweet leaf' cos by the time it took him to say "Good Morning" you probably could have walked up to the top of the bus
from the back seat, punched him in the head, and walk back down to your seat. We, beleive it or not, visited the cheese factory, windmills and the the clogg factory. When we got back the tour guide said the old '...please to not feel embarrassed about tipping the driver..'To make matters worse the automatic doors at the back which opened every time we arrived at a location, didn't open this time strangly and therefore everyone had to walk past the driver. Dirty, dirty bastards! In the evening we visited the Amsterdam Sex Museum and that was a bloody funny place. I don't even know where to begin to describe it...they had a section of extreme stuff and had a warning for people who were easily offended (although surly people that easily offended shouldn't not only be in the museum but Amsterdam itself). There they had displays of things like S&M, Trannies, chicks with dicks and beastilty. Another section had a massive display of personal photographs which start from the 1990's and go back all the way to the late 1800's.... We also visited the cannibas museum which was down the road and around the cornor. Although not quite as interesting, we did get a leathel photo of this greenhouse filled with 'plants. Afterwards it was back to Molly's for an excellent roast chicken dinner and loads of cheap drink...(we go on holiday to a foreign counrty and we spend the nights in Irish pubs...) |
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However, all good things must come to an end and before we knew it, it was Wednesday and our plane back to Belfast was calling us. We did do a final bit of shopping where I finally got hold of Iced Earth's first album which I couldn't get back home.
We were even gonna go to Molly's for one last time but unfortunatly she was closed so we made to with this small restraunt. The manager was a very friendly person until we paid him the bill without leaving a tip and then he sort of ignored us.
Still we got on the train to the airport. And let me tell you, the Dutch trains kick the crap out of NIR's trains. Their quicker, cleaner, quieter, more comfortable and they have double decker ones!! Screw NIR thats what I say! Now where was I..oh, yes...we came home |
