Mr Rat's Desert Island Discs..




AARRGGHH! The Commies have invaded and have decided to take over the free world as well as destroying all copies of 'Rocky IV'. They have also deduced that Mr Rat could indeed be the saviour of the planet and instead of shooting him dead they choose to have him exiled to a exotic desert island located around the Shetlands.

However, our ratty hero was allowed a moment of grace to pick up several items. However he chose not to take a mobile phone, hunting knife or fountain pen that transformed into a solar powered helicopter but 10 favourite albums in the mistaken beleaf that he would invited onto Radio 4's 'Desert Island Discs' programme............tit.





No 10. Kerbdog 'On The Turn'
Not only did I see this band live supporting the rather poncy Placebo (which the 'dog blew off stage) but I got to meet them and got a signed poster from them. Unfortuntaly their record company were twats, dropped them (despite 'On The Turn' being bloody brillant) and now Kerbdog are no more....



No 9. Alice Cooper 'From The Inside'
Marlion Manson is a pussy, Alice is the man. This album was written after Alice got out of rehab and so each song is about a particular person with a particular problem. The vinyl is a gatefold which opens up to a picture of a mental home with characters from the songs runnin' about. So I guess having a drinking problems not such a bad thing if good albums come out of it.



No 8. Paradise Lost 'Draconian Times'
Like Therapy?, Paradise Lost will not release 2 albums that sound the same. Which is almost a pity cos 'Draconian' is a mighty piece of metal with its almost cryptic lyrics (for all I know they could be calling me a wanker).



No 7. Therapy? 'Troublegum'
This album came out round the time I was 16 so its almost like a teen angst album. However still to this day its an amazing piece of work with classic lines like 'I'm gonna get drunk, come round and fuck you up' and 'masturbation saved my life'.



No 6. Metallica 'Master of Puppets'
Once upon a time there was this really amazing metal band who sung about stuff like going to the electric chair, getting blown by a landmine, muntinties in mental aslyums and taking cocaine. However they've become older, lost their edge slightly and now do country and western songs.



No 5. Iron Maiden 'Live After Death'
There's nothing like a good live album to go ape shit to and Maiden's 'Live After Death' is the best there is. I seen Maiden at Belfast in '96 on the X-FactTOUR and they are diffently the best live band I've seen....ever!

SCREAM FOR ME LONG BEACH.......SCREAM FOR ME!!!!!!




No 4. Ozzy Osbourne 'The Ultimate Sin'
This was Ozzy during his perm hair style stage (I suppose it was the '80') though I'm pretty sure Ozzy can't remember much of this decade. This is the Double O's finest album (well in my opinion) and even the album cover oozzes heavy metal..



No 3. Black Sabbath 'Sabotage'
The greatest and most legendary rock/metal band of all time. And I got to see them live at Ozzfest!!! Unfortunatly they didn't do any songs from this album at all but they did do Paranoid, Iron Man and Children of the Grave. It would have been great to hear Tony Iommi play the 'Symptom of the Universe' riff but I suppose seeing Sabbath with Ozzy is a honour.



No 2. Meatloaf 'Bat Out Of Hell II'
During the days when my hair was down past my shoulders I had this drunk person coming up to me and said 'We all think',(points to table of drunk people)'if your hair was a bit darker, you'd look just like Meatloaf'. I don't know weather thats a compliment but Meatloaf does release some mighty fine albums and the first gig I ever went to was on the 'Back into Hell' tour which was brillant.



No 1. Pink Floyd 'The Wall'
The greatest album of all time...........ever. 'nuff said.



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