Customers. The entire place is saturated with these dirty bastards. How does a business that makes money off these dickheads manage to survive? Anyway, the average nobody should come in, buy the shite and leave, but the twats in this store have the ability to block up the aisles like a cork up a pigs arse, usually not even buying the shite, just talking about their empty lives to their fellow nobodies. Really now, nobody gives a shit that you just put down a new carpet (side note, how did you thick cunts even manage to lay the carpet properly in the first place, or even the right way up for that matter? Or am I just giving you too much credit here?). Politely asking to get by is like talking to a brick wall so the best solution is to simply move them out of your way, preferably aggressively as possible, it drives home a simple message that they’re on kens turf and that your heavy handedness is how work gets done in there. Actually it doesn’t because they’re too retarded.

The smell of piss warns you of this next lot of retards, the old cunts. These hobbling midgets get in the way of everything, hold everything up and cant stop complaining. Don’t even bother trying to explain anything to them, they cant hear or understand you. Hurry up and die, some of us have work to do.

Dole claiming retards with the IQ of a brick. How these twats even manage to make it into the store without ending up trying to buy their apples from the nearest car dealership eludes me. They cant read, they cant talk properly and they cant understand simple statements like "no." How so many folk have survived encounters with them without being killed for crack money I have no idea. Back to the dole queue, then off to Aldi donkey fuckers.

Truck drivers. I thought you would have to have an IQ higher than a pig to safely drive a 10 tonne 18 wheeled truck 50 miles then reverse the trailer up to a 3 metre gap but no. These idiots have the cheek to stand and watch you struggle with something you’ve never been trained to do and insult you for not doing it right. Examples of their sheer stupidity include asking "excuse me mate, where’s the store?" while standing in the middle of it with his truck parked at the loading bay and being unloaded into the store. I was told by one that I couldn’t drive (he’s technically correct since I ride a motorcycle, but hes still a retard) while wheeling some stock about so I jammed a wooden plank into the fan in the back of his truck. Explain that to your supervisor, tosser.

Foreigners (but only the ones that shop in Morrisons, bashing any others is plain old racism). They give their fellow countrymen a terribly bad name. Is it too much trouble to learn a little bit of English before asking questions or even carry a phrase book? Pointing at things could mean anything. What’s that supposed to mean, you want me to pick up that cheese and hand it to you? Your wife smells like that particular type of cheese? The shape reminds you of a famous landmark in your country? Don’t even bother talking to them, they cant understand the most popular language in the world, they'll simply keep repeating their question over and over and over and over.

Staff. They’re all alkies, they come in pissed, they come in hung over, they break all the rules, they perv all the girls, they dont know the difference between prostitution and cannibalism, they think Las Vegas has a beach. I make an effort to do work properly, a manager comes along and pulls a lecture out of his ass about how I’m not doing it right, not why, just a statement of the obvious. I go back and show blatant disregard for their ground rules and get commended for an improvement and a job well done. What a great message to send your staff, dipshits. Managers don’t need to be ranted about, we all know that all managers in all companies are incompetent and inattentive and don’t have a clue. Fuck off back to the pub.

Diarrhoea/vomiting inducers. I was going to say food but Dictionary.com defines food as:

food
    -noun
    1. any nourishing substance that is eaten, drunk, or otherwise taken into the body to sustain 
       life, provide energy, promote growth, etc.

I’ve never bought or eaten any of this "food" from anywhere in the store, despite being paid on 2 ocasssions to do so. If good sense and logic don’t deter you from eating this "food" then perhaps the Morrisons policy of not doing things by halves will: Morrisons E-coli outbreak If they're going to give you E-coli they'll give you the most lethal strain! I’ve seen countless people succumb to this "food" and "food safety" and "hygiene" practices. No thanks, sell it as industrial strength pest control poison